A Love Over Time
by Quinninism
Summary: Ritsuka and Kakashi first meet at a young age. How will Kakashi's beliefs and self control react to his ever growing heart. Characters probably are OoC This will contain major MAJOR spoiler I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT OWN CHARACTERS AND CONCEPTS!
1. Chapter 1

Kakashi love story

Chapter One

Ritsuka looked upon her new sensei timidly, though her vision was obscured by the sun that poked through the trees above. She had never met someone from outside of her small village before. He was very tall, which was the first thing she noticed as she vaguely wondered if all outsiders were this tall? He also had crazy white hair, was this another trade of people from Konoha? His dopey grin made his eyes screw up slightly, which seemed to suit his roundish face. Apparently, he was one of the best in Konoha, and her parents had requested he trained their daughter to become a shinobi of sheer excellence. He bent down closer so he was at her eye level.

"So! You must be the Ritsuka-chan?" he ruffled her hair, earning a small blush to appear on the young girl's cheeks. He laughed lightly as he stood back to his normal, towering height. "Well, we'd better get started!" he gestured for Ritsuka to follow him away from her parents. Her mother nodded curtly at her as she turned a questioning look towards them. Sighing, she followed the bizarre man.

They walked on into the forest, thankfully away from watchful eyes. His sudden movements were something Ritsuka was going to have to grow accustomed she had mused as she stiffened when her strange new sensei spun round, and promptly sat on the ground, his grin still plastered on his face. "So, Ritsuka-chan, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?" she looked at him puzzled, her head tilting in a cute manner.

"What would you like to know?" She replied in a small voice. Her parents had not mentioned there would be a test! Her sensei chuckled.

"Well, your likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests, stuff like that." He lay back with his hands behind his head as Ritsuka continued to stand; he had not instructed otherwise.

"Well…" she had never been asked this kind of question before. "um… I like to learn, I guess, and uh… helping others?" she stopped, trying to think of a good answer. "I don't really dislike anything. When I'm not studying I'm being trained, and when I'm not training, I'm either eating or asleep, so I don't really have time for hobbies." She screwed her face up; trying to think of anything she had missed out. "I'm interested in perfecting my skills so as to be able to put them to some good use, and prove to everyone that I can do something." She finished with a face of determination though she felt she could have done better, if she had been prepared. Her sensei sat up and looked at her.

"Hm… interesting. So you don't have any hobbies? Wow. Everyone has to have a hobby! Well during training, I'll have to find you one." He smiled as he got to his feet. He walked over to Ritsuka, and bent down to her level again. "I hear you have already been taught some fighting skills. Do you mind if we try them out?" Ritsuka shook her head.

"Hai! Sensei!" she replied surely, though her blush returned.

"Good, good! Right well, you stand over there, and I'll stand over here. On my count, you are going to attack me. Try and take me down using any means you like. Okay?" he smiled goofily again as he awaited Ritsuka's reply.

"Hai! Sensei!" they went to their previously mentioned posts, and her sensei counted to three. Ritsuka jumped into action, mind filling with strategies. She forced chakra down her body, and directed it out through her feet, effectively increasing her speed. On reaching her sensei, she pushed out in another burst of speed, diving behind him, and striking him from the back. He caught her leg, surprised by her methods. She twisted her body so that her other leg struck downwards this time, but was again stopped. She jumped back, reviewing the situation. He was much taller than her, which gave her the advantage of getting in and out of reach quickly. She would stay low when near him, and watch his legs. She then jumped into a nearby tree, hiding herself. She lowered her chakra so that she could not be sensed. Her sensei smirked when he felt her presence disappear.

"Ah. I see you have come very far. Your father was right. You are going to be fun!" he however continued to stand patiently still, waiting for whatever Ritsuka was about to do. He was rewarded quickly by a soft kick to the shin, and a tap on the chin, as she appeared from the ground beneath him, jumping out of reach.

"I wasn't sure if I was to actually hit you or not, so I decided it best to just touch you where I would have hit you." Her face remained serious as she readied herself for any surprise attack. Her sensei laughed full heartedly as he looked upon his new student. It had been so long since he had been surprised by a child like that. He had deliberately not done anything, but still! And not only that, but she had not hit him with her full power encase she hurt him. Ritsuka looked at her sensei, who was now clutching his side, and wiping tears from his eyes. She couldn't believe it. Was he laughing at her!? Her bush returned with a vengeance.

"Oh dear! You are definitely talented, but when I said take me down, I meant it." he chuckled again thinking of how a six year old had felt the need to protect one of the legendary Sanin from herself. She couldn't be that strong, right? Ritsuka looked at her sensei, still not quite sure why he found the situation funny.

"Well I won't hold back then." the raw sting of humiliation tainted her voice as she launched into another attack before her sensei had time to realise she had moved. He jumped aside as a kick came for his head, and blocked a punch that was directed for his stomach. She had some power behind them for someone so small, though nothing for a man of his stature to be worrying about. She jumped back landing in a crouching position. Her sensei resumed his non-chelant pose as he looked down at her. That's when he noticed she had two different coloured eyes, one brown and one green.

Ritsuka darted to the side, channelling her chakra through her feet again, launching herself over the top of her sensei. As she landed on the ground behind, she kicked at his feet, missing, and jumped up catching her sensei's long pony tail. She used it as a rope, swinging round on it pulling her sensei off balance. He yelped in pain, holding onto his hair, trying desperately to free it from her grip. In his shock, he had lost his bearings of the situation, and didn't notice the foot headed straight for his face until it was far too late. It connected to both their surprise, and her sensei stumbled a couple of feet before sliding down the nearest tree.

Ritsuka ran over to her sensei to see him laughing again.

"A dirty fighter huh? Daddy didn't mention that." Ritsuka blushed for what felt like the millionth time that day, not realising there had been rules.

"I am so sorry!" Ritsuka said quickly before jumping down on all fours, and bowing deeply. "I thought you would have blocked and I didn't realise that the hair was a no go area. I over stepped my mark! I am so sorry!" she continued to plead. Her sensei was a little surprised. A cheeky smile crossed his face as he put his foot under her body, flicked it, and watched as she rolled over with a look of horror etched on her face. Her sensei laughed and lay down next to her, ruffling her hair again.

"Don't worry about it. I never set any rules, so it was allowed. I never realised you were so mean though." He faked a pout. Ritsuka looked at her sensei apologetically. He lay back again, with his arms behind his head, and stared at the canopy of leaves above them. In the short time they had spent together, Ritsuka had grown rather fond of her knew sensei. "So, I take it you're quite experienced in the old taijutsu then?"

She looked over to her sensei and nodded.

"My mother teaches me a lot. She just doesn't seem to have any time now, and feels that a change in style might help me to improve." Her sensei turned on his side so he was now facing the young girl.

"How long have you been training?" Ritsuka sat in thought for a moment before answering.

"Since I could walk really. But proper training didn't start until I was four." Her sensei nodded thoughtfully. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl.

"When do we meet again?" Ritsuka asked after a while of silence.

"I'll be seeing you once a week. Apparently you have a busy schedule!"

"Well we better get started then right?" she turned a cheeky grin towards her sensei as she flicked the tip of his nose with her finger. He rubbed his face looking a bit puzzled. "That's for flicking me with your foot!" she laughed and made a successful get away as her sensei tried to grab her.

"You know kid. I think I'm gonna enjoy teaching you!" she blushed at the comment and smiled.

"I think I'm going to like you teaching me!" Ritsuka chirped, happy for the relaxing atmosphere that surrounded her sensei, which was cut short as he took off after her, instigating a game of chase.

**Herro everyone! Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed the first installment! As you will notice the comma is mu best friend,,,,, so i do appologise for anyone who is quite grammar concious, 'cause I'm rubbish at english and proud! **

**Well let me know what you think and thanks again for reading! XD**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The two worked together for a couple of months. Ritsuka was learning fast, and her sensei was impressed with her progress. He had been boasting about her constantly to his former student, and had decided it was finally time to bring him along for a visit.

Ritsuka walked to the clearing in the forest where she was meant to be meeting her sensei. He was late, again. She laughed lightly at her sensei's carefree nature, hoping no one had seen her laugh to herself. She would look mad…

Ritsuka found herself wishing she could be more like him. He had told her stories of how he grew up, the places he had been to and the people he had met. He knew so many people, and had been so many places.

There was a rustling in the trees which had her turning excitedly, expecting to see her brilliant sensei. Instead she was in front of a younger man with brilliant blue eyes, and blonde hair. He was very handsome, the thought causing Ritsuka to blush madly. He smiled on seeing her, and turned to look behind him.

"This her? She's cuter than you said she was." He laughed and turned to face Ritsuka again. By this time she had pulled out a kunai, and stood, readying herself for battle. She then saw her sensei walk out from behind the young man.

"You can put that away. I just thought I'd bring an old student of mine along." He gestured towards the blonde. "You don't mind do you?" he added quickly, placing his gaze upon the still brandished kunai. Ritsuka looked at her sensei, and then back at the stranger, and slowly lowered her weapon. "Good!" he walked behind her and pushed her over to his former student. The man bowed lightly before speaking.

"My name is Namikazi Minato. Pleasure to meet you Ritsuka!" he smiled warmly. "Jiraiya-sama has told me a lot about you." Ritsuka blushed hard again looking at her sensei and then back at Minato.

"um.. hi." She said timidly. She wasn't used to this meeting strangers stuff. Her sensei explained that he thought it would be good for her to meet new people, and also good to see different kinds of jutsu and style. He then got Minato to demonstrate some jutsu that he was apparently very famous for, and she realised she had rival in speed.

"Known as the 'Konoha Yellow Flash'. I told you that already though." Her sensei had cheerfully said when Minato shot by her in a race. "You may be fast, but as you can see, you still have far to go." He chuckled at the still astonished look on Ritsuka's face.

Jiraiya and Minato continued the rest of their training time telling stories about each other, and showing off some things they had been working on. Apparently Minato was on the brink of making a few discoveries. When Jiraiya whipped out the new book he was working on, Minato had screeched comically, swatting the book out of his hand, and placing it in his green vest jacket, effectively confiscating it.

"I hope you haven't let her read any of that," he turned to Ritsuka, panic written all over him "has he?" she smiled, and shook her head. Minato looked relieved as he scolded Jiraiya for his near destruction of an innocent mind.

Ritsuka had grown to like Minato as quickly as she did her sensei. He sometimes came to help out with teaching, and also helped up her speed. She loved the time she had with them because she could be free. She could say what she liked, and not have to make it sound clever and posh. She even found herself laughing, which she hadn't done much, except when she was with her brother, but she wasn't allowed to see him.

When she turned seven, Jiraiya was setting up for some tests to be done. He wanted to check her IQ, and he was pretty sure he could get her into the Chunin exams if he could find her a team.

"Well, I'm quite impressed. Looks like young Kakashi-kun has a possible rival. With time and a little studying of course" A man chuckled, looking down at Ritsuka's small form. She was incredibly nervous being outside of her village. Her parents were not happy about this arrangement, especially her mother, but due to the Hokage wanting to perform the test, she was permitted to go.

"She's definitely something ain't she!" her sensei beamed as he ruffled her hair, a bad habit he seemed to have. The Hokage smiled broadly as he handed the results to Ritsuka.

Kurosaki Ritsuka: IQ result

228

Ritsuka stared at the number. She had done this before, but only achieved 218. Her mother will be happy, hopefully.

"Thank you!" she smiled, handing the paper to her sensei to show him. He however already knew it was good due to the Hokage's comment of Ritsuka being Kakashi's possible rival. He should really introduce her to him. She might be able to lighten his mood. He was too serious for his own good.

They left the Hokage's office after some arrangements were made. Ritsuka was to go forward for the Chunin exams if she managed to find a team. Apparently, Kakashi was looking for a team to, so all he needed was one other Genin.

So Jiraiya headed towards the training ground where he knew he would find Minato teaching his student, Kakashi.

On approaching them, Ritsuka first noticed the boy's hair. It was grey! Maybe he was like an old man or something, but with a small body. When the boy turned, she realised he didn't look much older than her, and was wearing a mask.

_Strange…_

"Kurosaki! What a nice surprise!" Minato turned to Jiraiya "I thought she wasn't allowed to leave her village?" Jiraiya smiled and explained about the Hokage thinking it would be good for her to see outside her village. If she was to become the great things her parents had expected, then she would need to see there was more to her world than just the small village she was protected by. Also since Ritsuka's father and the hokage had been friends for a long, they had managed to persuade her mother easily.

Meanwhile, Ritsuka stood beside her sensei, trying desperately not to stare at the boy's hair.

_He must be Kakashi then._

The boy glanced at her boredly before he continued with his training. He was fast and precise, yet he had a certain elegance about him. She watched as he repeatedly hit his target with kunai accurately, while running and jumping in all directions. He never missed once.

"Oi!" Jiraiya nudged her out of her thoughts. "Is Kakashi more interesting than us now?!" Jiraiya laughed as a blush crept onto Ritsuka's face "I said tell Minato what your new IQ is." Ritsuka was never one to boast, and she felt uncomfortable telling people good things about herself. She never really believed any were really there. Her sensei nudged her again.

"228" she said quietly, trying not to sound cocky, or hot headed. Minato's smiled broadened.

"Well done! Jiraiya always said you were a genius!" he praised, and turned to his own student. "D'ya hear that 'Kashi! She almost got the same as you!" the boy had now stopped training and was looking at Ritsuka. Why was he acting so cold? She backed away, trying to shuffle behind her sensei for protection against his almost agonising stare. Jiraiya noticed this and laid a hand on her back reassuring her.

"It's alright." He said softly. Maybe meeting Kakashi on her first trip outside her village wasn't his best idea. "Ritsuka, this is Hitake Kakashi. He's too serious for his own good and never cracks a smile. Not that you would see it, of course, if he did. 'Kashi this is Kurosaki Ritsuka, the girl I was telling you about." Kakashi bowed slightly, not taking his eyes from Ritsuka's. She bowed in return. Jiraiya pushed her over to Kakashi rather roughly, putting her off balance embarrassingly, and turned to leave. "Ever tried ice cream?" Ritsuka shook her head, rather curious of his random change of subject. "Didn't think so. I'll get you some." He turned to Minato. "You coming?"

Ritsuka watched her sensei leave her with a complete stranger. Kakashi didn't look pleased that he had been left either, but resumed training anyway.

Ritsuka's face remained straight and emotionless as her mind went into overdrive.

_What will I say! He doesn't seem to like me very much even though we have just met! Do I smell? Or is it my hair?_ Ritsuka restrained against the urge to smell herself._ Just say 'hello, how are you?'… No that sounds stupid! 'Hey! How's it going?' …_

_Aw Kami-sama! It's not fair._

Kakashi stopped his training uncomfortably and turned as if to say something. When he opened his mouth no words came out, and he returned to training once again. Ritsuka had a minor breakdown. Why did she have to be so socially inept?

They stayed in silence until their sensei's returned bearing ice-cream. Jiraiya had grimaced at the horrible scene. Ritsuka looked like she was about to cry, and Kakashi looked as serious as ever. He sighed loudly, earning a couple of strange looks from the group. Kakashi of course ignored him.

"Here you are. You looked like a mint chocolate chip type to me!" he smiled as Ritsuka took the cone with an incredulous look on her face. She watched as her sensei stuck his tongue out and licked his own. She looked back at the green substance on the cone in her hand, and tentatively did the same. Her face lit up as she crunched a bit of chocolate.

"Looks like you were right." Minato laughed as she began lapping at her treat, eyes wide and face smiling. She blushed as she slowed down again, trying to pretend she was completely indifferent to this amazing 'ice-cream'.

Kakashi had continued training, trying to ignore the ice cream that Minato was currently waving in front of his face.

"Oh go on! You know you want to." He teased as Kakashi desperately tried to keep his cool.

"It's bad for you." He simply said as he turned and glared at his sensei. "And anyway, you promised you would help me with that jutsu." He stated as he went back to his target practise, a scowl firmly in place. Minato sighed and picked his student up unceremoniously, and threw him over his shoulder.

"You work me to the bone boy. And your being rude!" he dropped Kakashi in heap on the ground next to Ritsuka and handed him his ice cream. "Eat it or I won't be teaching for another week." He simply stated as he sat next to Jiraiya and got into a discussion about kids these days.

Kakashi ate his ice-cream reluctantly as he tried to think of something to say to the girl next to him. He had got into a heated argument with himself bout whether this Ritsuka was cute or not, or if it was even relevant if she was cute or not when she spoke up.

"So, uh… you're really good at throwing." She silently beat herself up for how stupid that had sounded.

_Good at throwing?! What were you thinking?! You're such a dork! Good at throwing..._

"Thanks." He said quietly. "You uh… been training with Jiraiya long?" he didn't look at her, though he seemed particularly interested in the small bush at the other side of the clearing.

"Just over a year." She said trying not to sound stupider than she already felt.

"What age are you?" a small blush seemed to creep up onto his face. It hadn't sounded quite as forward in his head. He hoped the mask would do its job.

"Seven, and you?" Kakashi turned; relieved she hadn't made fun of him. He noticed she seemed to be as flustered as he was.

"Uh…" He momentarily forgot his age.

_What is wrong with me?! _He thought, his eyebrows knitting together in annoyance.

"I'm nine." He said after a while. She giggled slightly and turned around so she was facing him.

"Jiraiya and Minato have told me lots about you. Say you're like a prodigy. That you graduated from the academy at the age of six!" she seemed to be a lot more comfortable now that she noticed Kakashi was having trouble talking to her as well. Maybe he didn't mean to be so cold.

"Yeah." He said a little embarrassed. "Sensei talks about you to, says your pretty much Jounin level in some aspects of your training program." Ritsuka blushed deeply. She had never thought she was of that level at all.

"Wow… I wouldn't say I was that good." She laughed uneasily. "Jiraiya is trying to get me into the Chunin exams. Says he's going to find me a team. Are you a Chunin yet?" Kakashi shook his head. "Oh. I thought you would have been."

"Never managed to get a team, just been waiting to find two others so I can go through. Sensei found one guy. He's thirteen." He paused for a moment as he tried to get the next line out "Why don't you join our team?" after all, they needed another member. It wasn't that he particularly wanted Ritsuka in the team. Not at all. Nope!

Ritsuka looked to her sensei who was listening in.

"That's a great idea 'Kashi-chan! You smooth talker you!" Jiraiya loved to annoy Kakashi, but never managed to properly make him blush before. Maybe introducing Ritsuka was a good thing. Well for Jiraiya anyway. "This means you'll get out your village a lot more, and will have a chance to meet new people." he added to Ritsuka who to was blushing... again.

Training stopped for the day as they took Ritsuka on a guided tour of the village. Kakashi didn't say much due to Jiraiya's constant embarrassing comments about him being smooth or a stud muffin.

_Stupid perverted Sannin! _Was often the thought that crossed Kakashi's mind, sometimes a little more colourful than others.

Later that day, Jiraiya headed back to Ritsuka's village with her, and put his proposal forward to her parents. Her father was very excited about his daughter progressing, but her mother did not seem pleased, so they came to a compromise. Ritsuka could go and train in Konoha, as long as the training did not come in the way of her other activities. They also allowed her to train every second day instead of once a week, so she could get used to her team, but they had to do most of the training in the clearing of the forest just outside their small village.

Jiraiya left triumphant after agreeing to the terms, and Ritsuka was most excited. Things were going to be good!

**Herro again everyone! Hope you enjoyed the second chapter! Finally getting to the Kakashi bits now XD though he's much to young to be drooled over legally! But worry not, in about chapter a million he's all grown up XD**

**Well let me knows how it's going! and thanks again!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been a lovely day in Ritsuka's village. The sun was splitting the trees though it wasn't too hot. A nice breeze had been flowing its way through the clearing, the grass gently swaying and dancing to the invisible force. Not a cloud in the sky either, which Ritsuka didn't mind, though she would have preferred to cloud gaze. Jiraiya had been the one to teach her that game, though he never seemed to see anything that wasn't… dirty. Ritsuka never realised that there were so many boobs floating above her, which was a little unnerving at the tender age of seven.

Training went on as planned. Kakashi had even tagged along this time. She was positive that he had smiled at one point, but could never be sure due to his damn mask.

She had returned home, as usual, and looked back on the day. She hadn't really learned too much, mostly practise and reminding of stuff she already knew. This was probably how training was going to be for a while now. She stepped through the front door, kicking off her shoes absently before sauntering into the hallway. Deciding that she needed a drink before heading to the study, she wandered into the kitchen. To her excitement she found her brother sitting at the table in the kitchen. She stopped abruptly in the doorway, and looked around for her parents. He did the same, and once they were sure the coast was clear, ran to each other and hugged for ages. She loved her brother more than anything, but was never really allowed to be alone with him. He would sometimes wait until their parents were asleep, and sneak into her room to talk. He had never been caught, well as far as she knew, but she imagined if he was, he would have been punished severely.

"Hey you! How was your day?" he whispered excitedly. She looked up into his dark brown eyes, and smiled. She loved how he seemed to make her feel like his whole world when he looked at her.

"Good! Kakashi came today. He seemed more talkative, but was still real quiet. How was your day?" He smiled down at her, running his hand through her long Black hair.

"Had a mission. It was a nice easy escorting one. I am just in the door two minutes before you!" There were footsteps as someone approached the kitchen. Her brother jumped back and sat lazily on the table and Ritsuka went to the doorway, pretending she had just entered.

Their mother walked in and nodded towards her son and smiled. And then she saw Ritsuka. Her smile quickly left and went back to its usual emotionless expression. Ritsuka inwardly sighed at her mother's strictness. She had tried not to show her any affection in the hope to toughen her up. Apparently Ritsuka was far too compassionate.

The family sat down to another quiet dinner that night, and Ritsuka retired to her room, mumbling about needing a shower.

Once she was all clean and sweat free, she slouched into her room and headed for the bed.

"Sano? What are you doing here so early? Mother and father are not asleep yet!" Ritsuka hissed trying to shove her brother up off her bed and out of her room. He laughed as she managed to move him, surprised by her strength. Their parents would never talk of her progress, and she was too modest to tell him good things about herself.

"It's fine. I can always hide!" he joked, picking up a rather big book and covered his face with it, trying to calm his frantic sister with a little humour. He missed her so much, and only wanted to talk.

"Later!" she persisted. He sighed and left the room.

Darkness sneaked upon the village, and Ritsuka woke hearing raised voices coming from the kitchen. She quickly got out of bed and crept out into the hall, lowering and hiding her chakra so she would not be sensed.

"Sanosuke! We have told you, I don't know how many times! She still has far to go and if you continue to distract her, she is going to fail!" her mother yelled at her brother. She had heard these arguments all too many times. Sanosuke would always say she deserved to be a kid, because that was what she was, and that she should be able to have fun and talk to people. Have friends…

"Son." Her Father had started now "you have to understand that this goes far beyond your needs and desires."

"What?! This has nothing to do with me! Yeah I want to spend time with her, but I want to see her happy! She is not happy being locked up and protected all the time. What happens when we are all gone?! She's going to be alone!" her brother had never raised his voice before. He had always tried to reason with his parents, talk to them rather than argue with them, but they never listened.

"Sanosuke! Don't you dare shout at me! I'm your mother! After all I have done for you, this is how you treat me!" Ritsuka sighed at her mother's usual argument. She would guilt trip her brother into submission, but tonight he seemed to be unstoppable.

"Look! You don't see the hurt in her eyes, the lonely look she has on her face when she sees kids playing. None of the kids here want to play with her because she is 'different' and 'dangerous'. You two are never there for her in the way she needs you, and you won't let me near her!" Sanosuke was really beginning to lose the plot. "How the hell is she going to be able to look after herself if she has nothing to protect! She is like an empty shell!" Ritsuka felt a pang of hurt at her brother's words, not because of how mean it had sounded, but at the truth behind them. She had always felt empty, and insignificant. Her brother had been the only one to say a good thing to her before she met Jiraiya.

"Kurosaki Sanosuke! Who do you think you are?! Coming in and telling us how to bring up our own child!" Sanosuke sighed, visibly despairing at the situation. There was a loud crack as their mother punched her son hard in the face. "And I do not appreciate your ignorance!"

"Why can't you see it?!" he slammed his fists on the table and made his way towards the door. "If you don't fix things now, you're going to lose her! She is going to run away and get herself killed! Is that what you want 'mother'. And what about you dad! You don't even agree with all this, yet you back mum up like she's right! You both make me sick" and with that said he left the room.

His mother's voice could be heard screaming profanities at her son. Sanosuke had long ago seemed to have gotten over her ill treatment of him.

On his way back to his own room, he noticed Ritsuka's shaking form, curled up on the floor just outside the door. "Fuck!" he hissed. He picked her up and carried her to her room, placing her on the bed as she tried to hold back sobs. "I'm sorry you heard that. It's okay. You're allowed to cry. Even if mother doesn't seem to think so, you're still human." He whispered as he lay down next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Sano…" she trailed off as she tried to regain her hand reached up and lightly touched the now reddening mark on his cheek. He rested his head above hers, staring out of the window. He wanted to take her away from this awful life she had been subjected to. There was no need for the way she was being treated, none at all. "Why does it have to be like this?" she asked softly, cuddling closer to her brother. She loved it when he spent the night with her. She felt safe when he was around. Safe from herself.

"I don' know what's wrong with them. I want to say that they are trying to hide you, protect you, and make sure you get the best training so you can protect yourself. That they think that you need to be isolated so they can protect you from being hurt emotionally as well. That they just don't see that what they are doing is hurting you to... but unfortunately, I think we both know it is not true." He sighed, thinking of how foolish their parents were being.

They lay in silence as Ritsuka drifted off to sleep, her breathe levelling out. Sanosuke stayed awake, watching her small frame rising and falling slightly with each breath, watching stray tears slide down her cheeks and into his jumper. He played with her hair, and whispered soothing words to her, hoping she could hear him as she slept.

It was going to be a tough time for them.

Ritsuka woke in her bed the next day with the covers pulled up, and her brother missing. She placed a hand on the still warm sheets where he had slept that night. She smiled slightly at how much she really loved him. She had never told him, and always regretted not being able to do so. She just never knew how.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Her mother entered the room looking as stern as ever.

"You are late. You were meant to be at the breakfast table for seven. It is now ten past seven." She stared hard at her daughter. Ritsuka's eyes were puffy from crying, and her hair was sticking to her face. Not a petty sight she was sure.

"I am so sorry mother! It won't happen again!" she said as she quickly climbed out of her bed. It wasn't often she was late for anything, and when she was, it would irritate her parents to no end. She wanted to ask where Sanosuke was, but knew she would never get an answer. It never made sense as to why she had to be isolated.

Ritsuka ate her breakfast quickly and headed into the study to do her mornings learning. While reading a book on battle tactics, her mind wandered to a certain grey haired boy. She had found herself thinking of Kakashi a lot recently. He just seemed like the type of person who needed to be cracked, like a puzzle. He intrigued her because she had never met anyone like him. So young, yet… so old. She smiled thinking of the serious face he always had on, and what was with that mask? Surely he had nothing to hide. Her thoughts were disturbed as someone entered the room. Her father stood in the doorway, not looking at his daughter as he seemed to be in deep thought.

"Ritsuka. I'm sorry, but you are not to see your brother for a while. He has moved out." He looked out the room door before closing it tight. He couldn't look at Ritsuka as he continued. "You see, he is a danger to you. He teaches you things that only cloud your mind. He is nothing but a distraction, and I hope you understand he had to be removed. Your mother and... I... believe it is the right thing to do." Ritsuka could not believe the insensitivity of her parents, though she picked up on the hesitancy in her father's voice. Who were they to decided who she saw and talked to? Tears prickled the back of he eyes as she tried to hold back her anger.

'_A Shinobi must be in control of their emotions'_ she told herself. That's what Kakashi had said.

"As a shinobi, you cannot have the kind of bond that he is trying to create with you. It will only cause you problems, and pain later on. Please understand." Her father left the room without another word. Reality crashed down as she mulled over the words that were just spoken to her. Her brother was gone, and she had no idea where. Her best friend and brother was gone, and would never be allowed to come back. She would have to find him, no matter what she had to do. She continued to stare at the same page she had been for about half an hour now, not reading, but planning.

Tomorrow at training, she would ask Jiraiya to help her find Sanosuke. He knew her brother and would possibly know where he was. Maybe she could catch him before he got too far away. Get him to take her with him. Or even convince him to stay in Konoha so she could go visit and keep up her training. The parents didn't need to know.

**Herro! How's everyone doing? glad your still here reading on XD**

**Chapter three up, and we're finally seeing into Ritsuka's family, which as you can see, isn't all that stable. **

**Thanks again fro reading and let me know what you think! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

At the next training session, Ritsuka had talked with Jiraiya about her current situation. He had eagerly agreed to help her find Sanosuke, and promised to do what he could to help. It had been more than she had asked for, but she was happy to accept his offer.

Training had gone on as planned, and Ritsuka dived into practise happily. This, however, was the first time she was going to meet the last member of their team. Kakashi had warned her of him, saying that he was rather flamboyant and incredibly annoying, but Kakashi was annoyed by everything so it was hard to truly understand her new team mate. She was excited and apprehensive at the same time, but Jiraiya had assured her everything would go fine.

And so they waited in the training area in Konoha, Kakashi disapproving of the boy's lateness.

"I hope this isn't an indication of his lack of ability to do anything…" he had muttered, earning a playful slap on the back of the head from Minato.

"Stop being so mean to everyone. You'll end up with no friends." This was often the line that was said in these situations, which made Ritsuka feel so very sorry for Kakashi. She made a silent promise to herself that she would never leave Kakashi on his own, even if he was very mean to her.

There was a sudden crash and loud cry as something colourful flew across the clearing. The colourful… thing… had crashed nastily into a bush at one side, a leg and an arm hanging out limply. Jiraiya wiped a tear or two from his eyes as he tried desperately not to laugh out loud. Kakashi's face, well what you could see, was an absolute picture. He was torn between humour and absolute hate, confusion and complete disbelief. His look of repentance and pleading eyes made Minato double over and clutch his sides desperately. Kakashi felt mutinous and Ritsuka began to worry that he was about to through a tantrum. She didn't see this going down too well at all.

The body ruffled around inside the bush for a while, Jiraiya going over to help him out.

"Aha! A foe I see. You should watch those bushes! Creep up on you when you least expect it!" like when you crash violently and without warning into them? The boy was much taller than Ritsuka and Kakashi, but shorter than Minato and definitely Jiraiya. His broad smile and brilliant white teeth shone brightly in the sunlight… wait, did they just bling? Ritsuka felt a little sick, but sympathetic for the boy. His hair was thick and black, and in a strange out of fashion bowl cut. His eyebrows… god they were surely creatures on their own. Ritsuka scolded herself for the nasty thought, but reminded herself not to be too hard, because they _we_re really big, to be fair.

"Ritsuka! Kakashi! This is Maito Gai!" Minato had managed to compose himself enough for introductions. He almost lost it again when he saw the still incredulous look on Kakashi's face.

"No." was all he managed to say before turning on his heel and making his way out. Minato chased after him, urging to Ritsuka to go and talk to the new… phenomena.

"Uh… Hi! I'm Ritsuka and it's a pleasure to -"

"RITSUKA! What a beautiful name! Never have I heard such poetry flow from my tongue so languidly! I must know your family name!" His eager eyes and sudden closeness had thrown Ritsuka off completely. Who was she again?

"Um… Kurosaki?" she questioned, worried of what was going to happen next.

"Ah! Like the cherry on top! Kurosaki Ritsuka! Oh the ecstasy!" he continued to say her name in different accents, trying to find the best one to suit its beauty… Ritsuka felt herself falter. Was this normal?

Ritsuka's eyes widened when he bent down in front of her in such a formal over the top bow. He had managed to trap her hand in his, and he was currently kissing it softly.

"A pleasure! And absolute pleasure!" he beamed "I am Maito Gai! I am here to join your crusade through the Chunnin exams, and aid you in anything you need me for. Absolutely anything." He nodded as if trying to convey a hidden meaning of some kind, but Ritsuka was too caught up in the moment to realise it. He had suddenly pulled her flush against him, her arm somehow round his neck and his arm around her waist.

_What the hell?!_

The faint choking of a currently dying Jiraiya was heard as he rolled on the ground, his eyes streaming. This was too much. When the Hokage had laughed at the choice, he knew they were in for something, but this?! It was film worthy. Where was his pen, he just had to right this down! Gold! Absolute gold!

Minato had managed to bring back a positively raging Kakashi, who only seemed to get worse when he saw Ritsuka's current situation. Gai was now reciting some poetry to a struggling Ritsuka, completely oblivious to the fear etched on her face. When her eyes landed on Kakashi, they were pleading. Something snapped in Kakashi.

"Put her down!" Kakashi's voice rang in the forest, surprisingly drowning the rather larger than life boy. He looked over to Kakashi and down at Ritsuka. "Let her go! Now!" Kakashi was slowly losing his temper. Jiraiya had stopped laughing now, seeing it probably best to get this Gai to do as instructed before there was blood spilled. Though he did feel a little jealous that it was this flamboyant boy who had made Kakashi lose control and not himself, and he had tried so hard as well…

The situation was calmed quickly, to Ritsuka's relief. She had thanked the now brooding Kakashi thoroughly, but quietly so as to not upset poor Gai. He was currently getting a lesson in the 'complexities of Kakashi' from a still giggling Jiraiya, and Minato tried to reassure said Kakashi that everything would be fine in time.

What a mess!

The next couple of sessions proved to be rather thick with tension. Gai had tried relentlessly to impress and befriend the unapproachable Kakashi, and had failed more miserably each time. Ritsuka worried that maybe Kakashi would snap and possibly hospitalise the poor boy. He was just the exact opposite of him, and everything he didn't like in people. He didn't stand a chance.

But still, Ritsuka spent the most of her training time working with Kakashi and Gai, allegedly as a team. She found herself laughing a lot at Gai's antics, but Kakashi remained unimpressed.

"Stop fooling around. I don't know about you but I want to pass this exam!" Kakashi had shot when Gai had showed Ritsuka a trick he had made up. She had giggled at how silly it was, and how Gai had actually thought she would have been fooled by it. He was growing on her rapidly, and she found him somewhat cute.

"Tch! You are just boring Kakashi-chan. We should make the most of our youth! We only live once." He pulled a pose when he spoke, giving Ritsuka a wink. Kakashi seemed to be bubbling over the edge. He was usually so calm and collected too, but something about there closeness just ticked him off ridiculously. Poor Gai.

"Look. She's seven! So stop hitting on her!" A blush crept onto his cheeks as he returned to practicing his jutsu, Kakashi silently thanking his mask all the while. Gai turned to Ritsuka with a look of horror on his face, and Ritsuka wished she could take a picture.

"Seven?! No one told me! Wow, I thought she was just small for her age. How did I end up in a team of kids?" Gai started going off on a tangent of how he was wasting his youth on children. Kakashi's eyebrow started to twitch, and his hands were balled into fists, his knuckles white with strain.

"Want to spar?" he turned to Ritsuka hoping to get away from Gai. Anything just to get Ritsuka and himself away from him.

"Yeah sure!" she smiled sweetly as she walked to a nearby tree and picked up her weapons pouch, attaching it to her upper thigh. She smiled at Gai politely, so that he wouldn't think she was being rude and ignoring him.

"Let's go!" Kakashi shouted, caring not for Gai's feelings in the slightest, and he jumped into a nearby tree. Ritsuka pretended to not be interested as she followed his chakra through the trees. He had stopped in the one above her, preparing to attack with a jutsu. With speed only Minato could match, she appeared behind Kakashi tapping him on the back of the head. The clone puffed, and she was left standing alone on the branch. She smiled at his strategies. They were so different. Interesting and fun to figure out. Creating her own clone, she shot through the trees in pursuit of the silver haired genius.

Gai watched as the two 'kids' dart about their training area, kunai and shuriken flying through the air. He found himself feeling a bit out of place. He watched in disgust as Ritsuka was almost stabbed by Kakashi in the face.

"For the love of!... watch what your doing you crazy, dangerous idiot!" Gai yelled over to Kakashi, feeling enraged that he had actually tried to hurt her. Kakashi rolled his eyes as he tried to ignore the annoyingly loud shinobi. He dove towards Ritsuka who was currently laughing at the scene. Kakashi's kunai cut through her body, and she disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"If we fight with our clones, we don't need to hold back like we would if we were actually fighting, and we get the benefits and experience." The real Ritsuka was sitting on the grass next to Gai. She giggled when Gai backed himself into a tree, obviously frightened by her.

"How did… Where the…" Gai looked around himself trying to figure out when she had gotten there. Ritsuka giggled cutely again as she turned to watch the fight. Gai blushed as he began to feel his pride smash. She was only seven, and Kakashi was only ten. He was really going to have to train better. No more wasting time with tricks and jokes, it was time to work and train hard. And so, the rest of the day was spent with Kakashi and Ritsuka engaging in battle, and Gai training in reps, setting his own goals and punishments, in true Gai fashion of course. Apparently a person really could hop on one arm one hundred times.

The Chunin exams were coming quicker than Ritsuka had wanted. She was enjoying the time she spent with her team; Gai had turned out to be rather skilled when he put his mind to it, or when he felt the need to prove he was better than Kakashi. Needless to say, Kakashi didn't care, which had made it all the funnier. It was like they were destined to be rivals!

Kakashi however was glad that he wasn't going to have to spend so much time with the strange and rather hairy shinobi. Soon he would be able to get back to some 'proper' training with his sensei. He secretly hoped Ritsuka would be allowed to stay with them, justifying that it was because she was useful and not because he liked her in any way.

Nope. Not at all.

**Herro again! so glad to see your still with me! introduced a certain Maito Gai guy into the whole affair this chapter, so things are looking positively green! XD**

**Hope to be bringing in some humour with good old Gai now in it, so let me know what you think!**

**Thanx again guys!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Herro! Before we kick off, I just want to warn you that there is a lot of swearing in this chapter. of course you all know the dangers of reading Matrue stories, but jst to make sure there are no shocks! Not that swaering is serious, just covreing my ass really!**

**Enjoy!!**

Chapter 5

Ritsuka was abruptly woken. She heard raised voices from downstairs, some doors being slammed shut and the smash of glass now and then. Her parents were fighting again.

Ritsuka pulled the covers over her head, hoping to drown out the chaos in the kitchen. Her parents never used to fight, but recently her father had been standing his ground more, and her mother was not pleased at all. She was the run of the house, the one who made decisions. She was never challenged unless Sanosuke was around, especially by her father. He seemed to be all over the place these days, stress evidently eating at his usually calm demeanour. What was going on?

After failing to block out the shouts, she lay sprawled out on her bed listening to the argument. Apparently her mother was sick of his attitude and he was to sleep in the living room away from her. Or better still, just leave. Ritsuka was used to her empty threats, but something didn't sit right. There seemed to be more conviction this time, like she was actually serious about him leaving.

"I want you the fuck away from me do you understand? I'm sick of the site of you! Your pathetic! Look at you! I was destined to marry a bigger _man_ with muscles and charisma like no other. Long shining blonde hair, and a smile that could melt hearts, as if he was enchanted. He was meant to sweep me off my feet and take me somewhere so we could be together forever! But he found someone else and I got stuck with you!" Her words hung in the air, their sharp truth hurting Ritsuka deeply.

Her father was second best.

She could imagine the hurt that would flash in her father's eyes, but would quickly disappear as his trained shinobi mined controlled it.

"Not this again." His voice sounded horse, like he had been crying? And what did he mean 'again'? Did he already know? "You always do this! Can't you just accept the life you have and learn to embrace it rather than pushing us all away in resentment. _Our_ son is god knows where, doing god knows what, and you act like you couldn't give a shit! And Ritsuka? Don't get me bloody started!" His voice was increasing in anger as he finally said everything he wanted to say. "You say you love me, and then remind me constantly that I'm not as good as you would have liked. Which is it? It can't surely be both?" There was a horrible silence that had Ritsuka kneeling on the edge of her bed, her ears straining to hear the faintest sound of a reply. She was hooked on the conversation, like her life depended on hearing the words that were being spoken now.

"I don't love you. I never have. In fact… You know it's not even worth it! I'm leaving!" Her voice didn't even change in pitch, like she had practised her line often. Like this was all true. That she never loved her father. His choked sob almost broke Ritsuka's heart as she strained to hear more. Surely this wasn't happening? Not now!

There was some more slamming of doors as her mother dashed around the house, packing probably. Ritsuka had to do something, for her father's sake. Shakily, she left her safe bed, and headed into the hallway. Her mother pushed past her without a word, rummaging through the closet for some bags. Ritsuka opened her mouth to say something, but part of her wanted her mother to leave. Part of her felt relief in the thought that she might be able to be normal. Have friends round, like Kakashi! Maybe even Sanosuke would come back. Ritsuka was almost set in doing nothing, until of course; she saw her father. His eyes were shut tight, his mouth straining, his face contorting in total and unwavering agony as held back his sobs. The raw pain in her father's expression was enough to make her change her mind completely.

"Please. Don't go." Her voice was very small compared to the earlier argument. "Mother! Please! You can't possibly mean all those things!" It was as if her mother couldn't hear her at all. Ritsuka stretched out a shaky hand, and pulled gently on her mother's soft silk dressing gown. "Mother!" There was a sudden crack, and Ritsuka fell to the floor holding her face, shock and a little fear coursing through her body.

"Sanosuke I could handle, but you! You weren't meant to happen. All of this was only meant to happen until everything was set!" she had started mumbling nonsense to herself. "'Just wait for my signal' he said, 'I'll come for you when it's time' he said! Empty promises. Well if he won't come get me, I'll go find him!" She slammed the closet shut, determination written on her face. "This was all just a stupid mission. I wasn't meant to have kids, but no, your father wanted to get married, and I had to go along with it 'cause I was on a mission. He wanted kids, a family. I had to go through with it all to keep the mission alive! Now look at me! I'm not getting any younger! I've wasted my fucking time here, and he's no where in sight!" Her mother was now walking through the house, her unbelievable tail rolling out and crushing her father. He fingered his wedding ring disbelievingly.

"I don't understand" was all he could say, over and over, and over.

"You stupid fuck! I'm so sick of this shit! Look at you! You're a fucking coward! Weak and pathetic! Gawd I wish you would just die!" Her words were cutting and unnecessarily harsh. Ritsuka felt the urge to hit her. To beat her until she stopped talking. But she couldn't. Her own disbelief had transfixed her in some strange dream. Yes. A dream. It had to be. But it felt so real…

"Mother! Stop it…" Ritsuka felt her body convulse as tears scorched her cheeks and lips. "Stop hurting him!" She was surprised at the sudden confidence she had found. Even when her 'mother' had glared her worst at her, she felt like she couldn't do anything. That the damage was already done. Maybe it was best she left. For her father. But he seemed to think otherwise.

"Honey." The word sickened Ritsuka. Was he blind? Or deaf even? "Lets talk this over like adults. You don't mean what you say your just -"

"Emotional! I am anything but. For the first time in years I'm speaking the truth. Don't patronise me you ugly old hack! Now get out my way" She pushed past the broken man in the hallway, her temper rising with each second. She kicked a couple of holes in the walls and doors as passed, venting her frustration. "Stay away from me!" her piercing voice stabbed at Ritsuka's father, again and again. Her words had done more damage than any kunai or jutsu ever could. Ritsuka touched her father's hand gently, assuring, and held back sobs as he dashed out of the house wordlessly. Why did he chase her?

Ritsuka's mother reached the edge of the forest. Ritsuka's father called her name, imploring her to stay, but she made no sign of acknowledgement as he called to her repeatedly as he followed.

Ritsuka wanted to go to, but what would she do when she caught up? Her mother had made it perfectly clear she was leaving, and had planned to so from the start, so what was her father trying to accomplish. Was he going to bring her back and wipe the slate clean, pretend that she loved him and that everything was cooshty?!

Ritsuka felt anger bubbled up inside, the look on her father's face haunting her. What was she to do? She was never good at this stuff. Give her a life threatening situation any day over this emotional rollercoaster. Her body shook and grew weak with the unexplainable feelings that coursed through her. The feeling of helplessness was very prominent.

Ritsuka decided to wait. It was probably best that the parents sorted things out, ie. Her mother breaking his heart and leaving him shattered. She waited for an hour or so, going through all the possible scenarios in her head. If only Sanosuke had been her to tell her what to do. He was excellent at this stuff.

_Sanosuke… Where the hell are you?_

Ritsuka waited and waited, until the sky began to change, dawn creeping in. Ritsuka hadn't even noticed it was getting light until she could see the sun about to peak over the distant mountains. She vaguely wondered if maybe her parents had reached them yet or not, even though she knew it was ridiculous. It was a least a weeks travel, even at emotional shinobi speed. She was beginning to plan her next move, maybe track down her parents? Find Jiraiya and see if he knew what to do. He was very wise, and Ritsuka was sure he would know, but she really didn't want to bother him. She wanted to be able to this on her own. To be as strong as she had been taught to be. Kakashi's set of shinobi rules that he usually recited at her whenever she seemed to feel something popped into her head, frustrating her slightly. You really had to be a robot or someone very special to not feel emotions. Kakashi was obviously very special, though she found herself wondering if maybe he was a robot. It was like he was to perfect… Maybe she would see if he could bleed…

Ritsuka's thoughts were abruptly halted when she heard footsteps approaching the house.

_Only one set…_ she noticed.

A very defeated looking father stepped through the front door of the house, his body slumped and his eyes flooding. Ritsuka knew then that she was without a mother from now on.

**And the plot thickens! so Ritsuka's mums a shit man! How will her father cope with the stress of everything? and how will Ritsuka adapt to the new situation?**

**Hope you like it and thanx again for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ritsuka returned to training after missing a couple of days. Her father had contacted Jiraiya to inform him of the current situation, and requested that he be allowed to spend time with his daughter. Ritsuka had been more than happy to stay back and help out around the house, burning all evidence that her witch of a mother ever existed. Ritsuka felt a pang of hurt when she caught her father looking at her sadly, like she reminded him of her. And of course she did! Her hair and face was the same-ish, but it was her father's eyes she had. Two different colours, a beautiful gift that he had been proud to give to her.

They had spent a lot of silent time together, just sitting and enjoying the company of each other. Sometimes her father would confide in her, but it was all jumbled and too raw to sort out. Soon he had taken to drinking, which had Ritsuka concerned. Bottle upon bottle of saki was being drunk all through the day and all through the night. She would wake to find him sprawled on the floor, and a couple of times under the kitchen table, snoring loudly clutching an almost empty jug of vile smelling alcohol. Ritsuka would clean up and put her father to bed, watching over him as his hangover hit violently.

But she had to return to training, and she was scared to leave him. He was a danger to himself at this rate, and she was scared to tell anyone in case it was just a phase, and his name would be tarnished if people found out what was going on. The man who lived a lie and now drowns in his sorrows.

"Ritsuka!" Jiraiya called over to her, confused by her day dreaming. "You said you were coming." Ritsuka stared at Jiraiya carefully. Had she? She really couldn't remember.

"Sorry." Her quiet reply unnerved Jiraiya a little. He let the rest of the group go ahead as he stopped Ritsuka and sat down on the grass, gesturing that she should do the same.

"Lets talk." He lay back lazily, but his eyes remained fixed and serious on Ritsuka's. She sat uncomfortable for the first while, trying to piece together her thoughts. She had to be careful what she said. Then the onslaught began. Her thoughts came out at a speed that had Jiraiya sitting back up, his whole body clearly needed for following the random thought patterns. He heard about the argument and the truth about her mother, learned that Ritsuka knew her mother didn't like her, but how she had tried to stop her for her father. He learned how much her father truly loved her mother, though she didn't see why. He learned of her father's depression, and finally but unwillingly, she spoke of his drinking problem. She felt so dirty, but strangely light. Had she betrayed her father? No, she could trust Jiraiya.

Jiraiya sat quietly for a moment, mulling over things. Situations like this needed tact and understanding. He was treading dangerous waters.

"Ritsuka." He smiled softly, surprised at how grown up the young girl was. It wasn't healthy. "Sometimes, grief has a funny way of making us do strange things. Some people cry, some don't, some shout and scream, and get violent, and others don't. Some find ways of escaping, which is what your father seems to be doing. I don't think he understand, or fully comprehends what's happened. Maybe he does but just doesn't want to accept its reality. And at times like these, some people drink, or take drugs, gamble, smoke etc. etc. What I'm saying is, that your father needs help. Someone to talk to. Someone to explain to him what's happening, explain that it's natural, and that he isn't as rubbish and as bad as he feels he is. Unfortunately, you are to close to the situation to help him through this. It's outside help he'll need. Plus, this ordeal will obviously have affected you to, so it wouldn't be fair for you to take such a task on yourself. I wish you had told me sooner." Ritsuka was now shaking her head vigorously. Jiraiya sighed as he watched tears run down her cheeks, strangely adding an angelic touch to the small girl. He hadn't realised how much he truly cared for her until this moment. This moment when he realised he wanted to kill her mother for doing this. Well, maybe kill was a bit harsh, but at the moment it wasn't the point.

"I can't. He'll be mad at me if I told someone. His pride and honour mean a lot to him. He's so well respected. To think how he will explain what happened never mind that he has a crippling escape method…" Ritsuka wiped furiously at her eyes, silently hoping Kakashi wasn't to return right now. That would just be too much to handle.

"Sweet Ritsuka." She was surprised at Jiraiya's touching sympathy, and at the hand pulling her in for a hug. She felt weird at first, only used to the ones Sanosuke gave her. But soon her body relaxed, and she moulded into Jiraiya's lap, her tears falling freely, Kakashi's lecture's a distant memory. Jiraiya hushed her and soothed her as she babbled on about useless things, like how she missed Sanosuke, how she wanted to be strong, how she had always wanted to be hugged by her mother… her mother… her mother.

"I mean, I know she doesn't like me, but I don't hate her, in fact it's quite the opposite. I strive for her. I want her to love me, I want impress her. I care for her more than I think I should… I feel like I'm betraying my father when I say I miss her, which is stupid! She hated me, she said so..." Ritsuka began to spiral out of control, her sobs increasing as more realisations hit her. "Why does it hurt so much?" Ritsuka's question jerked Jiraiya out of his comforting trance. He stared down at the girl, then looked away thoughtfully. More dangerous waters.

"Well, it just shows that we care. That even though we are shinobi, we are still human. The rules and all that are just guides as to how we should conduct ourselves on missions, and sometimes throughout our lives. But even though you're not meant to show pain and sadness, we still feel them. Kakashi feels them to. He's had his fair share of disaster, and I think that's why he's better at it than most people. He's been here and came out the other side. I wouldn't say a better person, but more experienced." Jiraiya seemed to know exactly what Ritsuka was thinking, and it was a relief to hear that Kakashi was the same, though not so happy he had been hurt at some point.

"What happened?" Ritsuka didn't mean to ask, but the question had come out none the less.

"That's not for me to say, I don't think. And I wouldn't ask either. He seems to be okay, but you know Kakashi…" Jiraiya seemed suddenly very sad. Ritsuka thought of Kakashi. Thought of his great strength and pride. How he had been where she was now, and still come out fighting. There was hope for her yet. And she wasn't about to let everyone down.

"Thank you!" she chirped, her mood returning to its usual light self. Jiraiya smiled, relieved and quite surprised at the turn around. She was so strong. He admired her greatly. Envied her almost.

Ritsuka and Jiraiya caught up with the group in their usual training spot, laughter back in the air. Ritsuka grew relieved at the happy atmosphere; even Kakashi seemed to be trying a little harder, though she was probably just imagining it.

But the happiness she felt began to ebb away as the day ended and she had to return home. Her father was getting worse, violent even. What was she to do?

The next couple of weeks grew tough for Ritsuka. Her father's mind set had changed dramatically. From the confident, well off and well respected shinobi, to the shadow and ghost of a man, whose mental behaviour was degrading rapidly. Sometimes he would lash out for no reason, blaming random people for things that hadn't happened. He began talking to himself, shouting even when things seemed to escalate. Whenever Ritsuka left the house, she experienced a gruelling interrogation, where when how… she tried desperately to cater for his illness, though it was proving difficult. She had spoken to Jiraiya, though ommitting some key points she felt would have her father institutionalised, and he had talked to the Hokage. The hokage had even visited himself, but had assured Ritsuka that he was fine and just needed time to adjust.

And to make matters worse, Jiraiya had left on a very long mission. Ritsuka had felt like throwing a fit, or crying to get him to stay, but she knew that if he had to go, he had to go. Her selfishness would just have to get lost. Minato had promised to look after her though when he was gone, continuing the training for the Chunin exams. Luckily they were almost upon them, which kept Ritsuka busy.

"Kakashi, Gai is your 'Teammate' which means you have to listen to his ideas." Minato was rubbing his eyes frustratedly. "Telling him to shut up all the time isn't going to help you through the exams!" Kakashi frowned, annoyed at being reprimanded, never mind in front of everyone. He was a prodigy! Why did he have to work with the likes of Gai?

"Yes Kakashi! Springtime of youth and all that!" Ritsuka chirped in, waving her finger as if to give him into trouble. She had grown to enjoy taunting the serious shinobi. "Come on man! We need to be a team! Gai's ideas are… interesting at least!" Gai blushed and flicked his hand at her embarrassedly.

"Oh! Ritsuka! You're too good to me!" He beamed, sideling over to her side suggestively. It was hard to remember her age. She was so pretty!

Kakashi felt an overwhelming need to hit the colourful boy, something strange overtaking him. Was it possessiveness? No it couldn't be… but if it was, then he had to keep away from Ritsuka. Kakashi had been battling with himself a lot recently. Everything he had worked towards; his self control, his emotionaless demenour, his ability to look at things rationally, they were all being affected by her. Kakashi felt himself falter at the thought of staying away from her. Did he really want that? What would a life without Ritsuka be like? Dull he imagined. But she was ruining him! She was like a drug, and he didn't like it one bit. He would have to figure something out, and soon!

**Well that's the next enstalment, where we get a glimpse of Kakashi's inner thougts of Ritsuka. She is begining to bring out feelings in him that he doesn't want, and being so old for his young age, it's all far to confusing. Poor Kakashi.**

**We will see more of Ristuka's feelings etc for a while, but when the real Naruto story kicks off, Kakashi's thoughts and feelings will be consentrated on more. So sorry if that's what you've been looking for XS**

**Let me know how you think it's going! thanks again!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ritsuka walked through her front door tentatively. She could never be too sure of her father's mood these days. The coast seemed clear as she headed towards her room. She closed the door with a louder thud than she had meant, but all seemed to be going well.

That was until her father started bashing unnecessarily hard on her door.

"You in there?! Ritsuka! Where have you been all day?!" her father's voice was loud and crackly, like he had been crying all day… again. Ritsuka felt her heart sink at the thought of what was going to happen.

"It's okay dad. I was at training again. It's only Thursday. I will be home on Saturday and Sunday though." Ritsuka was now leaning on the door, her forehead pressed against it. By now her father was probably sitting with his back to the door, tears escaping him. "Dad?" a muffled sob indicated she was right.

_Why can't I fix this?..._

"Dad?" Ritsuka tried again, hoping that he wasn't going to get angry.

"I've made dinner…" his voice was quiet and childlike, cracking slightly under the pressure of his crying.

_Why am I not strong enough?..._

"Great! Good job!" Ritsuka perked up, hoping that her happiness would leak out and into him. Her father needed her constant support. The door opened slowly and her father stood in the doorway, his face hidden by his long, messy hair.

"Good job? You really think so? Did I do well?" Her father seemed to lack the enthusiasm she was hoping for, but he had calmed down which was a plus.

"Of course! You did a great job!" Ritsuka smiled the biggest and happiest smile she could, and placed her hand softly on his shoulder.

Ritsuka waited for him to lead the way, and sure enough, he turned and headed to the kitchen.

_Why can't I make you happy? Why am I not enough? What is it you want? Is it mother? Do you still miss her? I just want to help…_

They ate slowly that night, her father saying random things as he passed about the kitchen, standing and sitting while eating. Ritsuka watched and listened, trying not to set him off. He was so unpredictable that it sometimes became quite impossible to do.

"You want more?" her father asked, a little panicked by her empty plate. "There is more in the pot!" he dashed over to empty the food onto the plate. Ritsuka's eyes widened as she saw nothing leave the pot, her father's expression turning from panic to crazed.

"Dad it's okay! I'm full honest!" she tried to console him, rubbing her stomach animatedly, but failed miserably to persuade him.

"Where did it all go? I'm sure there was some left…" he spun round so fast that he almost knocked the table over. "Someone must have stolen it!" Ritsuka knew to pick her words wisely.

"Father, no one stole the food, it must have been finished by accident, but I'm full so I don't need anymore. Are you hungry?" engaging him in conversation was sometimes helpful since it took his mind off the situation at hand… sometimes. This unfortunately was not one of those times.

"Was it you? You seem like your hiding something… By accident!" he mocked "How dare you steel my food! I pay for this stuff and all I get in return is your thievery! I hate you! Why aren't you dead yet?!" her father's eyes turned cold and hard, a stuffy atmosphere descending on both of them.

"I… I'm sorry I won't do it again I promise!" Playing along was sometimes better than fighting him. The punishment was sometimes quicker and less painful.

"You promise do you? You said that last time, and here I am catching you stealing again! From your own father!" Ritsuka felt a sharp pain in her cheek as her father hit her, knocking her off her chair and onto the floor. The metallic taste of blood assaulted her mouth. "I hate you!" he screamed over and over as he pounded Ritsuka into the ground. "This punishment will remind you not to steal you filthy bitch!" Ritsuka couldn't hold back her tears anymore as she lay on the floor accepting his treatment.

_I know you love me, you're just sick… you don't hate me… you can't…This isn't right…I love you so god damn much! And I know you love me… you have to…_

A few more kicks and her father stopped, his hair hanging over his eyes again. He was shaking from his effort, his hands stinging from hitting his daughter so hard. His mind was racing, his heart pounding.

"Get out of my sight!" he screamed, throwing a chair against the wall, the wood shattering and splintering with a deafening crash.

Ritsuka didn't wait for him to ask her again as she ran the best she could to her room. She stumbled and fell a couple of times, but fear pushed her on. She slammed her door hard and leaned against it, listening for any sounds from her father's whereabouts. Her heart sank when she heard him crying.

_Father…_

As much as she hated being treated like this, she loved her father more. She couldn't leave him alone… who knows what would happen to him. And there was no way she would fight back. She just didn't have it in her… This love was what bound her to this fate.

And it wasn't fair.

A couple of hours passed and Ritsuka had bandaged up some of her wounds. She was now lying in her bed, fully aware that it was only seven o'clock at night. The more she slept, the less time she had to think about things.

She soon drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Ritsuka woke to her father pushing her lightly.

"Ritsuka honey I need you to wake up." Her fathers voice was so soft and caring, the one that lured Ritsuka into a false sense of security. "You awake?" Ritsuka nodded slowly, sleep still tugging at her. "Good. We need to get out of here." Ritsuka sat up quickly, sensing her surroundings for danger.

Nothing.

He started looking into the cupboards and drawers of her room, scrambling around as if looking for something.

"Father? What's wrong?" her father seemed to be looking around as if he was running or hiding from someone.

"Just sh!" he slapped his hand against her mouth, effectively quieting her. He then dragged her through to the living room. "You're limping." He merely stated as he pushed her through the door and quickly slammed it shut behind them.

The first thing she noticed was the fort made out of mattresses, couch cushions and pillows. Some food lay strewn around, and a wonky tent up, like he had tried to set up camp. Ritsuka felt herself physically slump.

"Father?" he silenced her again and pushed her under the fort.

"Wait here! You're hurt!" he ordered, fear and determination etched on his face. He then picked up the tent and tried to force it over the mattresses. It pained Ritsuka to see him so protective, and failing so miserably. So she left the fortress and helped her father. She didn't know what else to do really. When his mind was set… it was set.

"Get inside quick! They're almost here!" her father dived into the now sort of tented fortress beckoning her to follow. Ritsuka crawled in beside him, senses alert. This could go any way.

Her father was looking intently at Ritsuka, panic threatening to take control.

"What happened to your face? There's a bruise! Did they get to you before I could help you? I'm so sorry!" He began pulling at Ritsuka's T-shirt, begging her for forgiveness. Ritsuka had grown accustomed to her father's forgetfulness. It was strange how much he couldn't remember, and how she would always have to lie about her injuries, not just to the world, but to the very person who had created them.

"Don't worry, I fell at training today. Got a bit cocky was all!" she smiled heartily, sighing with relief as her father accepted the lie happily.

"Well you just be careful! Don't want you getting hurt now would I?" his laugh echoed softly in the makeshift fort. Ritsuka smiled, savouring the carefree moment. It was like everything was as it should be, even if it was just for a moment. He ruffled her hair affectionately. "I love you."

"Love you to." Ritsuka's shaky reply brought tears to her eyes.

Her father pulled out sleeping bags for both of them, and curled up into a ball, muttering now and then. None of it made sense of course, but Ritsuka would listen anyway, hoping that maybe one day, she could make sense of it all. She remained awake until her father started snoring happily, tossing slightly whenever he was having a nightmare. She watched him sadly, hoping that this would sort itself out soon, though she knew it would never be that easy.

_Father… what are you thinking? What happened that night, what made you like this? _

Ritsuka soon curled up into her own sleeping bag, not daring to move until she needed to. Her body was throbbing painfully with all the work she had been doing, and she could feel her ribs ache no matter what part of her body she lay on.

Ritsuka cursed to herself as she lay as comfortable as possible on the floor, the sounds of her father's struggle against his inner demons accompanying her to sleep.

**Herro again! Well now we can see just how far Ritsuka's father's mind has trully degraded. With the Chunin exams so close, how will Ritsuka pull through?**

**Thanks again everyone for reading, and please, let me know what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ritsuka made her way to training slowly the next morning. It was the 10th last day of training before the Chunin exams, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. She did love training since it was a good excuse to get out the house, and the constant learning that was required was enough to take her mind off things. Any spare time would be spent hidden away in a library, reading anything and everything or hanging out with Kakashi. But it was all going to come to and end far too soon.

As she approached her training area she noticed the group of her least favourite people in the world. There were five girls, all huddled up together muttering and twittering about pointless things. Ritsuka had a pretty good idea it was about her, but she ignored them, passing them swiftly.

"You'd think she'd maybe have a wash now and then, and what's with that hair cut." One of them sneered, sending the small group into fits of laughter. "And those creepy eyes! I Suppose that's what happens when your and inbreed!" Ritsuka felt a pang of hurt at their stupid comment, her hand finding its way to her long hair and her eyes closed tightly, as if hiding her shame. She knew that it meant nothing, that they were just winding her up, but she still felt self-conscious. If only they knew half the things they should...

She ran the best she could towards her team, annoyed she was late again. Kakashi gave his disapproving look but never said anything this time, making Ritsuka feel worse than usual. He somehow seemed more disappointed in her this time.

"What is wrong with your leg Ritsuka-chan? You're limping!" Gai had annoyingly asked what the rest of the group were all thinking.

"Uh... I um... was doing some training at home last night and screwed up badly with jumping into this tree… you know how it is..." she trailed off, hiding her leg by turning her body quickly. Kakashi seemed unconvinced, his sceptical glare almost dissecting her mind, but Gai sympathised, telling the team of this one time...

Minato sighed, moving the team onto some partnered sparring, knowing full well that Ritsuka had been lying. Her face seemed a little bruised, even if she did cover it with her hair. He would have to question her about it, but later. She probably would refuse talk with everyone around her.

After a couple of days, Ritsuka was practically back to normal, her aches and pains slowly but surely leaving her. Gai had been more than helpful in trying to bring her strength back to her, his encouraging speeches bringing inspiration to Ritsuka, a sigh to Minato and rage to Kakashi. Soon enough she was pretty much back to where they had reached, and with only a couple of days to go, they trained long and hard into some selected nights so as to make up for lost time.

Minato had taken Ritsuka aside a few times, just to make sure everything was going smoothly, and she repeatedly informed him that she couldn't be better.

"If you would ever like to talk about anything you know where I am?" he would always ask, making sure that he had drilled his support into her mind, but she would only nod and smile as if nothing had affected her. It would always stir a sense of pride and awe in Minato that she was coping and dealing so well, but worry always came strolling up afterwards. If only he could read minds…

The Chunnin exams came upon the team rather quickly, and Ritsuka was finally showing signs of failure in her resolve. Kakashi had been trying to be nicer to her, showing his support and even complimenting her style and moves if they had gone well. It had clearly shocked Ritsuka at first, flustering her thanks and blushing a lot. Even Gai had taken it upon himself to give her some friendly boyfriend advice, deciding that she was of age to date, and obviously her loneliness in the whole couple department was what had been bothering her. She had smiled politely as he talked, but deep down cringed at the idea.

There was only one boy she was interested in, and for him the feeling was obviously not mutual for sure.

The day finally came where Minato had accompanied them to the land of the sand village, and recited some last minute points that he thought were worth knowing for their first test, leaving them to enter the room to join teams of all ages, all with a common goal.

The first test had been quite challenging, but nothing that Ritsuka couldn't handle. She had been studying like mad, worried that she would have let her team down. With her mind clear, her thoughts were coming to her helpfully pulling her through the questions. She had glanced a couple of times to see Kakashi leaning poker straight against the back of his chair, fiddling with his pencil absent mindedly as he had no doubt finished his paper within the first ten minutes. Ritsuka smiled admiringly as she then turned to see Gai pulling slightly at his hair. He was more of the physical type, and remembering rules and protocol wasn't his best point. If he however had been put in the situation he would get all the answers right due to his finely tuned instinct. He just needed to visualise.

To their surprise the last question was not one they were expecting, obviously a challenge to test the strength of your team. When it had been asked, she had noticed Kakashi tensed as he stared hard at the back of Gai's head, panic evident in his eyes. Minato had not warned them of this.

But luckily for Gai, he did all the right things, and they were well on their way to challenge number two.

The second challenge didn't seem too hard, but half of the numbers would be put out of the exam. This bothered Ritsuka a little, but she quickly got over it. Their terrain had been the dessert, its many sand dunes and strange stone towers allowing cover for teams, but not much. There was obviously an added advantage to the sand people here.

The teams had to make it across the desserts with all their pieces of the puzzle in tact. These pieces were in scrolls which had been fixed so that they could only be opened at certain checkpoints. Each checkpoint opened and piece of the puzzle and a clue to the next checkpoint. Once all the checkpoints had been reached and all the pieces put together it would inform the team of their last location. The first four teams to make it made it to the last test. However, there was also a time limit on each checkpoint. Twelve hours was allotted to each one, meaning five days was the absolute longest time that could be spent on the test and it could be successfully completed. There was also the added danger of other teams sabotaging each other in an attempt to make it to the end before others. The order in which the checkpoints needed to be achieved was different for each, stopping one team abusing another.

Ritsuka, Kakashi and Gai headed out into the dessert alert and ready, Kakashi having already cracked the first clue. The terrain didn't offer much protection from the high winds that caused a lot of discomfort regarding sand, nor did it help to hide you from the other teams who were hell bent on destroying all possibilities of any other teams getting through.

It was tough, and its effects were already taking their tole on Ritsuka, who really couldn't handle the heat. Her vision grew blurry at times, and the rations contained no where near the amount of water she was craving. Kakashi was of course in charge of all of these things, making Ritsuka resent him a little when he denied her slurred requests. A few times she found herself clamping a hand over her mouth to stop herself screaming at him and giving their location away. He wasn't even nice about it.

The first couple of days seemed to go smoothly, well mission wise, with no other team in sight. Kakashi still remained extremely cautious and over protective of everything, though it was better to be safe than sorry. Gai had reminded the team regularly that they were making good time and that a rest wouldn't damage their chances too much, but cunning as a Kakashi was, he just challenged Gai to a race to the next check point, leaving Ritsuka in the dust of her teammates race. She often found herself feeling left behind, and her still recuperating body was dragging her down. Bones still hurt and rest was a real issue, especially in the heat. But she wouldn't show her lacking as she over pushed her body to its limits.

The fourth clue had proven to be rather tough. Kakashi had a couple of theories, but Ritsuka didn't agree pushing her argument forward. A heated discussion ensued, probably made worse by the blistering sun that hung in the sky. To the teams surprise it was in fact Gai who cracked it, his simple mind grabbing at the easiest answer, one that Kakashi and Ritsuka would never have thought of through their calculations and analysis of complicated ideas that didn't even exist.

And so the team set off again, a horrible tension forming between Kakashi and his teammates, embarrassment clearly evident. Ritsuka had merely laughed slapping Gai's shoulder affectionately and complimenting his mighty brain, which probably didn't help when it set him off on a dance and sing song about how he was better than Kakashi after all…

The heat didn't seem to let up as the day went on, but Ritsuka was looking forward to the night time. It was nice and cool then, the air still a bit humid, but nowhere near as bad as it was during the day. Though the night before had proved to be rather ruthless in its coldness. She had found herself snuggling next to Kakashi for body heat, and surprisingly he hadn't pushed her away. He had of course pushed Gai away rather violently, many threats being made. Poor Gai.

Kakashi froze and stopped the team as he tentatively sniffed the air around them. Ritsuka had always marvelled at his keen senses, but didn't have time to do so now. There was another team of three approaching fast, kunai out and ready. Kakashi signalled for set manoeuvres to be carried out and the three took position.

The other team stopped, a cocky grin on the face of its leader.

"What do we have here? Konoha scum I see…" Ritsuka almost laughed at the pathetic insult. _Konoha scum… surely they could have thought of better…_ But when Gai took offence and started insulting the group of their own village of the rocks, the leader's smirk increased. Ritsuka resisted the urge to shake her head at Gai. He was so vulnerable at times.

The group looked to be rather desperate, though the acted otherwise. Their rations looked like they were depleting much fast than theirs, and only two scrolls were visible on the smallest of the group's belt. If that was the case, that the only had two scrolls, then they had missed their checkpoints and thus their clues. Ritsuka didn't like the leader. His leer had something creepy about it, that made her feel like she was particularly at risk since she was a girl. She shuddered.

Kakashi remained un-phased by the whole thing, his bored expression clearly evident over his mask. The group all acted at once, and all at Ritsuka. They must have seen her as the weakness of the group, probably didn't help that she looked like crap. She readied herself as legs and arms came for her, her blocks and own attacks coming out nicely. Kakashi was by her side in a second, his help greatly appreciated. Gai had taken to coming from the other side, her team basically surrounding the group. Everyone scattered and took position.

Kakashi made some signals, and Ritsuka knew what to do. And with precise and brilliant ease, team Kakashi had knocked out there opponents with minimal damage. Gai had taken to doing his victory dance, but Kakashi merely threw the groups possessions far into the sands around, so as if they were to wake up they would be delayed by their search.

They came across a couple of more groups who seemed to be failing miserably, or were competing to get first. Ritsuka and her teams had sustained some injuries, and Ritsuka herself was feeling quite sorry for herself when they finally reached the last check point. Her body ached and she was craving water like no one's business. Kakashi seemed to be as quiet and unaffected as ever. Gai was animatedly kissing the solid ground that they were now standing on, his tears of joy only enraging Kakashi.

Now there was just the final test.

**Herro again! I plan on elaborating on the exam when i come back to it. Right now i seem to be running dry on the old inspiration... Vut i didn't want to keep people waiting for to long, and just kicking on to the good parts! XD**

**Well let me know what you think, please, it would be much appreciated.**

**Thanx again! XD**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Ritsuka was now eight. She didn't feel much older, or that different. Minato had apologised for Jiraiya, who had sent word that he wasn't going to make it back for a couple of weeks. Though he claimed to have the ultimate gift for her.

Gai had got her a huge bunch of flowers, which she thought was very touching. He had dropped them off at her house, which was even sweeter. Her father had put them in a nice vase for her, his smile growing as he added some water.

Minato had given her the day off training, and suggested that she spend it with Kakashi. Ritsuka had grown used to his constant pushing for the two to spend time together, but she was particularly happy to do so. And of course Kakashi had annoyingly made out that he was very busy and he would try and fit her in. Maybe.

Later that day, Kakashi was heading to Ritsuka's training area when he saw her talking to another boy. Something pushed itself up in Kakashi as he stopped dead in his tracks. Looking around, he noticed some bushes near by. Stealthily he made his way over, and crouched down, listening in to their conversation. A part of him wanted to leave since this was wrong and very un-shinobi like and the other was adamant that he was only doing this to protect her. He watched the boy reach a hand out and place a daisy in her hair.

"Son of a…" Kakashi whispered to himself. She was eight for cripes sake! He almost jumped up and knocked the boy out, but was stopped when he heard the boy talk.

"You're really pretty, and well… I was um… wondering… if you wanted to be my girlfriend?" Kakashi looked to see Ritsuka blushing hard as she tried to form a sentence. She really didn't want to hurt the boy, after going to such an effort, but she really liked Kakashi. It wouldn't have been fair on the boy if she had committed to him like that, even if Kakashi didn't feel the same for her. She felt her inner child sigh at her adult way of thinking. The boy must have thought she was a lot over since she had past the Chunin exams. Normally you had to be over twelve since that was the age of Genin.

"She's not interested, now get lost before I…" Kakashi had jumped from his spot and was currently standing between a bemused Ritsuka and the now very scared boy.

"Kakashi? Were you spying on me?" Kakashi didn't answer as he continued to glare at the boy, and sure enough, the boy left the area at great speed, probably to never talk to Ritsuka again. "Well?" Kakashi turned to see an unhappy looking Ritsuka.

"I wasn't spying, merely making sure he wasn't going to hurt you." Kakashi winced at the hurt that flickered in Ritsuka's eyes.

"You were spying. And not only that, you're lying to me about it." she sighed and put her hand to her face, frustrated. "What if I had wanted to be his girlfriend… did you ever think of that?" Kakashi's heart stopped. He hadn't even thought of that at all.

"Did you?" He asked. A pain formed itself in his chest as he thought about it. Why was he so upset about the prospect of Ritsuka being with a boy. It was bound to happen. It's not like he fancied her or anything. A blush crept onto his cheeks. He then scolded himself for his lack of control and on how he was having feelings for a girl.

"No… but what if I had? My chances would have been ruined. I don't butt into your life like that." Ritsuka smiled trying to lighten the mood. She never liked arguing with the young shinobi, he was always looking out for her, just didn't know how to do it like a normal human.

"I don't get asked out by girls." He countered, not seeming to get what Ritsuka was trying to explain to him.

"Never mind. So, did you want to see me?" Ritsuka walked over to her weapons pouch, picking it up and turning back to face Kakashi. He seemed to be having a battle in his own head. "Kakashi?" Her voice cut into his thoughts.

"Uh… lunch?" it had been a while since he had spent time with her, and he was missing her company. Plus, he had just been paid for his latest mission and had a strange urge to spoil the younger kinotchi. It was her birthday after all.

"Okay. Where do you want to go?" Kakashi suggested a place that he knew Ritsuka loved and the two disappeared off together.

Training went on as planned, with just Kakashi and Ritsuka working with Minato until Jiraiya came back. Gai had decided to join them for another couple of weeks, much to Kakashi's dislike. The day was going well, but not as swiftly as Ritsuka had hoped. Her father has lost his temper again, this time to do with the water in the shower suddenly gone cold. Apparently Ritsuka had the power to remove heat from the world.

Ritsuka's form was sloppy, causing her to get a burst lip from a rather shocked Kakashi. He had tried to apologise, but ended up giving her a lecture on her concentration, or lack of in this case. Minato had stepped in however, partnering Gai and Kakashi together and giving Ritsuka some repetitions to pass her time with.

By the end of the morning, Ritsuka was finding herself slowly drifting off to sleep on her feet. She was not the only one who had noticed, and a very worried Minato asked her to go home for some rest. This only caused Ritsuka to panic, pushing herself into another wave of energetic exercises. She refused to take a break, worried that if she stopped she wouldn't be able to get started again.

By mid afternoon her legs were beginning to fail her, causing her to jerk and stumble as her knees gave out. By this point Minato would not take no for an answer as he called off training for the rest of the afternoon and physically carried Ritsuka home over his shoulder.

On approaching Ritsuka's house, he noticed how the garden was very unkempt. He had heard talk of Ritsuka's father still being a little off since his last mission, and he is on leave, but he hadn't thought it had been that bad.

He knocked the door and was surprised at how quickly it had been answered. Ritsuka's father stood in the doorway, with nothing but a pair of boxers on, his hair strewn all over his face, sticking down in places where tears had been, and a stubbly beard growing in. The man smelled like he hadn't washed in a long time, his stance showing a desperate figure of a human.

"Ritsuka is a little unwell. She seems to be rather tired today so I brought her home early. Is everything alright?" the man seemed to wince at the question, looking through his hair at the sleeping child in Minato's arms.

"I'm so sorry! I'll take her to her bed straight away... yes sleep is what she needs... I hope they let her sleep..." Minato raised an eyebrow, not too sure who they were, but thought it not his place to ask. Maybe there were some family members home to help out?

"Well I can take her to her room if you like, since I already have her." Minato laughed, trying to catch the other man's attention. He was shocked to see a rather angry looking father, his stance now of a taller and more confident man, his eyes stern and cold.

"We don't need your help! We don't need anyone's help! I am a good father! I can protect her without help! I can! I can! I won't let her be taken! She is safe! They won't hurt her!!" The man then took Ritsuka rather roughly out of Minato's hands and clumsily slammed the door shut. Minato stood for a while, unsure of what to do. He should really report this to the Hokage, and with that, set off to explain Ritsuka's predicament. A lot of things seemed to click in his mind, his mood sinking as he thought of all the things that must have been happening, and what Ritsuka must have been going through.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ritsuka woke later in the night, her head thumping and her body aching. She really should have taken that rest. That was when she noticed that she was no longer outside on the grass, but in her bed. Her mind went frantic as she thought of how she had gotten here. Had Minato brought her home? Or Kakashi? Or had her father been called come and get her? Had they met her father? Hopefully her father hadn't said anything out of place or weird had he? Maybe he hadn't done anything. Maybe everything was fine…

Ritsuka got up from her bed, dread filling her mind. She had to find out what had happened. She quietly opened her door and limped slowly down the hallway. She approached the living area, hesitating for a moment. Her heart began to race as she heard her father speaking rather harshly.

"No! Leave me alone! I could never do that… I could never hurt her!" he was on his knees as if praying, his voice begging. "Please… It must have been someone else! I could never!" he began sobbing, his voice becoming horse. "But if I did hurt her… maybe I should kill her… then no one, including me, would ever hurt her… but then would I not be the one hurting her!"

Ritsuka breathed deeply, feeling her chest close in on her lungs. Her own father was talking about her! It couldn't be true… but the way he had been acting…

Ritsuka stepped back from the doorway, panic beginning to set in. She cursed under her breath as her foot caught on the hallway table, knocking a vase of dead flowers onto the floor.

_Shinobi my ass!_ She berated herself.

Silence fell on the house, then filled with the sound of her father's footsteps resonating at a deafening level. Ritsuka desperately tried to move, but her body refused to comply.

"You! How long have you been there!" her father demanded, his hand grasping hard onto the front of her t-shirt, lifting her to her tiptoes.

"I only just came… I was just-" Ritsuka was cut off as she felt her back hit against the wall.

"Did you hear what they were saying?" he waited a second for Ritsuka to answer, but she had no idea what he was talking about. There was no one else in the room. "Did you?!" he screamed, his temper exploding. This time he did not wait for an answer, throwing his daughter to the floor violently.

Ritsuka coughed, her body aching. She looked up at her father, hoping for some kind of reaction, but his hair hung over his eyes, darkening most of his face from sight.

"Father… please!" she begged, her defencelessness evident in her voice. "There is no one here… I only heard you…" Her father stopped, rage filling his body, causing it to shake violently.

"Not only did you eavesdrop, but you are a dirty liar!! If there is anything I hate more in the world, it's lies!!" Her father stamped hard on her frail body, all the anger that he had ever felt ebbing through his ministrations. He continued to beat upon Ritsuka, ignoring her gargled screams of pain and apology. All he could see was red as he kicked and punched, all he could her was every lie that he had ever been told as he threw and shoved.

The only reason that he eventually stopped his advance was because his daughter had stopped making any kind of noise at all. Only when her body lay limp and cold did he find his control return to him. The once strong and unstoppable force became the frail and tearful failure of a father. He dropped to his knees, begging for Ritsuka to make some noise, for the only person left in his world to show signs of life. But his wishes were left un-granted.

He had to save her.

Without another thought, he pulled the broken body of his daughter into his arms, holding her as close as possible without breaking her further. He hushed and soothed her, his voice cracking as he began to sing old lullabies that he once new. He ran out of the house, panic and fear driving him onwards. The only place he knew where he could go, where Ritsuka's life would be priority.

Minato walked around his flat feeling and little uneasy. The hokage had told him to keep an eye on Ritsuka, but not to interfere with her and her father's life. He would put forward his own investigation as an official "check-up on people who have lost loved ones" thing so that Ritsuka's father wouldn't get spooked.

But something told him that it just wasn't enough, the hokage wasn't taking him seriously enough. It was probably due to Ritsuka's father and the hokage being such close friends, maybe he was just too involved in the situation to make a clear choice… but none the less, the choice was still made and he could only do what was instructed.

Minato sat at his desk and began planning Monday's training. He sighed as he tried to think of what Ritsuka could do in her state, and began jotting some ideas down. He wasn't even half way through his list when he sensed two figures approaching his door. He got up to answer it before the knock came.

Minato's stomach lurched as he saw the bloodied mess of Ritsuka in her father's caring arms. Her father wouldn't meet his gaze, but he knew what he had to do.

"I'll take her to the hospital, she needs a doctor now." His calm voice soothed Ritsuka's father's thoughts. He didn't think twice before handing his daughter over. Minato was off like a shot, not paying any attention on whether his student's father was following.

He rushed through the doors of the hospital, his mind racing.

"I need a doctor now!" he found himself screaming, panic slowly bursting through. Her pulse was too low to sense and only his hope and belief that Ritsuka was strong enough to make it was helping him through this. A nurse ran from around her desk and shouted a couple of names out. Three people in white coats ran into the main entrance room and took Ritsuka carefully from Minato's arms. She was carried off with the three shouting for certain equipment and tests to be set up.

A few hours passed and Minato found himself unable to leave the hospital. He knew he should be meeting his team in an hour or so, but he just didn't feel like moving. The smell of Ritsuka's blood was still in the air, coming from his now dry clothes. He sighed as he rubbed his hand roughly through his hair, trying to rid his mind of the bad thoughts that continued to haunt him. Every second felt like an hour, every hour like a day.

After a few more minutes a rather flustered nurse came up the hallway. She spotted Minato immediately and walked towards him. He wasn't expecting great news looking at the nurse's face.

"I'm afraid we are still unsure if she is going to make it. She has had a blood transfusion and seems to be taking to it well, but her body is still largely damaged. Countless broken bones and damaged organs, including more fractures and dislocations. We are doing our best, but please know that it is still not certain that she will survive." The nurse ended her speech with a sigh of exhaustion. The team had obviously been working hard with Ritsuka, he could appreciate that, but Ritsuka had to survive.

"Can… can I see her?" The words didn't sound like they had left Minato. He hadn't spoken in so long that he wasn't sure he really had. But the nurse acknowledged his question.

"Not now. She is currently getting the last of her dislocations and broken bones reset. It shouldn't' take to long so maybe in an hour or so?" She seemed to perk up at the positive outcome.

Ritsuka would be fine. She had to be.

Minato nodded in acknowledgement and headed off to inform Kakashi and Gai of the current situation.

**Herro again! hope you're still enjoying the story!**

**Sorry this chapter is shorter than the rest, but it seemed like the most dramatic bit to stop it at, will she survive won't she? and all that cliffhanger jazz! XD**

**Well let me know how things are going, please, cause i don't seem to be getting much needed feed back.**

**Thanx again!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

A certain grey haired shinobi sat in the chair next to Ritsuka, arms folded and a scowl planted firmly on his face.

"Oh don't be like that. I'm sure you're not going to lose all the skills you have by missing one day of training. And we can work extra hard another day… well, you can." Minato rolled his eyes as he watched the sulking boy try to pretend he didn't care about Ritsuka's well being. A sigh escaped as he leant against the far wall, secretly doubting that she was going to make it. Apparently they had found that, including all her already discovered injuries, she has a collapsed lung, and her body isn't taking well to the medic-nin jutsus. Things seemed to be spiralling downwards. Poor girl. She would have made, correct that, she is a great shinobi.

Days went by, and still no sign of Ritsuka waking. Her father visited regularly, and sometimes stayed over to keep her company. He would talk about arrangements that he had made for her, like how he bought a new bed for her, some clothes, and even stocked his kitchen up with food she liked. He would also talk about a friend that might also be moving in, asking if she would mind much, but as expected, not getting an answer.

Minato had stayed to make sure her father didn't do anything, but the Hokage had assured him that things were different. Her father was attending counselling, and apparently was getting better with leaps and bounds. So eventually he had left her father to be alone with her, his mood remaining positive and lively.

Kakashi had of course objected to it all, having figured it out the moment he had heard the news. Minato had offered no lie to hide her father's misdeed to Kakashi, though he had kept quiet when others talked about it. No one needed to know the truth.

Hopes were beginning to wear thin as time went on. Even Kakashi had openly admitted he was worried.

It was the ninth day since Ritsuka had been brought to hospital. The sky was black, and the moon was full. The streets of Konoha were empty, and all that could be heard was the sound of the rain as it fell from the skies and beat hard on the ground.

The rain was making some racket as it bounced off the window of Ritsuka's hospital room. She lay in her bed feeling most frustrated. For days she had been desperately trying to communicate with the people that had visited her. Her body just wasn't responding. She had tried talking, twitching, moving any part of her body, but all was in vain. Even the idea of her will power giving her telepathic and telekinetic abilities if she tried hard enough had crossed her mind

She could hear every word clearly as people spoke. She enjoyed listening to their voices, grateful for the comfort they brought, but after a while, she was beginning to miss talking back. She wanted to assure everyone she would be fine, but she was beginning to doubt it herself. Was this what it feels like to be in a comma? She had heard so many horrific stories, she really hoped it wasn't.

The wind started to pick up as the night went on, and Ritsuka desperately tried to move. Every ounce of will power she had left, she mustered up, trying to throw herself off the bed. She concentrated hard on one place at a time, starting with her fingers. Even if she could just get one to move, she would be overjoyed.

After much concentration and hard work later, she was rewarded by her index finger lifting off the bed. She inwardly sighed with happiness as she tried to get the rest of them moving. It slowly became more and more easier as she went on, first her fingers, then she managed to move her hands, then arms and toes and feet and legs… soon she was able to sit up from the bed, though it was very clumsy and took a few frustrating tries.

Talking was still a problem, and her eyesight was incredibly blurred. As far as she could tell, no one was in the room. She sat still for a while as she got used to gravity pushing down on her shoulders again. She had been lying for way too long, and was now beginning to feel sick from dizziness.

Maybe it hadn't been such a great idea to sit up.

Once her body adjusted to the new position, she placed her foot gently on the floor. Pain shot up her body when she tried to put weight on it, and a small voice inside cursed and begged to be placed back to horizontal, but she continued to push herself. She placed her other foot on the ground and stood for a moment, waiting until the pain died down before she tried to walk. Unfortunately, the pain just seemed to get worse, and before she could sit back on the bed, her legs gave way in exhaustion, and she crashed down onto the floor.

Her energy seemed to leave her quickly, and she found herself unable to move again, the voice inside annoyingly reminding her that it was right after all. She just had to go that extra mile didn't she… she tried a few more times to lift herself back onto the bed, but found her body not cooperating again. So she spent the night lying uncomfortably on the floor, tears streaking her face.

The next morning, Kakashi made his usual 'before training visit'. Of course no one but the nurse knew about it. He slipped into the room quietly, totally unprepared for what he saw. His immediate thought was that she had been kidnapped in her sleep, but scrapped that when he saw the window was shut and locked. (He had personally made sure the night before). He noticed that the covers were half on the bed, as if she had fallen out, so he quickly ran round to the window side of the bed.

And sure enough, on the floor was a rather uncomfortable looking Rituska, fast asleep. Kakashi quickly picked her up best he could, and laid her clumsily back on her bed. She whimpered slightly when he tried to remove his arm that she was currently lying on.

"Ritsuka?! Are you awake? Can you hear me?!" Kakashi stopped what he was doing immediately, and stared hard at Ritsuka's face. Her eyes closed tight, and she nodded her head slightly, gasping in pain when she did so. "Don't move! I'll get a nurse." And with that, he pulled his arm out swiftly and headed out of the room.

He ran down the hall and grabbed the nearest nurse, dragging her rather roughly back to the room as he explained Ritsuka's condition. She checked the girl's vital signs, and then sent someone for the head doctor. Ritsuka had begun to breathe heavily, and her heart rate had risen quite a bit. Kakashi was feeling himself panic, but crushed it down when two doctors and the previous nurse entered the room.

"Kakashi-kun. Wait outside." The first doctor didn't even look at him as she started administering medic nin-jutsu. Kakashi did as he was instructed and waited outside.

Needless to say, Kakashi missed his training for that day.

Ritsuka sat in her bed, boredom tugging at her mind. She had assured doctor after doctor that she was ready to go home, but something about watching her vital signs and brain patterns was stopping her. She sighed long and hard, trying to fill the silence that clung to the room. The white walls were driving her to distraction and she often found herself pressed up against the window, cursing Kakashi for keeping the key. He knew her too well apparently.

Kakashi entered her room quietly, his eyebrows knitted in annoyance. There was a hint of a blush just creeping from under his mask which confused Ritsuka. And then all was clear.

"Ritsuka! My gawd! I just come back from an extremely long mission and I find my prized student is here!" Jiraiya's voice boomed through the room before he had even entered. Kakashi scowled slightly at the tall ninja, seeming to curse quietly under his breath. "And then I find this one sneaking about outside your room! Is there more to this tale than I have been informed?" Jiraiya winked suggestively and Ritsuka couldn't help but giggle at his flamboyancy. How she had missed the pervert.

"I'm so glad your back! And I'm fine honestly. Just a bit bashed around the corners is all!" Ritsuka giggled again at the relief that had come across her sensei's face. "And Kakashi has been keeping me company. Nothing else." Kakashi nodded his head in agreement, his blush finally beginning to recede slightly.

"I don't believe that for a second!" Jiraiya's voice once again boomed throughout the room, further removing the uncomfortable silence. He elbowed Kakashi hard as he winked again. "You dirty scamp!" He continued to harass Kakashi with a giant grin on his face, bringing with it the warmth that Ritsuka had missed so much. " Well anyhoo… I need to make this little meeting quick. Apparently being gone for months is not enough for the old gaffer. Now I have to do mission reports on paper and verbal! What is the world coming to… Maybe my doodles weren't making sense anymore." Jiraiya continued to analyse the Hokage's decision as he hugged Ritsuka softly and left the room, his cheery goodbye putting Ritsuka in an even better mood.

Kakashi had however stayed, causing a sigh of relief to leave Ritsuka. How she had missed his company.

"So how are you really feeling?" His question had startled Ritsuka, though she had no idea why. He seemed to read her like a book, and it was beginning to bug her a little.

"Really? I'm fine and I want to go home!" Ritsuka mock pouted as she pretended to throw a mini tantrum. This almost made Kakashi laugh. Almost.

"You know they just need to make sure you are okay. What if you were to leave and then take a turn for the worst, but there is no one there to help you this time, and your stranded in the forest, and you have forgotten the way home in your strange dilutions, that's because you have become very dehydrated due to the suddenly humid, hot air, and that's not all, you have to remember that out there in the world there are some nasty people, what if - " He cut himself off when he saw Ritsuka's incredulous face. Had he really taken it too far? "What?"

"I've just realised why your hair is grey." Kakashi could honestly say that was the most random and unexpected thing Ritsuka had ever said to him.

"I'm sorry?" he needed to double check that she had actually said it.

"You know what I said. You worry far too much, and over analyse, and stress yourself so much that you are already grey with worry." She nodded her head in agreement with herself, a smile tugging at her lips. Kakashi just looked at her dumfounded.

"I see… well now that that mystery has been solved…" Ritsuka giggled, annoyed that she couldn't keep her face straight. "I told your dad you were awake." Ritsuka stiffened at the mention of her father.

"Is he okay? I can't imagine he's coping well with me being in here. I mean he probably doesn't even know what happened…" her words stung as she spoke. How could he forget?

"Well, he knows what happened. And he 'says' he's sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" For the first time in a long while, Kakashi had shown raw emotion, and it pained Ritsuka. His eyes prickled at the corners as he felt rage and frustration, but most of all, hurt. Hurt that Ritsuka, the girl he cared far too much for couldn't talk to him. Hurt that she had lied all this time. Hurt that they both knew that he knew she was lying, but she still kept up the pretence. Hurt that she felt she couldn't trust him with something like this. Hurt that it was probably his own fault that she had decided not to tell him.

Ritsuka stared at her hands which had suddenly become very interesting indeed.

"It wasn't something I could have just come out and said. You would have told someone because it was protocol. I wanted to so much… but… you stick by the rules. And I wouldn't have you any other way. You would have done what was right in the situation, but not what had been right for my situation." Her words cut like a finely sharpened kunai. He was right. It was his own fault. He felt a pain in his chest that he knew all to well and was becoming very good at ignoring.

"I see." Was all he said before he sat on the bed dejectedly.

"Please understand that I wanted to so much. But it wasn't fair for me to put you in that situation. Made you choose between your beliefs and me." Kakashi felt himself snap.

"You would always be on top!! You would always be priority!!" Ritsuka pulled away, shock clearly evident in her face. Never had she heard Kakashi shout, and she was gutted that it had to be her he shouted at.

"I'm… sorry… I…" Her words were coming out in breaths as she felt her chest clamp down. Kakashi was by her side in a second.

"No. I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have shouted. I shouldn't have lost control." Each word he spoke grew harder and more fierce. Anger spiked in him as his mind raced, his ideals and feelings conflicting loudly. He had to get away.

And Ritsuka found herself suddenly alone in her white cell, her heart aching from a pain that could not be fixed by any jutsu or drug.

All that was left was the cold and suffocating silence.

**Herro! and wow number 11! so yeah now we start to see Kakashi's thoughts and feelings begin to show themselves properly. Shame that it's all blown up in their faces, but they are so young!**

**Well let me know what you think and i hope you've been enjoying everything so far! Thanks again! XD**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Ritsuka hadn't seen Kakashi in the last two days she had spent in the hospital. She was finally free from the dreaded claws of snobby nurses who held her back from leaving her prison. She sighed as she limped home with the aid of a pair of crutches. Her father should be home and she was looking forward to seeing him again. Though dread quickly filled her as she thought of what might happen. Minato had insisted on accompanying her, but had gotten caught up on some duties. Ritsuka needed to face her problem on her own anyway.

Ritsuka stood at her doorway preparing herself. Many deep breaths were taken and many calming words she had spoken to herself quietly. She opened the door of her house and stepped in. The smell of cleaning products and air fresheners hung in the air, though dust had already started to collect. The house looked unlived in. Ritsuka sensed her surroundings, looking for her father, but found nothing. So she did the good old fashioned hunt on foot, but still found nothing.

On the kitchen table Ritsuka found a note with her name on it. Shaky hands unfolded the paper. Her father's scrawl covered it and many tear blotches made it hard to follow:

_Dear Ritsuka._

_From the day you were born, I could not have been a more proud father. You were so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. And you have not disappointed me as you have grown. I can only apologise for not being there for you when you needed me most. There are so many things I wish I could tell you. So many ways I wish I could express myself. So many things I wish I could change and fix. _

_I know that the past while has not been easy for you, and it is mostly my fault. I should have been comforting you as you mourned over Sanosuke rather than losing my own mind to the point where I killed you. I can never forgive myself, and for that reason you will never see me again. _

_You have been so understanding up until this point, I only ask that you understand this one last thing. I am going on an adventure. Just going to walk and see where I end up. Nothing fancy. I have sorted out living arrangements and money for you so don't you worry. _

_But please, I beg of you, do not ever waste your time in coming after me. _

_And remember, I will always love you, and I can only hope that the feeling is mutual, even after all that has happened. _

_Good luck and goodbye_

Ritsuka put her hand to her mouth as she gasped for air. Tears were streaming down her face as she gripped her father's last words tightly. She felt her body lurch over as she grasped at her chest that was now so tight that she wasn't sure if it was to do with her damaged lung or solely with emotion.

She was alone.

Ritsuka spent the rest of her first day at home sitting in the kitchen reading over her father's letter. She had read it so many times that she could now recite it with ease. She had contemplated running after him, but knew that it would have been pointless. He had made his wishes very clear and she didn't want to disappoint him.

But still, she had to find him. What if he was hurt? He could hardly keep himself together never mind survive in a dangerous ninja world outside the walls of his home. She quickly made her decision and left for the forest. If he had run away, he would have done so secretly, avoiding all public paths and common ninja trails.

The grass crunched under her feet and crushes as she made her way through the foliage as quickly as possible. How long ago had he left? Where would he be by now? Where would he have gone once out of Konoha? So many questions and so little in the way of answers. Panic and fear pushed her on, her heart rate increasing dangerously high.

_Where are you?_

Meanwhile, a desperate figure pushed his way through the thick bracken of nearby raging river. Tears streaked his face and his hair clung to him, sobs racking his body painfully. He knew what he had to do, and he was ready. He came out to face the piercing light of the setting sun. His eyes glistened as he looked on upon the beauty before him.

The land dropped down a few paces in front of his feat, taking with it the ever flowing waterfall he had always loved, crashing down almost peacefully to the lands before it. Grassy planes, the colour of the most precious of jade, stretched far and wide. They harvested many fruits and crops that kept Konoha alive here, and many animals were brought here to graze on these luscious lands. The forests surrounded these plains, stretching far into the distance, a mixture of red, gold and brown tainting the leaves of the trees, the colours of fall, resonating in the sun, it stunning appearance almost a song. The mountains seemed so close in this perfect picture, there tall looming forms touched with the slightest speckles of snow on the summits, there presence more necessary in this scene than would ever be known.

He looked upon the scene, his heart swelling at the thought of there being such a beautiful end to his life, and with that, took his last step to join this almost fairytale like land forever.

Night drew in and a cold wind whipped at Ritsuka more fiercely than she thought was necessary. Her heart sank as she saw no clues or tracks that were going to help her with her search. Soon it would be to dark to find her way back, and Kakashi's crazy story might just come true. Desperation pulled at her as she tried to figure a way to fix everything.

She slumped against a nearby tree, her body reminding her that she needed rest. As she slid down, her mind went into a pit of despair causing tears to escape her again. She cursed herself as she wiped them away, her life seeming to be more trouble than it was worth. What had gone wrong, and did it have to be like this? If she had ever though that she would have to deal with such raw sorrow so much in her life she would have strangled herself with her own umbilical cord.

The strange thought almost brought rueful smile to her face.

She then found herself contemplating whether or not to find a certain Kakashi, but he had made it clear that he needed alone time. But if she showed him she needed him and trusted him then maybe things would patch up faster.

After fighting a little longer with herself she found her legs were taking things into their own control and making her way to Kakashi's usual places.

He wasn't at the training area though Gai was sure he had seen him disappear into the forest, and that he himself was looking for him. Apparently he had a question to ask.

He wasn't bugging Minato about when training was going to start back since the Chunnin exams were so close, and he wasn't lecturing Jiraiya about how perverted he was. He wasn't studying in the library and he wasn't in the scroll room. Ritsuka was running out of ideas and false pretence. She needed to cry and soon.

Kakashi kicked some loose stones into the river he was currently walking alongside. He felt his frustration slowly ebb as he thought of how to fix his current predicament. He hadn't meant to shout at Ritsuka, and he definitely hadn't meant to loose his control. It wasn't like him at all, and it was scary. Was Ritsuka going to be bringing this side of him out more often? Should he just avoid her altogether? What if he couldn't avoid her? A small voice in the back of his mind was screaming that it was impossible. And it was right.

Even if he never saw her again in person, he would always remember her, haunting him in his dreams and tugging at his memory when he was awake. He had a hard enough time concentrating as it was never mind never knowing if she was alright.

His frustration grew as he heard another voice in his head quietly sing song that he loved her.

His mind went into overdrive as he thought of whether she was okay or not. What if he had made her cry? What if she was all alone somewhere with no one to help her in her fragile state? What if Gai was helping her?! His mind went wild as he took off into the trees, all previous worries gone.

Ritsuka sat on top of the Hokage monument looking out into the sunset. Her tears glistened in the now fading light as she gripped her father's note in her pocket. She had looked high and low for Kakashi, but he was nowhere to be found. Her body slumped over from the effort of holding back her sobs.

The onslaught of grief that hit her when she let go was unimaginable. It seemed as though she had no one to turn to but herself, no one to go home to, no one to joke with. Jiraiya had quickly informed her of another mission he had to go on that was going to take another few months when she had asked if he had seen Kakashi. The war seemed to be raging on, setting up a future of more death for Ritsuka to handle.

The wind picked up its speed as the night sky drew in, bringing a cold snap to the air. What had happened? Everything her life once was didn't exist anymore. Her mother and brother were dead, her father had left and for all she knew was also dead, her best friend was avoiding her, and her sensei was on another mission. All she had was Minato really, and he was busy. She wiped her eyes furiously as she began to wonder when she had began to depend on others so much. Was this what her mother had been working to avoid by showing her no affection? Ritsuka wasn't sure if it really would have worked, but it sure did seem like a good idea all if a sudden.

More tears rolled down her face as she frantically tried to pull herself together. This wasn't right, it wasn't fair. She was too young to have to deal with all this, even if she was mentally a lot older than her age.

Kakashi stood nearby in the forest as he readied himself to approach Ritsuka. He had heard her mumbled questions as she cried and was really worrying that he wouldn't be able to make anything better. When he had heard her say his name, his heart pulled that way it did when Ritsuka hurt because of him. His hand absently gripped onto his t-shirt as he listened harder, trying to make out her mumbled sobs.

It wasn't until she had fallen over with exhaustion that Kakashi had emerged from his hiding spot. He was so sick of this mess that it had only enraged him. He approached Ritsuka quietly, lifting her into his arms and holding her as close to him as possible while he carried her home. Once tucked safely in her bed, he returned to his own flat to think long and hard into the night.

What should he do?

**Herro again! Ritsuka finally breaks down after about a years worth of trauma. And Kakashi being Kakashi merely pops her home and disappears to think. don't worry, soon all this mish mash will be over and we'll hit some real Naruto stroyline!**

**Thanks for being patient and hope your enjoying it! XD**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Jiraiya still hadn't returned from his mission with his team. The great war was apparently getting worse, and more people were dying unnecessarily. Ritsuka had wanted to help so very much, but even though she was a Chunin, Jiraiya had felt she wasn't ready to deal with mass death. She spent most of her time training Minato, until both Kakashi and herself were put into teams of Genin.

That meant that Ritsuka had a new sensei. She wasn't too keen on replacing Jiraiya with someone she didn't know, but she didn't really have much of a choice. She sighed heavily as she waited to find out who she was going to be spending her time with.

A tall lilac haired man stepped through the trees and into the clearing. It was like the perfect scene for a movie. His smile was mesmerising and his eyes dazzled her. He was much older than she was, meaning this must have been her sensei.

"Hello! You must be Kurosaki Ritsuka right? My name is Kensaki Shinzu. A pleasure to finally meet you!" he bowed slightly, his perfect smile still in place. Ritsuka flustered a little as she bowed in return, her face heating up dramatically. "I'm sure the boys will be here soon enough. How are you feeling this morning? It's a nice day isn't it?" He approached Ritsuka and sat next to her on the cool grass, his hair floating in the slight breeze. She vaguely wondered how smooth it must feel, and if she would ever get to touch it.

"I'm great!" Ritsuka chirped, tilting her head back to look into the brilliant blue sky. She couldn't have been better. Her sensei was so handsome! She would have to watch she didn't start drooling.

"Get out my way, I'm first!" The sound of two boys squabbling ruined Ritsuka's perfect moment, and she could tell it was going to be the case from now on. She much preferred one to ones. The boys stopped and stared hard at Ritsuka.

"Man! What age is she? She looks like she should be at the academy still!" one of the boys groaned, obviously very fussy. "How are we going to be the best with a kid in the group?" He continued to blabber on about how not even was she a kid, but a girl to. Ritsuka found herself severely hurt by the boy's words. He had no idea who she was or what she could do, so how could he possibly know her skills and capabilities. Her beautiful sensei put his hand up to silence the boy.

"Don't be so rude! She is ranked higher than you so get used to it." His teasing smile made Ritsuka blush again. She could get used to him sticking up for her, and smiling at her. Yes very much so. "Now Ritsuka." He smiled again as he extended his hand to the boy who had been talking. "This is Fugika Hikaru" and then he pointed to the other boy, who was staring at her intensely. "And this is Hitsuna Kentaro."

Kentaro smiled sweetly, his black hair matching his dark eyes. Ritsuka found him strangely alluring. His smile was sort of, hungry looking. Ritsuka was a little weirded out by the boy, but was sure it was just nerves. The other boy seemed to be pouting, feeling sorry for himself since he had to spend time with a girl who was only nine. Ritsuka was sure that things would work out, she just had to prove herself was all.

And so Ritsuka and her new team set out on a couple of training missions.

Kakashi sulked as he waited for Minato to return. Apparently because both he and Ritsuka had to gain experience with being in a group, they had somehow been separated. He wasn't happy about it one bit. Apparently Minato said that working with Ritsuka was different since Kakashi actually liked her. Said he needed to broaden his scope a little. This was all Gai's fault and he hated him for it.

Ritsuka would be training with her team, off doing missions and what not, during the week and would have the weekend off. The same as Kakashi. But he hated that he probably wouldn't get to see her much. Oh how he didn't want to work with people. He had done his Chunin exam, and Junins didn't usually work in teams, but apparently Minato feels that teamwork is essential. Especially if he wanted to join Anbu.

And so, Kakashi was introduced to his new teammates for the foreseeable future.

"Pleased to meet you!" the girl, Rin, had chirped. The boy however was already annoying Kakashi. Not only was he late, but he didn't even acknowledge Kakashi as he introduced himself to Rin. Didn't he know who Kakashi was?! Seriously…

Training with his team proved difficult, but not as bad as working with Gai, who had taken it upon himself to turn up now and then. Stupid boy! How Kakashi was beginning to hate his life.

Kakashi's main regret was not seeing Ritsuka. His life just seemed so… meaningless without her. She lived a couple of blocks away in the orphan residences that were reserved for people like him and her, but he just couldn't face the embarrassment of being caught going to her flat. She of course came round to his flat, saying she missed him and knew he must have missed her to. She was so sure of herself, even though she was right.

Life seemed to pass by, boring missions and even more boring teammates annoying him more and more. When he had finally become Jonin, he knew he was beginning to go places. He had a mission the day after, and he was looking forward to it. Minato had promised to let him be in charge, which was great! A team leader, that's what he was. Making decisions on his own, being in charge, and no one, not even Obito could ruin it for him.

And so Kakashi's unforgettable mission began.

Ritsuka had gotten the afternoon off after taking part in a serious mission. This one had finally got something to do with helping stop the war. They had been a distraction to allow teams of others to make there way through to their destinations. It had been hard, and they had been confronted by a lot of the enemy. But another team of the same age group had come to aid them, and they left with mostly minor injuries, though her team had sustained the most. Ritsuka had showered and bandaged up as she apprehensively got ready. Kakashi and his team had also gone out a couple of days before, and had still not returned.

A knock at her door had yanked her from her thoughts, excitement that maybe it was finally Kakashi popped into her mind. Her hopes were quickly crushed when she saw Kentaro standing in her doorway. A sling was a securing his arm tightly to his body. He looked fine though as he smiled happily at Ritsuka.

"I hear Kakashi hasn't returned and thought you might need some company." She had confided in him her worry of Kakashi during their mission that day, and was touched that he was trying to comfort her. She felt guilty that she had been so down trodden that it was him and not Kakashi. A fog seemed to fall on her mind as she tried to find the best way to say she just wanted to be alone for now.

"That would be great!" She beamed, feeling her worry fall from her slightly. She was so sure she was thinking something else, but had forgotten, she thought. Did she? Kentaro smiled and they left together to spend the remainder of their day in the sun, Ritsuka feeling a little confused.

Night had come in slowly, and there was still no sign of Kakashi and his team. Her worry was escalating, and she knew there was something wrong. She would give it another day before she panicked, another day before she set out and look for them herself. She knew she was being a little irrational, but she didn't care. She would jump off that bridge when she came to it.

Kakashi returned to Konoha with Rin and Minato that night. His eye was heavily bandaged, and his head ached. He was immediately admitted to the hospital, and grew very impatient as they poked and prodded at his eye. All he wanted to do was curl up in his lonely room and feel sorry for himself. The thought of Ritsuka had popped into his mind, but she was probably sleeping and he didn't want to bother her.

_A shinobi must be in control of there emotions… _

Obito's face popped into his head as he thought of the stupidity in his words. He was so selfish and rule bound that he had forgot what he was protecting. People. He had been protecting people. People with feelings and thoughts and urges, just like him. Just like him. He had been so stupid over the years, and it took his close friends death to make him realise it. The price had been costly, and all he wanted was to die. But he couldn't. He knew that Obito's sacrifice would have been a waste if he had. He touched his eye absently as he stared off at the far corner.

For the first time, he saw things from his father's point of view, and found his heart ached. All these years he had thought he had hated his father, been embarrassed and ashamed of him, but now he realised that Obito was right. He had been a hero, and everyone who thought otherwise were the ones who were wrong, heartless, like he had been. His mind buzzed as too many thoughts hit him at once. Why did he hurt so much?

The medic-nins had explained to him that he needed to keep his eyes covered. Since he didn't have Uchiha blood in him, his chakra would be depleting every time he looked through the Sharingan. That was why he had been feeling so drained. He had slipped his hitai-ate down to keep his eye from sight, the bandages still in place to help heal his deep gash.

Kakashi had dashed home before Minato had had a chance to properly talk to him, though he knew where he would end up, smiling as he held a still weeping Rin. Minato knew that Kakashi would visit Ritsuka in the end.

Kakashi stood outside Ritsuka's flat. His hand poised and ready to knock. A few minutes went by as he stood still, waiting for his confidence to push him forward. It did not come. He slumped down to the floor, leaning his back against her door, and cried. He cried hard. He even continued to cry when the door behind him opened, and hands pulled him into a tight hug. Apparently she had sensed his chakra moments before, and was waiting for him to come in. He didn't really pay much attention to what she was saying, just held at her arms so that she didn't stop hugging him. He didn't even care if someone saw him, though his pride tugged at him violently. He was so so tired. And so so lonely. He needed this. He needed Ritsuka. He clutched the goggles that Obito had once worn, and wished hard that everything was a lie, a dream.

But his wishes remained unheard.

**Herro everyone! So this is before and after the Gaiden special stroy. I didn't detail what happened on the actual mission because Kishimoto has already done that, and i didn't want to bore people.**

**So what do you guys think? I've not really been getting much feedback at all, so it would be really great if you could just let me know some of your thoughts on it? i'm open to any kind of chritisism (yes even about horrible spelling hehe) so please please please talk to me guys! I get lonely! XD**

**well hope you enjoyed it! **


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Kakashi woke the next morning with his head lying on Ritsuka's lap. She snored softly with her head hanging forward uncomfortably, her hair strewn over her face. Kakashi was confused. How had this happened? When did Ritsuka become his life line? He stared at her, his heart feeling heavy. He had lost so much in the last couple of days, but gained so much more. He had made so many realisations, and was undergoing a huge transformation, all thanks to one boy. He may have just improved his relationship with Ritsuka greatly, even in death. His eyes stung as he held back his sobs.

Dead.

It was strange. It had happened yesterday, yet it felt so far away, and fake, like a dream. Numb. That was what he was feeling now. Numb.

Ritsuka's brilliant eyes flickered open slowly, her location and situation dawning on her. She smiled softly, reassurance and company exuding from her. Kakashi held his breath as he looked away, unsure of what to do next. Ritsuka just rested her arm over his shoulder and tugged slightly, giving him a sympathetic hug. She didn't need to say anything, which was so great about her. She knew what to do. She knew what he needed.

The pair sat in silence for a while, Kakashi just laying still and disappearing into the comfort and safety Ritsuka offered. He dreaded the next few days, but somehow felt he could do it if Ritsuka was there. She sighed softly as she slid down a little in her couch, getting more comfortable. She didn't mind being a pillow for her close friend, in fact, she loved it. Loved how she could be there for him, that he had opened up to her and probably no one else. She felt guilty for being happy about it, like she was enjoying Kakashi's pain, but it was the complete opposite.

"Thank you." Kakashi had spoken so quietly that Ritsuka was unsure that he had even spoken at all. She smiled down at him reassuringly. "I didn't mean to be a burden." Kakashi was beginning to doubt that he should have come. He felt so raw and exposed that he had grown rather scared rather fast.

"No! Not at all! That's what friends are for is it not?" Ritsuka's words had more of an effect on Kakashi than she had realised. He felt his eyes sting again, though he refused to cry. Friend. He liked how it sounded. He hadn't realised that she truly felt that way about him, and it was touching.

"I guess yeah." He said after a long silence. Ritsuka started to run her fingers through his hair absently as she stared off into space. It was very smooth. She had expected it to be a lot more course, but no, very smooth. She was scared to look at Kakashi in case he didn't like it, and then she would have to stop, so the corner of her rather bare room would have to do. She really did have to decorate. "It's strange, to watch someone die." His words were meaningful, though a quiet hurt came from them.

"I would imagine. I can't say I understand fully though, since I haven't." she waited a moment, and when Kakashi didn't say anything, she continued. "I wouldn't mind if you would like to tell me, I'm sure it would help you a lot." She looked back at Kakashi, her hand resting on his shoulder again. Kakashi seemed to be thinking hard, and she didn't want to pressure him. "Or we could just leave it and wait 'til you feel better?" She laughed softly, lightening the mood.

"I found my dad, one night. He had stabbed himself with his own blade. I had been so horrible, everyone had said such nasty things about him. I was ashamed of him. He had rescued his teammates, but jeopardised his mission at the same time, so the shinobi community frowned upon him, and I joined them, thinking I was right. What a fool I've been…" He felt his body convulse, his confession bringing forth all the hurt and sadness he had suppressed for too long. Ritsuka sat quietly, not looking at Kakashi. She just looked straight in front. Kakashi couldn't read her, and it scared him. Did she hate him now? "I… Please don't hate me…" Ritsuka was caught off guard.

"What?! No of course not! It was what you believed! No one can fault you for that. But now you know, and now you're sorry, so it's all worked out in the end. I'm sure he's pleased to know." Ritsuka's smile was sad as she finally looked at Kakashi. He felt a deep awe for her, and he wanted to hug her, but stopped himself. This was bad enough. He slouched back down again, hiding his face against her leg. Boy he felt like shit.

"I never actually saw my dad die, but I found him. Lying on the floor. It was… strange. I felt so much at once, that I just… didn't feel anything. I tried to cry, but couldn't. I tried to tell sensei, but I couldn't. He would talk to me though, which helped. This is the first I've actually been able to talk about it." His body was shaking with the effort. "I miss him…" Kakashi voice broke as he spoke, silent tears dripping from his eyes. He pulled at Ritsuka's leg, holding her tightly. Birds chirped outside, completely oblivious to the heart wrenching moment happening in Ritsuka's flat. "I miss him so much…" he pulled tighter, his eyes closing harder. Ritsuka felt herself well up, his raw emotion to much for her, but she had to be strong. If he thought for a second she was getting upset, he might stop talking forever. "Obito gave me his eye, as my present for becoming a Jonin. I…" he wiped at his eye furiously, unable to reach the bandaged one. "I… his face, all crushed and bleeding, it's still in my mind, haunting me. I don't know if I'll ever forget. He's dead because of me…"

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm sure you're -"

"You weren't there!" Kakashi was sitting up now, his stare scaring Ritsuka.

_Just be cool, stay calm, he needs you._

Kakashi looked at his hands. He was on his knees now, his face strained.

"He pushed me out of the way. He saved me." Kakashi's voice was quiet, and pathetic, and Ritsuka hated it. She felt herself crumble, her eyes filling. She rubbed her eyes quickly while shifting her position to hide the action. She hugged Kakashi. She hugged him tightly, trying to remove all the pain he felt form him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry this happened, and I'm sorry I can't fix it." Ritsuka had promised herself not to say anything, but she couldn't help it. It was too hard, and to sore. She was to close to the situation.

"It's not your fault." He sighed as he pulled Ritsuka onto his lap so that their hug was more comfortable. The two sat quietly for the rest of the morning, Kakashi explaining what had happened in more detail.

Kakashi stared hard at the KIA monument. A service had been held in Obito's name, the speeches and flowers etc. were all very nice. But he had hated it all. Everyone cried, even Ritsuka who had come along. She hadn't really hung out much with Obito, but she liked him a lot. He was sure Obito had had a bit of a thing for her as well. Always talked about when she was older…

Kakashi thought back to all the times he had been so cruel to the boy. He hadn't even realised they were friends until it was much too late. Why had he been so stupid, so blind? A deep regret was crushing his chest, making it hard to breathe. A tear or two escaped him, but Ritsuka had taken his hand softly, assuring him that everything would be okay. He hoped very much that she was right

Minato smiled softly at the affection shared between Ritsuka and Kakashi. This experience would probably change Kakashi for the better, just a shame that it took something like his student to die. He was beginning to fully feel the effects of the war.

And so Obito was laid to rest.

**Heroo everyone! hope you are all still enjoying the ever growing story. so we're finally starting with the real Kishimoto version, so things are going to move on a bit. Sorry for all the skipping of the years and such that have been happening, and will continue to happen. i just don't want to bore everyone with random plot that has no meaning when Kakashi and Ritsuka aren't even together yet. but soon people!**

**After the next couple of chapter's it will be going back to my own stroy lines so bare with me! let me what you think so far please!!**

**well thank you for your time again, and hopefully i'll stop woffling! XD**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

A couple of years passed. Jiraiya had returned, but only for a brief time. He had spent most of his time catching up with Minato, Kakashi and Ritsuka, but soon left to look for his destiny. This was spurred on by Orochimaru's betrayal of Konoha when Minato had been picked to be Hokage rather than him. Jiraiya was going to stop him, apparently. He was passionate about it, and no one could dissuade him. Not even pretty little Ritsuka.

Minato had settled into his title quite nicely, enjoying the freedom it granted. He did miss partaking in the odd mission, but that was the price to pay. And the paper work!! He was not expecting that much, even though he had been warned. He was lucky to find anytime to return home to his girlfriend, who was now very far along in her pregnancy, but he managed, with her help of course. Things were going very well him.

Kakashi had moved onto working by himself, like he had always wanted. He was now part of Anbu, spending most of his time in dangerous S class missions. He was now an S-class Jonin at the age of 14, a first in Konoha.

Ritsuka was working away with her team, making good progress and getting closer to them. Kentaro had been particularly nice to her, encouraging her and complimenting her when she was feeling down. He seemed to know exactly what to say, and when.

She was also experiencing some serious changes, not just hormonally but physically as well. Her shape was gradually becoming more feminine, and her skills and strength were increasing. Her sensei had complimented her, making her blush and stutter profusely. He loved the reaction he got from her. She would mutter about him being mean, but he would just hug her, sending her into another wave of blushing.

Everything seemed to be going great. Until of course life stepped in one night…

Kakashi and Ritsuka sat patiently in the waiting room of the hospital. Minato's girlfriend had gone into labour and they had gone to a room for the delivery.

"So… He said they were calling it Naruto." Kakashi spoke up, the apprehension being too much.

"Him, Kakashi," she giggled "it's a boy." Kakashi nodded his head. A boy not a thing. He felt silly, he hadn't meant it.

"Yes that's what I meant." They sat in silence again. Kakashi had missed Ritsuka. They hadn't spoke in a while since he was just back from a month long mission. "How's things?" he turned to look at Ritsuka. She had changed a lot recently, and it definitely wasn't for the worse.

"Oh I'm okay. Just getting on with missions and training for the Jonin exams and all that. Shinzu has been really good, though he's always teasing me. I swear he knows he's too pretty." Kakashi felt himself surge with rage. Pretty? "But it's all in fun I guess, which is good" she smiled unaware of the sudden hatred Kakashi had for her sensei. He was going to have to make sure that she saw more of him than this Shinzu! He knew it wasn't going to happen but still… it was good to hope. "What about yourself? You're just back from a mission aren't you? How'd it go?" Ritsuka looked up, her perfect eyes shining in the light that was flickering annoyingly above them.

"T'was okay I guess. Spent most of it in hiding, but I got what I went for and everything is sorted. Can't go into specifics." That meant the mission was so top secret that he couldn't even tell Ritsuka, and she respected that. Though she was a little curious. "So your sensei, he giving you hassle?" Ritsuka choked back a laugh.

"No, no. He's just…. I don't know. He's so attractive, that sometimes I don't listen to him 'cause I'm too busy staring." She smiled sheepishly. Kakashi didn't say anything as he looked ahead. Attractive. He didn't like it. He would ask Minato when all this was over to change her sensei immediately. Attractive indeed!

"He shouldn't be abusing his power."

"Hatake. I think you're getting the wrong idea man. He hasn't done anything out of place." Kakashi still didn't like it. Best to move on.

Before he could change the subject, a rather flustered looking Minato walked into the waiting room. They both jumped to their feet, excited to hear the news, though excitement quickly turned to dread.

"There's been some complications. She's… bleeding out." Ritsuka gasped, having read something about it before. Kakashi looked unsure, but he could put two and two together. Minato sat and put his head in his hands. Ritsuka was by his side in seconds, reassuring her friend that everything was going to be okay. That the medic nins were famous for a reason. Tsunade's leave had however worried her a little. Stupid Orochimaru screwing everything up! Kakashi stood next to his sensei, words escaping him. What could he say?

They waited for a couple of hours, and still there had been no word. Minato had now taken to pacing, asking anyone who looked remotely like they were employed in the hospital what was going on. The colour was draining from his face, and his eyes remained troubled.

"Hokage-sama." A quiet voice of a nurse, her attire soaked with blood stood in the doorway with a bundle of blankets in her arms. Her eyes conveyed her deepest apologies. Apparently, even the best medic nins in the land couldn't fix everything. Minato took his gurgling child in his arms, his eyes swimming with tears of loss and pride.

"Naruto." He whispered softly. "Can I see her?" the nurse stared at the floor ahead, obviously distraught about the whole affair.

"You will rather you hadn't, Hokage-sama." She still didn't look straight at him.

"I would like to if you don't mind." He held his pain back from her so well, though you could see the raw wound playing in his mind, it's haunting already beginning. Minato left with his bundle of joy, a solemn emptiness following him.

Kakashi stared after his sensei, so many unspoken apologies and congratulations on his tongue. Ritsuka felt her heart ache. She had really grown to like Minato's girlfriend, her sweet smile and forever caring heart. She would be sorely missed.

Ritsuka and Kakashi met with Minato later in the night, still clutching onto his son. He confided his desperation with the whole situation, unsure what was to become of the mothering side of his child. He had fumbled and uncomfortably tried to cover Naruto's small form up tightly in his blankets, unpractised fingers getting all caught up. He had sighed a few times, despair and frustration setting in. Ritsuka watched silently as he struggled some more. He had made it quite that he didn't need her help and that he needed to get this worked out on his own. He had later, however, allowed Ritsuka to have a hold of Naruto, her eyes sparkling at the rare opportunity. She marvelled at his tiny features, and giggled as he yawned hugely. She put her finger in the little boy's hand, gasping as he grabbed her. His strength was something to marvel at.

Minato sat exhaustedly in his seat, letting his situation sink in. He was halfway through his mental planning of his sons next few years when some friends appeared. They had began shrieking excitedly at the sight of the bundle of joy in Ritsuka's arms, but soon gave their condolences once they had learned about the horrible turn of events. Congratulations were offered as they left, shaking his hand and offering their help. They even came over to Naruto, exclaiming at how much he looked like his father, even now, his head of blonde hair making him indistinguishable. Ritsuka had passed Naruto back to Minato, letting him marvel at his own work. His eyes softened immensely when he held his son tight. She would have loved this.

The trio returned to Minato's house early the next morning, Ritsuka and Kakashi to help out. Minato had insisted on taking his son home, using his powerful hokage status to help. He had Naruto's cot all set up anyway. A midwife would come round in the morning to help out with anything he or the baby needed, and the arrangements were made for other check-ups to be done within the next week.

Ritsuka set about making tea for them, trying her hardest to make Minato momentarily forget the awful truth, though she knew tea would not be all that successful. And sure enough, he had smiled and thanked her for her generosity, bit his eyes remained sad and remembering. Instead of sitting with the two males, she then started busying herself with heating up some of the milk that they were given before they left for Naruto. She was very excited about maybe having a shot of feeding him. She had never realised she had craved a child until now. She felt as if it was so simple, that she should want such a thing, and it also felt that it is what she had wanted all a long. That she had been born to birth many, many children. Her stomach pulled tightly, a deep sorrow filling her. She found herself longing for the day she would have children, noting that her imaginary kids all seemed to have a slight resemblance to a certain silver haired shinobi.

"Oh Ritsuka! You're a sweetheart so you are." Minato had chirped up at draining that last of his warm tea. He was obviously trying very hard not to let the loss of his wife get him down in front of the pair. Ritsuka felt that she should maybe go home, so he would have the time to grieve. Maybe forgetting about it wasn't the best for him, but she worried that he would feel alone. "That's hit the spot." He muttered after putting his cut down, admiring at how she always seemed to get it right.

"He's really beautiful." Ritsuka had longingly said, crouching over Naruto's cot. She reached in a tugged his blanket round him tighter, worried he might catch a chill. "Do you wish to be alone?" she was now staring at Minato, her ever thoughtful mind working overtime.

"In a while, I would appreciate some time to myself. But for now, I need your company." He was looking at Kakashi now, trying to read him. Kakashi remained quiet. He had no idea what to say. And Minato was happy that he had even bothered to openly show worry for his well being. "I'll be fine." He continued to ponder allowed his plans for Naruto, sighing now and then as he slowly became horizontal on his large, overly crowded with pillows, chair.

Kakashi and Ritsuka left a short while later. Ritsuka had asked if Kakashi had maybe wanted to come back to her flat for the night, since she had not seen him in so long, but he politely declined saying he had a mission report to hand in. Ritsuka pretended not to be stung by it, wishing him sweet dreams as she jumped onto the nearest roof, racing off home.

**Herro everyone! It's so good to see more and more people are reading! yey!! so yeah, the chapter! it's moving on with the stroyline, though im having to fill in the blanks a little. My inspiration for this bit seems to have run a little dry it would seem and i am very sorry indeed. but things should hopefully pick up soon as we head ever closer to the inevitable pairing! or will it? who knows!**

**well thanks again for reading, and please let me know how it's going. talk to me people! i don't mind if you don't like it, or you think there could be improvemnts! i want to hear what you have to share! XD so i can make my story better. even if you would like to talk about the weather? I'm not fussed! **

**but anyhoo! thanks again and i hope you enjoyed**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Ritsuka woke later that night to screams and shouts from neighbouring houses. She checked her clock, cursing when she realised she had only been asleep no more than two hours. She groggily pulled her covers back, stepping out onto the freezing flour, which assaulted her feet violently. She felt herself shiver as she padded around her room, locating her clothes. Once dressed, she opened her front door to see Kakashi running along the corridor.

"We have to evacuate the village. Sensei has given his orders that we are to help get everyone out of the village safely." Kakashi hurriedly explained as he dragged Ritsuka behind him, pushing her rather roughly in the direction of a group of bewildered orphans. She pieced herself together and began to shout out her commands. The group closest to her started helping her knock on the doors of her block, she rounded everyone she could find and had them headed out of the village and into specially built cabins for safe keeping. The group of children sniffled and called out to their friends, fear and panic passing through them in waves. Screams and shouts of pain were heard all around, and finally Ritsuka saw what the threat was.

In the distance, but not too far away, she could see a giant nine tailed fox, its temper and immense strength tearing up and destroying the land it was standing on. She could make out groups of ninja, doing their best to hold back the summon, but all looked as though it was in vain. Ritsuka's heart stung as she thought of the casualties and fatalities this night would bring. Her shots grew louder and more desperate, her control on her fast group of charge faltering only slightly. A small boy in front of her had taken to huddling against the wall of a house, and she had a hard time removing him from it.

By the time her group had reached the safety of the collection of trees that covered the stairways up along the Hokage monument and into the safe houses, Ritsuka could feel her voice going horse. Her desperation to get out into the action to help everyone was so powerful that she almost didn't bother to wait and make sure the last of her charge made it to the stairs. A few teenaged shinobi stood at stations on the stairs, directing everyone on where to go. Ritsuka took her chance then, and returned to the village.

"Ritsuka!" Kentaro's voice sounded across the streets, his own charge heading to the safe houses. "Be careful!" his heart felt warning touched Ritsuka dearly, as she bounded off, waving a hand of acknowledgement.

"You too friend!" she threw back at him, a cheeky smile playing on her lips. She hoped he would survive this night. As soon as she appeared in the centre of the village, she was stopped by some chunin that she couldn't remember the names of. They put her in charge of another escorting group, and her temper began to push at her violently. She could be of so much more use somewhere else! But despite her arguments, she knew that protecting the people of the village was the most important part of the whole affair, and she could help this way. And so Ritsuka returned with her next charge of scared villagers to the stairs, her heart reaching out to those she cared for, hoping that everyone would make it.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was experiencing the same problem. He had desperately tried to join the other junins, but Minato had made his orders clear that Kakashi was help as back up with the evacuation, and being as infamous as he was, was proving to be difficult to get by anyone. He had cursed and swore at people, feeling his skill and Sharingan would be immensely valuable. But orders were orders, and Kakashi was forced to obey.

The night dragged on, most of the village now a safe distance away. The summon was now at the outskirts of the village, many jonin now lying dead. Kakashi had met up with Ritsuka and the two were working much bigger groups in the hope that they could speed the process up. Minato had taken to the front line a few hours ago, and there was no word of his well being. They had passed Rin at one point, who was now heading into the heat of the battle to do some on sight medic ninjutsu. Kakashi had wished her good luck, but scowled jealously at her.

"I should be out there." He had told Ritsuka as they headed for the front of the village. "I would be so useful with my Sharingan. Sensei is too overprotective." Kakashi was now hitting random walls as the past houses, his frustration needing sated.

"He will have a reason for it. He knows the rules remember? You've probably taught him more about them than Jiraiya." Ritsuka had tried to joke, but the seriousness of the situation had her stopping. This was no time for laughing. Kakashi had "hmphed" in annoyance as he took to the roofs.

The nine tailed fox had now reached Konoha, its monstrous power reigning over the village. Groups of villagers were still being found here and there, their feeble attempts to hide breaking Ritsuka's patience a little. They were more likely to die in their homes than on the streets escaping the summon. She tore through another house, having sensed some movement in the far rooms. Of the bottom floor, she yanked at a couple and their two children, calling out instructions and shouting for help from fellow shinobi. She had finally found a use for her keen senses in all this mess. Three houses down she sensed another presence, this time being a boy on his own, having been home late and missing his parents as they were guided away to safety. The boy refused to admit that he had been crying, wiping away the tears that Ritsuka had decided not to mention. They boy could at least keep his pride intact as he ran out to meet one of the last groups.

Ritsuka located many hiding people, and was racing now as she was finding the last of the civilians. Kakashi had appeared next to her and nodded his head, signalling that it was time that they helped in the more immediate fight. Ritsuka bit back her fear as she raced after her silver haired friend, marvelling at his courage. He didn't even look like he was sweating or even worrying in the slightest, but she supposed Kakashi wouldn't be Kakashi if he did. Ritsuka could feel her stomach contort in anticipation, the smell of blood now assaulting her nose. Kakashi pushed on, passing the injured and dying on the tree tops above, almost at the front line. Ritsuka felt her heart skip a couple of beats as she looked at the carnage around her. Moaning shinobi, there clothes torn and body, their faces scrunched up in the most purest of agonies, screams of the dying… it was too much for her young mind to handle. She hadn't even killed anyone yet, and never taken part in the war. So this was her first of seeing people die, never mind mass genocide. Her stomach tensed as her body heaved, her hand covering her mouth until she was in the forest, her body hunched over and convulsing as she emptied her stomach on the cold, red grass. Her eyes streamed as she felt the acid sting her throat, a strange metallic taste in her mouth. She hated being sick. Hated it even more when she had nothing to drink of wipe her mouth with. She retched one last time before taking the hem of her t-shirt and wiping her face clean. She could smell her sick as it clung to her, only the stench of blood pushing through. She decided she much proffered the sick, since it was only her suffering, where as the blood was from a huge collective of fallen heroes.

Ritsuka jumped into the tree tops then, ignoring the bodies of fellow shinobi. She would have to pull herself together. Ritsuka concentrated on the sound of her shoe touching wood as she used it as leverage to soar through the air. She listened to the sounds of the summon reeking havoc, watched the sky and the trees in front, but never did she look down. She finally made it to the edge of the clearing that the nine tailed demon had managed to get to, only to gasp at even more bodies. She could feel her stomach contract and make her gag, but she had nothing left in her. Clear bile and saliva dripped from her mouth, her retching noises catching the attention of a shinobi nearby. He had come to her aid, patting her on the back, explaining that she should have left with the other chunin. She just groaned in annoyance, flailing her hand it him signalling she was okay. She wiped herself again, then placing her hand to her mouth, joined Kakashi as he made his way through the clearing.

Too many things happened at once for Ritsuka to follow. She had felt an arm snake around her, a strong grip and a solid chest coming in contact with her suddenly. It had almost knocked the wind out of her. She then heard her sensei's voice as he gasped in pain, telling her to go back. Suddenyl, a great blast from above had struck the ground, immediately killing ten to twenty shinobi. Ritsuka felt the ground fall beneath her feet, the shock wave hitting her and making her lung rattle so much it felt like they had touched. She wasn't even sure if hre heart was still beating. Her sensei was cursing as he wobbled back, his grip tightening on her waist. She tugged and pulled as he dragged her unwillingly back, noticing suddenly that she was covered in blood and her sensei limping.

"Shinzu sensei!" she screeched, "What the hell?" he had smiled softly at her, but then scowled.

"You'll die! Stop being so hot headed. I told Kentaro to watch you! When I get a hold of him…" he hissed in pain as he leant too much on his left leg, which was pouring with blood. That wasn't the only part of him bleeding. The side of his face was hidden by dried stains, mud and grass stuck in places, his left arm also looked a bit mangled, but he still managed to hold Ritsuka with it. His chest was a mess, his jumper ripped in several areas, and his stomach unseen for more blood.

"Let me get you to the medics." Ritsuka had managed to change places, she now cuddling her sensei and dragging him off to the lying corpses and screaming men. He had tried to fight back, but eventually slumped against her, his full wait catching her off guard. Ritsuka steadied herself, her mind racing. She could feel she had been cut by some debris, but there was no way that it was enough to make her bleed this much, and then it had dawned on her. This wasn't her blood at all. The shinobi in front of her had been practically detonated as if he were a bomb. She felt her crawl with the thought of his death, her mind almost fail at the thought of someone else's body parts stuck to her. She was never squeamish, but it had been someone's life, and that was what had upset her.

A medic had quickly relieved her of her duty, explaining that there was just such a shortage on medic staff. Ritsuka had felt her heart sink; knowing that she wanted to be up fighting with Kakashi, but instead feeling that she had to save those who had been hurt. And so Ritsuka appointed herself as the extractor, running back and forth from the front line to the medic camp to bring survivors in need of help to safety.

Kakashi had however made his way almost to the front, the blast having happened behind him. His heart raced as he felt the atmospheric panic, his own mind whirling to images of a dying Ritsuka. A quick glance behind showed a rather shocked but safe Ritsuka in the arms of her sensei. Maybe she could keep him after all. His mind returned to his missions and he pressed on, hoping his luck wouldn't run out. Kakashi set to using some powerful jutsu to help blind and knock back the huge beast. But all seemed to be in vain. He had heard that the ninth summon was the most powerful of them all, and the most destructive, which had proven to be quite true. As he began to strategise a new plan he caught a glimpse of his sensei standing on the top of a cliff edge near the beast. In his arms he held none other than his son, Naruto. Had he gone completely mad?!

Kakashi had rushed over to them, dreading and worrying that maybe he had lost his mind over his wife's death, the nine tail's attack being too much and pushing him over the edge. He hoped very much not.

By the time he had reach the bottom of the rocky cliff face, his eyes fixed on the death god currently standing with the hokage. Minato had smiled sadly in the moonlight, rubbing his nose caringly into Naruto's face, the small affection hurting Kakashi for some reason, as if he knew what was going to happen. The death god was only present for one reason.

Minato was quick with his work, placing Naruto in a small carry basket, his hands forming multiple hand seals at a speed that Kakashi had to use his Sharingan to follow. Before Kakashi would figure out the technique Minato had jumped from his perch and landed on the nine-tailed fox's head, chanting some strange text. The beast glowed in the night, its red and blue shine blinding everyone around. There was a flash of light, and he was gone. Kakashi searched wildly around him for any sign a Minato, knowing that it was useless. He could feel his hopes come crashing down around him as he ran desperately fast toward the mangled body of his sensei.

His Hokage.

His friend…

Kakashi pulled at his cloak to turn him on his back, swearing loudly as he shook his still form. But Minato remained to star into the sky unseeingly, the death god dissipating into the night.

The only time the death god would appear was when it was summoned with the promise of the user's life.

And Minato had saved his village, broke many hearts, and changed his son's life forever.

**Herro everyone!! so yes a very sad chapter indeed, trying to bulk out the tiny storyline of the kyubi and the making of naruto the jinchuriki (or however it's spelt). A little sad, and the next chapters aren't goingto get any better. **

**well let me know how im doing, if your enjoying, you thoughts and feedback are very valuable indeed!**

**well hope your still liking it XD **


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Kakashi sat in the Hokage's office, Minato's former office. He trailed is fingers absently on the smooth surface of the great wooden table, his mind barely working as he stared at the far wall, a picture of Minato smiling back, the way Kakashi wished he could remember him. An image of his mangled corpse, his empty unseeing eyes, and the haunting face of the death god pierced his brain, shattering the perfect smile. Kakashi felt a tear run down his cheek as he replayed his feeble attempts to wake his sensei, his unheard screams and shouts, his kicks and punches that he uncontrollably dealt his fellow shinobi. He screamed so loud and horse that he wasn't sure he could talk anymore. His hand played with the material of his mask and the skin on his neck as he thought of it, the heart wrenching moment that would never leave him. He shook his head, trying to rid the images from his mind, but it only seemed to skip the film, making it playback what he already just saw. His eyes stung as more tears left them, soaking his mask and making it feel extremely humid to breathe. He didn't really want to breathe to be honest.

The door of the room opened and closed, soft footfalls approaching him. He didn't even stir, didn't even turn to great the new, but old Hokage. The third sat in his old seat, a feeling of nostalgia taking over. He hadn't expected, as he supposed no one did, that Namikazi Minato's rein would be so short lived. He sighed heavily as grief took him, only despairing a little more at the state of the young jonin in front of him.

"Kakashi -" he honestly didn't know what to say. He had gone out in search for some good news for the boy, but only seemed to find worse. His last teammate Rin was currently in critical condition in the medic care, no time and space in the hospital for her to be placed. Medic-nins were doing what they could, but it seemed fruitless. "Ritsuka is still helping with the medic side of things, comforting and bandaging wounds. She is still near where the front line was, if you would like to see her. From what I hear she is doing very well, only minor injuries to herself." Kakashi nodded numbly. At least he wasn't completely alone.

"Where's Rin?" Kakashi looked up finely to see the thoughtful look on the third's face, and clicked. "Dead. I see."

"Not yet!" the third quickly piped in, trying to stop Kakashi's downward spiral. "Though she is in critical, there is still a chance." Kakashi slumped. This was too much for him. He had promised his friend Obito that he would protect Rin, and now look at things. He wished that he had gone with her, rather than to do some heroic magic! What could he have done? Nothing. He was weak, he needed to train. Better himself so he could save the people he loved.

"Thank you." Kakashi slid from his chair, his body slumping from the effort to fight gravity, to fight anything. Depression was going to be a thing of the future he felt.

"Kakashi?" the third called to him softly, and Kakashi stopped for a moment, taking the time to regain himself. "Go and see Ritsuka. She may not be physically harmed, but she was close to Minato too." The hokage smiled as he turned his chair to look out the window at the looming clouds. Rain was falling on the village; washing away the fear and desperation, the heroism and the sacrifice and leaving behind it only sorrow. The third felt a deep sadness fall on him as her heard his door click shut. Kakashi was going to need some major help. He turned to his desk again, writing the dreaded letter to Jiraiya, explaining the situation, and that Kakashi would need him now more than ever.

Kakashi walked slowly through the broken streets, ignoring the cries and screams from families who had lost a son or a daughter, maybe more than one. He held himself together with the last of his strength, begging his mind to forget, for his body to trip and something and give him selective amnesia. To only remember good things. His father and Obito hung in his mind, previous sorrow and self hatred appearing again. He had been doing so well recently.

Ritsuka huffed and puffed as she dragged still alive bodies back to the camp. Some of them she daren't touch in case she made them worse, only giving coordinates to medics who were walking past, informing them of their conditions. She had never felt so useless in her life. Everyone's begging eyes, their tearful confessions of people about to die. One man had grabbed her hand, and jonin that she had seen her sensei talk to a lot. He held her tightly, his eyes searching hers. And so she sat with him, his last few moments of life, and talked about his wife and newly born child and his 4 year old daughter. He gave her a pendant to return to them, telling her his name. She soothed him with calming words, ensuring that she would deliver his message. She had talked right until he had slipped away, sure that she had seen his spirit leave his body, his eyes going cloudy until his conscious switched off. Just like that.

She continued to look for survivors with a group of jonin, her heart tearing into pieces as she memorised the man's message. She had a very good memory for words. Impossible upon impossible survival case came in waves, her small body groaning from the weight she carried, and convulsing at the pain she watched. Her heart shredded again and again as she received messages for loved ones, trying desperately to hold onto them, begging them to stay alive, to stay with her. And again and again people left, their eyes glazing over, flickering closed, never to open again.

"Fuck!" she had began swearing openly now, not caring who heard or if it was ladylike. She pulled at her hair, her desperation for a happy ending disintegrating with each person she came across. She hated this. She hated this so much it hurt. She hated it so much that she found herself crying the whole time, her tears never seizing to fall.

Her heart leapt in her chest when she felt Kakashi's familiar chakra approach her, though she felt herself hurt more than she had all night at the look on his face, or what she could see of it. She wanted to run to him, hug him, tell him everything would get easier if not better. But she couldn't. she just stared.

Kakashi looked at his friend, noticing her fatigue, her blood stained clothes and skin, her hurt eyes. She stared back, knowing exactly how he felt, and for a second, he didn't feel alone. He grabbed at Ritsuka, pulling her toward him and hugged her, held her tight to prove to himself that she was real, and alive. He placed his ear to her chest, just under her neck, not even feeling strange when he had been so close to her. Her heart beat loudly, her veins pumping blood around her body, heating it and spreading oxygen to her organs. Her breath was unsteady, but she was breathing. That was all that mattered. Ritsuka shook from tears as she groped at Kakashi t-shirt, pulling him closer. He nuzzled her head as he stood uneasy and suddenly very conscious of the people around him. He blushed a little.

Ritsuka pulled back first, wiping her eyes furiously with the sleeve of her t-shirt, the only corner of her not covered in blood. Kakashi held himself back from pulling her back for another hug, only now fully appreciating the amount dying shinobi of the village surrounding them.

"I should get back to…" she trailed off not really knowing what she was doing. The medic-nin were busy doing their thing, and she had no idea what she could help with. She had done a lot of bandaging, and they were waiting for supplies to arrive. "Comfort the dying." She said, her voice sounding empty and quiet. He nodded slowly, feeling sorr for the eleven year old who was far to young for such a thing. She walked over to a crying man, a jonin Kakashi had been on a mission with, Jiduka. His legs were missing, and his arms were broken. He lay on the ground, jumpers and flack jackets being used to lift his head to comfortable height. It was just a matter of time before he died. The medics were good, but some things were just impossible. Kakashi watched as Ritsuka sat with him, talking and joking as if theyw ere somewhere else and he were unharmed. He thanked her for her time, wincing now and then as his body reminded him of his imminent death. He could only watch in awe as she brushed the hair from his face adoringly, as if they had been friends for years. She was exactly what Jiduka needed, what most of these shinobi needed.

Kakashi retreated to see if he could help elsewhere, knowing he couldn't handle the emotional despair of death any longer. He had found himself a use in helping those who had been fixed up home, to their families and friends, to their beds where they could rest and live for another day. He had spotted Kentaro in the distance, searching for something, probably Ritsuka. Kakashi didn't like him, was only nice to him because he was Ritsuka's teammate and somehow friend. Kentaro had annoyingly spotted him, rushing to him as he shouted over everyone obnoxiously;

"Where is she? Is she alive." Kakashi just nodded not really wanting to get into conversation with the strange overbearing boy. He followed him through the crowds asking more and more questions. "Is she hurt? I heard she went to the front line? And I'm sorry about your sensei, must be hard -" Kentaro stopped in his tracks as Kakashi rounded on him, fear streaking through him and the look on Kakashi's face. "sorry…" he muttered, feeling it was time to go. He would find Ritsuka on his own.

The next couple of days, Ritsuka spent relaying messages to families, handing over heirlooms, and helping more people in the hospital and its outdoor camps. She had gotten pretty crafty with the bandaging, and she was set to re-bandaging wounds. She talked a lot with the shinobi and odd civilian that she encountered, all of them commenting on her lack of sleep. Three days straight was really pushing it, she knew it, but she couldn't sleep. Not with so much going on that she could help with.

Later that day, Kakashi had shown up for the second time, his eyes impatient. Ritsuka could feel his lecture, its practised words waiting to hurt her. She smiled sheepishly at him when he had finally approached her.

"Ritsuka! You need to sleep, you're of no use to anyone if you're a zombie." Ritsuka smiled sweetly, trying to avoid his gaze by moving onto her next charge. He didn't say a word, fearing to be punched by the seething boy. Once she had finished with the mans arm, Kakashi forcefully pulled her away from the group. She felt herself panic a little when he didn't stop at the edge of the clearing and continued on into the forest. "Those people aren't the only ones who need you…" he turned away from her, his eyes red with earlier tears. Ritsuka felt awful. In avoiding her own pain she had left Kakashi with his. She felt her heart pang at the thought of Kakashi alone in his room, crying and wishing someone was there. He had only retired from his work last night, Kentaro telling her that he looked like death. A poor choice of words of course, but that was Kentaro for you.

"Kakashi, I'm so sorry! I've been so selfish…" she sat down on a rock nearby and patted the space beside her for him to sit on. He complied feeling stupid. He was so pathetic. And it hurt him. "So, how do you feel?" Ritsuka regretted the question when he looked at her, an incredulous expression upon it. She nodded slowly, unsure of what to do next. "He saved so many of us. If he hadn't so many more of us would have died, maybe the whole village. I… it doesn't make it better I know, but he didn't die for nothing. He died for what he believed in, died for us, for everyone." She stared in front of her, the grass blowing softly in the cool breeze. She wanted to imagine it was Minato helping her with her speech, but any soul that was taken by the death god was trapped forever in eternal torment. She shivered at the thought, relieved Kakashi couldn't read minds. That wouldn't have helped matters.

Kakashi sighed, wanting to see it the way Ritsuka saw it. It was just so heart wrenchingly tragic. He felt for Naruto. The third had told Kakashi that he wasn't to speak of what happened that night. Said that Naruto was to grow up not knowing who his father and mother were, not to know what had been sealed inside of him. Kakashi felt sick. The poor boy was probably going to get hell for it, and he wouldn't even know why.

"We have to keep Naruto a secret. No one is to know what happened, with the sealing, including Naruto. Not to know his father or mother. How shit is that." It seemed Kakashi had also taken swearing up. Ritsuka nodded numbly. He was to contain a monster without knowing it. Become a legacy of his own, without knowing his great history and background. He was a hero! "Are you going home soon?" Kakashi looked up again, and Ritsuka knew she had to say yes. Not just because he had asked her to as if his life depended on it, but also because she was in dire need of sleep, and having sat down for this long had made her body crave it. She nodded again.

Ritsuka went off to inform the medic who had taken to giving her orders and asking her favours that she needed some sleep, and the medic had agreed, having given the 'you need to sleep or you'll be useless' talk earlier. She smiled at her assuring her that everyone in the village would not suddenly die at her leaving, and if she wished she could return when she had slept. Ritsuka laughed embarrassedly.

She returned with Kakashi, who seemed to seem a little less tense at the thought of Ritsuka staying with him for the night. And so Kakashi pulled Ritsuka to his bed, and cuddled into her, his body shaking with the effort not to cry. Ritsuka felt herself dissolve, his warm arms bringing to her a comfort that had her heart opening and flooding from her eyes. She hiccoughed and chocked on her sobs, her gurgled words not making any sense as she tried to pieced together the last couple of days. Kakashi just held her, feeling lighter as his loneliness subsided, only to be filled with a sense of purpose. He needed to grow stronger so that he could look after Ritsuka, and Rin, if she made it. He pulled tighter at his friend, his t-shirt sticking to him with her tears. He played with her hair as she started to calm down, feeling guilty when he had noticed the matted, tuggy mess he had created.

And Kakashi's resolve set in. he would ask to go with Jiraiya on one of his great journeys to be trained. Trained to be like his sensei, if not greater. He would return one day, a protector and a famous shinobi through out the land, and Ritsuka would be safe. He would make damn sure of it.

And so Kakashi left within the next couple of years, pained after the death of Rin. Jiraiya had promised to make him as brilliant as he could. Kakashi felt a twinge of guilt that he had left only a simple letter telling Ritsuka of his plan. He had hoped that she wouldn't hate for not being able to stand a long winded tearful goodbye.

Kakashi would return better than Ritsuka could ever imagine

**Herro everyone! well i hope you liekd this one. it was a rather challenging one to do to fully get the feelings explained right... i was never really good at english XD And it does seem a bit rushed at the end now that i see it... but it's so it doesnt get boring with useless non plot related fillers... and we know how everyone hates fillers. XD!**

**so yes the next few chapters are going to get a little buit disturbing. so i warn you now, and will probably warn you again at the begingin of each chapter. sorry if i upset anyone though im sure you'll all be fine!**

**thanks for reading, and please leave some feedback! that would be awsomes! XD**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Kakashi had been gone for a few years now. Ritsuka had been devastated at first, throwing his letter repeatedly on the floor as she cursed and swore, and of course cried. He was due to be coming back with Jiraiya soon, or so the Hokage had informed her. Stupid Kakashi. He hadn't even contacted her at all in the last two agonisingly lonely years. jiraiya's random letters, and the hokage's now and again reports, talking as if she cared about what was happening. She tried to pretend she didn't care, but she was only lying to herself.

Kentaro had been keeping her company a lot recently and she was desperately trying to concentrate on what he was saying at that precise moment. Ritsuka was almost sixteen now. She had grown so much since Kakashi had left, her sensei constantly reminding her that he will be gutted when he saw what a fine girl she had turned into. She doubted it, but who knows what that boy was thinking. Proabaly not many people, including stupid Kakashi... Stupid, stupid Kakashi! She huffed in annoyance.

"Ritsuka? Do you still miss him? Kakashi?" Kentaro broke her thoughts. Oh hell what had he been yapping on about. Guilt welled up inside as she tried to collect herself from her inner downward spiral.

"Of course I do." She didn't really feel like talking about it. But Kentaro seemed rather interested in her relationship with Kakashi. Correction: Stupid, stupid Kakashi!

"Why? I mean, he left you did he not?" Kentaro wasn't one for sugar coating things, Ritsuka was constantly being reminded. She felt her heart flutter as her lungs constricted on her a little, making her almost double over in imaginary pain.

"I don't really want to talk about it." She found herself saying that a lot. Especially with Kentaro. He cared to much, she had told herself constantly. He's not nosy, just cares.

"No. I want to know." He was being persistent today. Okay maybe a little nosy. Stupid, stupid Kakashi! this was all his fault. She refrained from throwing a tantrum.

"Kentaro, please… I kinda just want to enjoy my day before we have to get back to missions. Don't you? I've been so busy with medic training and actual training that I'm so tired these days. I hardly get time to myself." She got up from the grassy hill they were sitting on and made her way back to the busy streets, but before she could even take one step, a hand gripped her shoulder stopping her.

"I have been so patient. Don't I deserve a little explanation as to why he makes you so sad? Why you let him bring you down?" Kentaro was seventeen now, and had grown rather protective of her. Though she was beginning to feel suffocated ever since he found out Kakashi was coming back. he had grown so aggressive after finding out the news as well, his protection seeming to turn rather violent at times. It was beginning to confuse and scare her.

"I'm sorry that's how you feel but I just don't wanna think about it, never mind talk about it." She had hoped that that would have settled it, but if she knew Kentaro…

"Fine whatever! I understand." He was so huffy. Kakashi was such a touchy subject for him and she couldn't understand why. "I didn't want to have to do this," he seemed to be talking to himself now. Ritsuka was a little put out. His hands flew together and a blur, his voice changing into a strange melody as he spoke. "Tell me why you still care for Kakashi." Ritsuka fought with a strange emptiness that was currently filling her mind. Where was she again? The sound of her own voice shocked her.

"I love him." Was her quick and 'matter of fact' response. "I always have and probably always will." A strange feeling was still pulling at Ritsuka, like she shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be talking about it. About what? What was she talking about again? Ritsuka's body fell numb, fear soaring through her, though it left as quickly as it had come. Was it fear? She couldn't remember...

"Kakashi told me before he left that he hated you. How does that make you feel? It makes you feel unwanted and lonely. You hate Kakashi!" Kentaro's words were harsh, her mind aching at the thought of them. They were wrong, they had to be. Kakashi couldn't hate her could he? What had he done again? Ritsuka felt dread seep into her mind as she tried to remember what had happened. Was it even anyting to do with Kakashi? But even then, could she ever hate Kakashi? One thought stood clear in her mind amongst the blurred images and reason.

"I could never hate Kakashi, even if he did hate me." Kentaro stood still, his eyes wide with shock, and a sort of amusement. This was knew, he thought.

"Ritsuka, touch your nose." She complied wordlessly. "Ritsuka, jump three times, hop and tell me you love me." She complied again, though her confession of love didn't seem the same as her confession of love for Kakashi. Kentaro's temper broke somewhat, his face contorting in anger. "Kiss me!" he almost shouted, and Ritsuka hesitated for a moment. This didn't feel right, but something inside Ritsuka pushed her on, encouraging her to do what she knew she didn't want to do. "Kiss me now!" he exclaimed, frustration evident in his voice. Ritsuka felt a strange sensation as if she had been physically forced to lean in, and she kissed Kentaro. It felt strange, since she had never done such a thing… had she? She couldn't remember anymore. Kentaro's hands grew impatient as he tugged and pulled at her, forcing her lips to dance with his. Ritsuka struggled against the strange compulsion, her head hurting more as she did so. Kentaro eventually let go, his own breath coming in pants. He blushed slightly and spoke softly. "Forget this happened." And before Ritsuka had registered what he had said, she had forgotten completely that he had been talking.

"What just…" Ritsuka struggled for the words.

"Are you okay? You kind of… drifted off." Kentaro had his hand on her chin, forcing her to look at him. She felt strange, like she should be doing something right now, but what?

"I feel fine… just a little… foggy." Ritsuka stared off into the trees, her memory failing her. Maybe it was the heat. Or all this Kakashi talk.

The night finally came when Kakashi and Jiraiya returned. Jiraiya had sought her out immediately, his animated self bouncing all over the place. He had missed Ritsuka so much that he even stayed at her house overnight. He spoke a lot of Kakashi, and how much he had matured, and how he'd grown rather handsome. Ritsuka had just nodded. She tried not to let things affect her, tried to ignore his name when people spoke it, but it was too hard. Jiraiya seemed to notice.

"He missed you, y'know. At first he never spoke about it, but he soon started to open up a little, though I don't think he realised he was doing it. You should give him a chance. He's just been a little screwed up." Jiraiya smiled reassuringly.

"And I haven't?" Ritsuka could feel herself being bitchy, but she didn't care. Sometimes, it was a woman's right to go off on one. No wait, a human's right.

"I didn't say you haven't, I was just trying to explain Kakashi's side. Hm… I've never seen you like this." He sat in thought, cross legged on Ritsuka's couch. She was busy fixing them some tea.

"You _have_ been gone an _awful_ lot." Ritsuka seemed to be on some kind of emotional roll here.

"You're right." He sighed resting his head back. "And I'm sorry. I've had… things to do." Ritsuka snorted. She hadn't felt so passionate and raw as she felt right now in a long time. Her body shook from the effort of containing all these emotions, with no one to confide in but her busy sensei, who probably didn't give a shit. Oh how life had been slowly feeling more and more pointless. She was tired of understanding, tired of being left behind. Jiraiya flinched when she slammed a cup on her worktop. He sighed softly. He had missed her growing up, missed so much of her changing life. Shinzu had explained her remarkable changes, and he was proud that she had gained the rank of Jonin. But he had missed it all.

"It's okay." She sighed, her frustration fading. "I understand. You want to bring your friend back, even though he's completely evil and a total shit head, because you don't believe he is. You believe he still has a good side, and you don't want to let that go. I understand. I'm just being selfish. I'd probably do the same in your situation..." She yelped and let rip an onslaught of swearing as she burned her finger on the hot cups, and put it in her mouth to cool. Jiraiya had really missed her, and strangely loved this new fiery side to her. Swearing suited her, her colourful take on it being more than hilarious.

"Did I ever tell you that you were one of a kind?" Ritsuka smiled slightly, and shook her head. "Well you are! Come here." He gestured for her to go over and give him a hug. "I need to check if everything's in the right place." He winked and gestured again. Ritsuka giggled at his perverted remarks as she sat down next to him and complied, informing her old sensei that if he felt her up he would die, with more of her delicious swears colouring her sentences. He really, really had missed her.

Meanwhile, Kakashi sat in his old flat, feeling loneliness set in. Ritsuka was only a couple of blocks away, and he couldn't make the journey. He had been looking forward to seeing her again, but when Kentaro had approached him and told him that Ritsuka hated him, well, he just couldn't face her. He couldn't help but feel he deserved it though. He puzzled over his meeting with Kentaro, unsure on what actually transpired, only knew how Ritsuka felt in the end. He had truly crushed her. So Kakashi spent his first night back, alone and sulking.

The next day Ritsuka was meandering through the crowd of the busy streets of Konoha, looking out for food for the day. When a certain silver haired shinobi stepped out in front of her, his nose in a brightly coloured book, her heart skipped. He was a bit taller, and his lanky frame had filled out with muscle, making him into the surprisingly lean and sexy way he was now. His hair was a little longer, and more unruly, a bored expression in place. This was so unfair. She stopped in her tacks, hoping he might notice her. And sure enough he stopped mid step, his eye wide.

"Hatake!" she had wanted to say something more meaningful, but his name would have to do since her throat had just closed up, her heart thumping painfully.

Kakashi stared hard at Ritsuka. And in a panic, vanished.

Kentaro appeared around the corner, a smile on his face.

"He's just an ass." Was all he said before he led Ritsuka away. She was in too much of a confusion to figure out what was going on. Kentaro spoke his strange words again, Ritsuka believing all the horrible things that Kakashi had told him. Her heart was too frail for all this.

This was normally how their meeting went for the next couple of months, Ritsuka trying to talk to him, though for the life of her she didn't know why she bothered since Kakashi kept excusing himself or just outright leaving without a word. Her resolve was beginning to fade the more she talked with Kentaro. Had she talked with him? She was sure she had, but she could never remember what was said. It was a strange thing. Maybe she was loosing it. Too much stress was a good guess as to what was going on. Stupid Kakashi.

Kentaro had taken to following Ritsuka almost everywhere she went. At first she grew rather frustrated, but then she couldn't remember what went on. Had he been there? What was wrong with her? Ritsuka talked a little with Jiraiya when he popped round to see her, his eyes awake with wonder.

"It does sound like your losing your marbles, but you're not the first to talk to me about this. Kakashi seems to be experiencing the same." Jiraiya immediately wished he could take back his words. Ritsuka's face dropped dramatically, so much pain and hurt in her eyes that Jiraiya wanted nothing more than to smash the teenagers' heads together. "Can you tell me when it happens?" Ritsuka tried hard, but she really couldn't. She shook her head, uselessness creeping into her mind. She was feeling so shitty recently.

"I can't even remember when I forget things, if you know what I mean, I forget that I forget. It's so strange, like my mind just fills with… nothing." She sighed as she realised how silly she must sound. "Never mind, it's maybe just stress. I've been working hard so…" Jiraiya let the topic lie, though he was not entirely convinced all was well.

**herro everyone and thank you to NekoKittenM and Kuarahy for taking the time and reviewing XD! Yey! so the next couple of chapters readers might find a little disturbing, some gore that people might not like to much, but bare with me! it works for the character, developing his madness and all that.**

**So thanks everyone again for reading and hope you enjoyed XD**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Kakashi sat in his quiet flat, a feeling of unease sitting in him. He had been trying desperately to understand what had been happening to him. He knew he should know the answer by now, but all that came to him was Kentaro. But how on earth did he have such an effect on his mind? And Ritsuka's? Jiraiya had informed Kakashi that he was not alone, and it had scared him. Something was going on, and he was so sure that Kentaro was behind it all, whether it was logic or jealousy that had brought him to the conclusion was irrelevant.

Kakashi was growing tired of this stupid boy taking his place. He had almost killed him when he had kissed Ritsuka, but stopped when he saw how passionately she had returned it. He hadn't expected that. All this time he had been saving himself for her, a stupid fantasy he realised now that she would maybe have done the same, and for all he knew, she could have gone further than her age allowed her. A deep rage bubbled dangerously in him as he thought of the prospect of her being treated in such a personal manor at such a young age. By law, 16 was the age, and if Kentaro had done such an indecency, he would have to kill him. A little harsh, but he didn't care. No one was allowed to be like that with her, nevermind if she was underage...

Kakashi began to plot Kentaro's demise when said boy and Ritsuka walked by him. She was completely oblivious to him sitting on the roof above, which was strange. She was always able to tell where he was. He listened carefully, despite his etiquette and manors screaming inside of him.

"Ritsuka, take my hand." Kakashi watched as Ritsuka complied to the basterd's wishes, annoyed that she would even do such a thing, and that was when he noticed it. Ritsuka was fighting it. Her hand shook and she hesitated, her eyes clearing and fogging over again as Kentaro spoke. He knew it! "Kiss me!" Kentaro had said rather harshly, and Ritsuka again complied, though her eyes fought with the emptiness as Kentaro's hands began to roam where they shouldn't. Kakashi was a bout to kick the crap out of him when Ritsuka's sensei, Shinzu, appeared. He didn't seem too pleased with the scene though he didn't mention it.

"We go on a mission in an hour, pack your things and get ready. We will be heading to the snow country, so bring your coats." He watched Ritsuka look around herself bewildered. "Ritsuka? Whatever has been the matter with you recently? You're all over the shop." Shinzu had a playful tone in his voice, though his eyes were serious.

"I thought I knew… but I seem to have forgotten. I'm so clumsy sensei, I fear I won't be much use on this mission." Kentaro's eyes snapped to hers, fear evident. Shinzu laughed softly.

"Don't be so silly girl! I couldn't imagine a mission without you!" his smile relaxed Ritsuka, but Kakashi grew annoyed. Didn't he know what was going on in his own team?! "Now run along, we don't have much time." Kentaro ran after Ritsuka, his hand searching for hers. "Are you going to stay up there all day Kakashi? Or shall we talk?" Maybe Shinzu wasn't so oblivious after all. Kakashi jumped gracefully from his hiding spot, not too surprised he had been found. He wasn't trying too hard to be undetectable.

"So you see it to?" Kakashi tried not to be rude, but he was to angry right now. Shinzu nodded.

"It's just not right. One minute she's got no interest sexually towards Kentaro, next he's having to pull her off himself like she has taken leave of her senses compleely. i know she isn't interested in him, she has actually told me. I just don't understand it." He looked pensive for a moment as he studied Kakashi's face. "Any ideas how he does it?" Kakashi mirrored Shinzu's thinking pose absently as he spoke.

"It seems to be his words, or his voice. It's like he makes you believe what he says by merely saying it. I can't remember what he has said to me, only that the end result is not what I had first thought. For a while I was believing it like it was I who had come to the conclusion, but now I see it's what he wanted me to believe." Shinzu almost laughed.

"You really live up to your name Kakashi. I have been dealing with this team for a couple of years now, and you have cracked a problem in it in just a few days. I envy your brain." Shinzu resisted the urge to ruffle his hair. He was ranked higher than him even though he was younger. "We shall sort this when I return, and I will keep an eye out for your speculations, though I doubt you're wrong." Shinzu waved his goodbye before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Kakashi sulked as he began to worry about what was to come. What if it was this mission that Kentaro took it too far? Could Kakashi live with himself if he sat about and did nothing?

He would speak with Jiraiya first, see his opinion on the whole thing.

Ritsuka and Kentaro caught up on their sensei and Hikaru. They seemed to be in good spirits as they set out, Ritsuka back to her swearing self. Shinzu laughed at her dirty humour, wondering how it had gotten so bad, then he remembered Jiraiya's return. What a bad influence he was, though he must admit, it was so much funnier coming from a sweet, caring and lovely girl.

The team made good time as they headed west before turning north towards the snow country. Apparently some bandits were causing some trouble, and the towns and villages were being driven out, their woman raped, the children and men enslaved and there homes burned. Shinzu had made it very clear that even though they were alone now, more teams would be joining them, though most of them were genin on their first high ranked mission. Hikaru had protested but in the end knew he couldn't change it. He wasn't looking forward to all the hard work that lay ahead.

The journey to the mountains was thankfully rather swift. The cold weather was something Ritsuka and the group weren't really used to, and they found themselves huddling closer and closer in the night. Shinzu had even taken to cuddling Ritsuka when he slept, and apologising embarrassedly in the morning. Kentaro had grown to dislike his sensei very quickly.

Once they had reached the snow country, the bandits had thankfully been working more south, meaning they were close. Two more teams of genin had joined them, there spirits high and excited, though wary. Hikaru had been his usual raging self, though one of the girls had a taken a shine to him quickly. He had liked that.

Once the plans were set, the teams moved out, there strategies folding out nicely. The bandits had proved to be a little more than hard to put a stop to, but it hadn't been impossible. Ritsuka had helped immensely with her woman charms and good looks, luring a lot of the group away from each other. She hated using things like that, but sometimes it was how a job needed to get done, and get done safely. Kentaro had made his protests known though.

The teams headed back, Shinzu keeping his team in the snow country a little longer to make absolutely sure that all of the bandits had been rounded up.

"Don't worry Hikaru we shall be off back to sunny Konoha in no time, so stop your yapping." Their sensei had grown very fond of Hikaru, though the two seemed to fight like cat and dog. They were sort of like a married couple at times.

"Well maybe if you'd move your sorry old ass we'd have been home already." He bit back, his temper rising again. Hikaru was so hot headed sometimes, but that was why they all loved him. He was so passionate and pure, and he was a face value type of guy. What you saw was what you got. While Shinzu talked with the leaders of the main village, the three students sat together silently. A strange gap had grown between Hikaru and Kentaro, and it hurt Ritsuka to see it. Her team didn't feel so safe anymore, so robust. Like one sneeze could shatter the whole thing. Ritsuka sat puzzled as Kentaro threw his hands together in a blur of seals, her mind once again filling with nothing. She had made the connection many times, but when her mind had cleared she would forget it many a time more.

"Hikaru. Take the kunai from your weapons bag and give it to me." Hikaru followed his orders without hesitation. Ritsuka could feel herself get nervous, but then it left her again, confusion in its midst. Kentaro fingered the kunai gingerly, a sadistic smile on his face. "Give me your hand." He continued to order, and Hikaru continued to comply. Ritsuka watched in horror as Kentaro began to cut into Hikaru's flesh, blood dripping into the snow, ruining its undisturbed look. Ritsuka tried to scream, tried to reach over and stop Kentaro, but she couldn't. Her body wouldn't react no matter how much she tried. "I've been perfecting my skills Ritsuka, my dear. I can now control just your motor functions, without affecting your memory. I want you to see this and remember it. Remember what I will do to you if you don't come with me." Kentaro was making no sense, but all Ritsuka could do was listen, his words and this scene burning its way into her soul. Hikaru's face didn't even contort or anything as Kentaro began to plunge the kunai heartlessly into his veins, blood spilling faster at her dear friend's knees. Kentaro smiled at the tears falling from his love's eyes. His cold bloody fingers wiped them away, Hikaru's blood smearing on her face. She choked back a scream as she tried to avert her gaze, try to do anything, but Kentaro's hold was so strong that her body vibrated with agony. She was going to be sick.

Hikaru stared puzzled at Ritsuka.

"Kentaro, why are your fingers bleeding? And why is Ritsuka crying. Are you hurt?" his voice seemed empty, like he wasn't Hikaru at all, more like a subdued imitator. Kentaro laughed heartily, his musical voice turning harsh, his laughter becoming manic. His eyes burned with determination as he started on Hikaru's other arm.

Ritsuka screamed in her mind, screamed at Kentaro to stop. But she knew it was useless. Her eyes were stinging now, snow falling from the sky and into her eyes, cooling them. Hikaru seemed to falter slightly, as if his conscious had returned, but as quickly as he'd regained himself, Kentaro had knocked him back again. He cackled again, his slow cuts becoming fierce and frenzied. His cackles became screams of joy as he danced around his teammates, spraying blood from the knife onto the snowy ground around them. And all Ritsuka could do was watch. Watch.

Watch her friend die.

Ritsuka felt her heart pang, and her chest close in on her lungs, a lump forming in her throat. How could Kentaro do this? To them. His friends. After all they had been though. Ritsuka's heart pulled uncomfortably at her questions. Surely this wasn't Kentaro. And all she could do was nothing! Sit and be useless! Hikaru will hate her, think she is in on this, but he had to know! Hikaru!!

Kentaro had slowed his dance his eager eyes on his now dizzying friend. Hikaru's head was lolling dangerously, his eyes fluttering. He looked at Ritsuka desperately. Kentaro laughed again as he released Hikaru's mind like he had done Ritsuka's. Hikaru's eyes shot open as he saw his arms, and he fought with his invisible restraints. Kentaro began to laugh manically again, falling back into the snow, his legs and arms kicking out to make a snow angel. Ritsuka cried. She cried hard. Hikaru looked at her, his eyes imploring her to help him, but he knew she couldn't, knew that whatever Kentaro was doing, he was doing to Ritsuka what he had done to him. And that was when Ritsuka saw it. The glint in Hikaru's eyes as he realised his own death. This hurt Ritsuka more than he would know. She faught with her trator mind, fought with the nothingness, with the numb emptiness that clouded her, but there was nothing she could do. Kentaro's hold seemed inpenitrable...

Kentaro had sat up now, noticing Hikaru's slumped body falling into the snow. Crimson was all around him, his arms pumping blood uselessly into the snow.

"Oh go on! Say something!" Kentaro called as he sat behind Ritsuka, his front flush against her back. She felt sick. He was getting off on this! The basterd was sexually aroused at their friends death! She could feel him rub his errection absently into her back, the kunai dancing softly against her cheek. The Fuck!!

"You basterd! You fucking basterd!" Hikaru coughed hard, the words tearing his throat. "I hope you rot in fucking hell! You piece of shit! Let her go now!" tears pooled in his eye's as he chocked out his curses and demands. "When sensei finds out - " Kentaro had kicked Hikaru, hard. His body rolled limply along the snow, the crunching and craking sounds making Ritsuka almost vomit. Kentaro made her look, made her look at the wide and staring eyes of her friend. He had broken his neck and silenced him forever. Just like that…

**Herro everyone! So, a rather dark end to Hikaru's life. I was really sad to kill him off, and i had planned it a long time ago, so i had a hard time developing his character. I grow attatched to things you see. So what's going to happen next? Is Shinzu going to return and save the day? Or has Kentaro got another plan up his sleave? The next chapter is a little more graphic so you've been wraned! XD**

**Thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed it XD**


	20. Chapter 20

**Warning! not for the sqeemish!**

Chapter 20

Kentaro circled his way around Hikaru's body, his smile sickly.

Hikaru…

Ritsuka felt her heart clamp down hard, pain souring through her. This wasn't right, wasn't fair! Why? Why was he doing this? She didn't understand, didn't want to understand. She wished everything were back to normal, that Kentaro was sane, and Hikaru alive, joking and carrying on like he once did. She shut her eyes tightly, wishing and wishing that things would fix. But she knew deep down that it was useless. Tears pushed past her shinobi practice, smudging the blood on her face. She tried again to push her arms out, to move her legs, but her body was a prison. Kentaro continued to smile, staring into Ritsuka as if he knew what she was thinking. Did he?

"He really liked you, you know. Told me on many occasions that when you were old enough he would bed you no problem. I hated him for it. The way he spoke of you like you are some kind of possession. You are far from it. He may have liked you, but I love you." Ritsuka felt confusion more than anything. This wasn't what someone who loved another did. Kill people they care about, fuck with there minds and threaten them that they are next if they don't do as they are told. Ritsuka felt herself gag, her body convulsing dangerously. "You'll understand one day, hopefully. I wouldn't want to hurt you. Though don't think I won't if you ask for it." He licked the remaining blood from the kunai he still had in his hand. "Because I love scars. I think they have intrigue and stories behind them." He inclined his head to Ritsuka suggestively. Ritsuka tried to fight against her invisible bonds, her body a traitor to her will. "Oh stop trying! You're so stubborn." His hand passed up her thigh as he spoke dirty words to her. "You're nothing but a whore, a dirty cock sucking whore, you understand? But I will make you better. Because I love you." his voice was harsh now, the kunai dancing rather closely to the smouldering skin of her abdomen. His hot kisses trailed down her neck as he moaned loudly, laughing when he had reached her collar bone. "I never thought this would be so much fun!" he yelled, his excitement getting the better of him.

Ritsuka had to hold back her fear and quiet thankfulness as their sensei appeared over the hill.

Shinzu's first thought was that he had been a fool and missed some bandits, but when he saw Ritsuka's fear and tears, he knew that he had been wrong. Kentaro stared at him, his eyes hateful, but excited. This was very dangerous. Kakashi's words played on his mind;

"_It seems to be his words, or his voice. It's like he makes you believe what he says by merely saying it."_

"Oh look who it is, little Ritsuka! Ignore the pain in your body from now on." he was stroking her face with Hikaru's kunai, leaving lines of her own blood. It was strange how she couldn't feel it though she knew it should hurt. It was the same with the coldness of the snow. "Our sensei! Our knight in shining armour! Here to save his little girl who has taken a strange and illegal fancy to!" his mouth tugged into a cruel smile before his laughter echoed through the hills. Shinzu kept his face still as he tried to ignore the boy's words. There was something so compelling about them. "Why don't you come and take a seat?" Shinzu sighed with relief when he stayed put. He readied himself for the battle to come, one he never ever wanted to do. He had loved his students dearly, but Kentaro had to be stopped. He felt his heart twinge painfully at the sight of Hikaru, who he had been trying to ignore to avoid the pain. He had really taken to the stubborn boy.

"Alright Kentaro. I'm giving you a chance here. Put your kunai down and release Ritsuka, then we can go back and get you some help. This happens to so many of us, some worse than others, but you can get help." Shinzu somehow knew that this wasn't just your regular break down, but he had to try. Kentaro burst into a frenzied laugh.

"You think I mad?! Fair enough, but I have always been this way you stupid blind fool. All of you were blind to it because I am a brilliant actor!" he began to choke of his laugh. "Oh! Shinzu sensei! Please save me from myself!" he mock pleaded his hands to his face worriedly as he danced around in the snow. His laughter was too much for Ritsuka to bear anymore. "Anyway, I grow bored of your games." His hands flew together again, and Ritsuka screamed inside of her head. Shinzu tried to follow the seals, trying to figure out what his attack was going to be. But it wasn't an attack. "And your under!" Kentaro was screaming with delight. "Oh Ritsuka I have been dying to do this for so long, so would you quit fighting me so I can fully enjoy it?" his cruel smile had returned as he called to their sensei. "Get over here!" he barked his orders out angrily. Shinzu fought back, but Kentaro's temper was failing him. "Get the fuck over here!" his words washed over Shinzu and he found himself moving towards his mental captor.

Ritsuka's heart was aching and heavy with worry and knowledge of what was to come next. Every muscle, bone and fibre was fighting against this invisible hold that was on her. Useless and abundant tears fell from her eyes, and she could see everything. And it was engraving itself onto her memory.

"Now Ritsuka, please don't feel so sad. I am only trying to save you. This here," he pointed to Shinzu who was now kneeling in front of Kentaro, almost bowing and shaking from his effort to fight back, "has had intentions to bed you ever since you were fourteen." Shinzu's eyes flew open, his stare begging for Ritsuka to ignore him. Yes he had found the girl attractive, but he was making it out that he was going to rape her at exactly 1 minute past twelve in the morning of her birthday. "A disgusting man if you ask me. What age are you? Tell Ritsuka what your age is." he asked, his cruel smile widening. Kentaro was beginning to sweat.

"Twenty…. Four." His body convulsed terribly under his strain.

"Twenty four!" Kentaro was enjoying this far too much. "That's nine years older! Ritsuka would never do such a thing!" Kentaro laughed again. "Would you?" Ritsuka hated this, hated this more than anything. "Would you?!" Kentaro approached her fast, kunai brandished dangerously. "Answer me truthfully!" Ritsuka felt fear stab her as she opened her mouth.

"Yes." Kentaro's eyes flashed angrily.

"Filthy bitch!" he hit her, hard. Her vision began to blur as she lay in the snow, blood trickling from her now broke nose. She didn't feel a thing. He hit her again and again. His rage was so frantic that Ritsuka could feel his control falling slightly. She reached for the tears in the emptiness of her mind, pulling at them violently. Immediately she regretted it. Pain coursed through her, every kick and punch making her body fold and twist. The cold of the snow had made her legs and hands numb, her face stinging from the salty tears in the little cuts. Kentaro didn't seem to notice this until Ritsuka began to scream in her agony. His eyes flashed to hers, and in a panic threw his hands together again to make those horrid hand seals. A swift kick from her sensei to his face sent him careering over Ritsuka and into a pile in the snow. Kentaro was panting hard, weak from all of his fighting.

"Ritsuka!" his warm and brilliant hands were running over her feverently, his mind racing. She was far too cold. Her body was shivering violently, and she knew she would be losing parts of herself to frost bite soon. Shinzu removed his jacket and wrapped Ritsuka up, whispering to her his reassurances. He carefully, but hurriedly checked around them both for his dangerous student, but he was no where to be seen. This wasn't good.

And all was lost as quickly as it had been found. Kentaro breathed heavily, his mouth dribbling blood, his hands on the last seal. Shinzu had stopped rubbing warmth into Ritsuka, his eyes filled with panic, but his body relaxed.

"Get back to your place in the snow." Kentaro pulled at Ritsuka, taking her with him. "Go on, fuck off." He dragged her painfully across the bumpy snow. "And you!" he grabbed Ritsuka's collar and brought her to his eye level. "I don't know how you did it, but I will be taking your privilege of not feeling the cold or the pain away. You can thank yourself later for it." So Ritsuka's lifeless body flopped to the ground again, her face pressed uncomfortably on the freezing, wet snow. Kentaro wasted no time in disposing of their sensei.

First he handed Shinzu Hikaru's kunai, ordering him cut a smiley face into his own thigh. Shinzu complied with great hesitance, but even his mind wasn't strong enough. Kentaro would be watching his power closely to ensure he didn't get attacked surprisingly again.

"That's it, now." Kentaro circled him, his nasty leer making Ritsuka sick again. Take off your jumper and bare yourself to nature!" Shinzu complied, removing his upper clothing and shivering as wind from the north picked up speed. His eyes were strong still, his mind still fighting. Ritsuka was doing the same, looking for the tears in the foundations again, but Kentaro's hold was stronger this time. And all Ritsuka could do was watch.

Again.

"Now take the kunai, and plunge it deep into your abdomen, just under the belly button." Ritsuka screamed in her head, and Shinzu fought dearly for his life. His arm shook terribly as his eyes filled with unshed tears. Utter fear overtook him. As the kunai tip touched his pale skin, Shinzu closed his eyes tight in preparation for the pain. Kentaro seemed to have taken away some of his privileges too. The knife made a sick squelching sound as it dug deep into Shinzu body, blood pooling out around him. Ritsuka couldn't see much past her tears at this point. "Now scream." Kentaro's smile made Ritsuka hate everything about him, made her want to rip head off and shove some horrid things down his neck, but she wanted him to die slowly, and painfully, like her friend had, and now her sensei. Her plans of what she was going to do dissipated suddenly as Shinzu's scream of agony tore through her. Ritsuka's resolve fell as she saw his face contorted in agony, his eyes pleading. "Now wobble it about! Yes just like that! And make sure you watch as you pull it out, but slowly." Shinzu tugged at the kunai, his skin clamping round it and making a vacuum. "twist." Was all Kentaro said, and of course Shinzu obeyed. Blood splashed out dangerously, Shinzu's eyes fogging over. "Now pull out what you can of your insides with your hands, give me the kunai first." Ritsuka hated him so much! She was frantically pulling at the nothingness in her mind, desperate to save her sensei. Kentaro seemed to notice as a wave of pain filled her. It was artificial and she knew it. He was making her think she was in so much more pain than she was, and she hated him. She quietly noted that he hadn't spoken that time. She watched helplessly as Shinzu pulled at his insides, his digestive system causing steam to rise from the snow. His hands were caked in blood, and his eyes were closed tightly. "Now what do you have to say?" Kentaro was playing this out.

"I'm sorry… Ritsuka." And that was the last words she heard leave her beloved sensei's beautiful mouth. His beautiful, beautiful mouth.

Ritsuka blinked back her tears. Kentaro was walking about her sensei, removing kunai and scrolls and pocketing them. He didn't even look at her as he spoke.

"You know how, when you're sick, and carrots always seem to turn up, even though for years you've never eaten them? Have you ever wondered why?" Kentaro began to fiddle about with Shinzu's insides, pulling and snapping bits here and there. He brought over a bundle of bleeding organs and plopped down in front of Ritsuka. He held up his stomach to the light, laughing at the look of horror on Ritsuka's face. "I never thought you were the squeamish type, or is it maybe because it's _his_ organs? Eh?! Whore!" Ritsuka swallowed hard. "well anyway, I don't see any carrots yet. But mind you, did he not eat some last night? I guess this experiment isn't very well done. I should have thrown them away." He seemed to be muttering to himself now, a little distracted. Ritsuka felt him tug at her sensei's jacket that she still had, cold air flowing in under it. He was cleaning his hands of blood on it. "Y'know, I never really wanted this to happen this way. I was just going to steal you away secretly. But then that stupid Hatake had to turn up. He ruined everything. So you can blame him for the death of your team." He began to fiddle with another of Shinzu's vitals. "He was looking for you, the day he came back. Asked me if you were around. So told him that hated his guts. He sulked a little but he was determined, so I made him believe it. Never has someone's person become so small and fragile so quickly. I had a hard time not laughing. In fact, you could say that the whole thing was what had properly awoken me to the potential of my power. We have a lot to thank Kakashi for." He started to wipe his hands on their sensei' jacket again. "But then he started trying to talk to you! The nerve of the guy. He must have really been hung up on you. So I started making you kiss me, show me bouts of affection. Oh the strings it snapped in his wee heart." Kentaro had taken to stroking her hair now, blood sticking to it and making it matted. "I started to make him believe that we had had sex, and that didn't go down well at all. He got so violent. If I hadn't been quick with my hands, I think I would either be in hospital or dead right now. Gwad he was mad!" he was lying down next to her now, pulling himself under the warm of her jacket. He shivered lightly, touching his cold hands against her are stomach. "I think its maybe time I made my near death experience worth while no?"

Ritsuka filled with panic as he started to undress her. She was going to freeze to death and she was going to lose her virginity to some psychopath who had ruined her team. She struggled against his mental hold, but it seemed to be even stronger now that he wasn't controlling Shinzu. His slimy and sickening kisses made her cry, and he let her. He let the tears fall, and he enjoyed them. He licked them and told her she was beautiful. She was down to her underwear now and she could feel the effects. Her whole body vibrated nastily, her teeth chattering to the point where she wondered if they would shatter. She had forgotten how her toes and fingers felt, and the ebbing pain of his beating earlier seemed to fade a little as her body physically numbed. He was kissing her still, his head travelling downwards.

And suddenly he stopped, hatred pouring over him like treacle. He was up like a shot, his eyes searching the forest ahead.

"Fuck!" he shouted, stomping on the ground like a child, and kicking bits of intestine in his tantrum. "Why can't you just leave us the fuck alone!" he was screaming into the forest now, and Ritsuka strained to sense who was there. Her heart skipped.

"No…" she managed to whimper through shivers. "run…" but she was sure he couldn't hear. Kakashi stood at the opening in the forest, his hands balled into fist and furious. He had been too late for Hikaru and Shinzu, but he could feel Ritsuka's subdued chakra clearly. He could sense her panic and imagine her pain

Oh he was going to kill Kentaro!

**Well Kakashi the hero is hear to save the day! woohoo! Oh he's so sexy XD but will Kentaro prove to be too much for the emotional shinobi? or will Kakashi kick ass? **

**Thanks again everyone for reading! and its good to hear from people to! thanks a lot guys for reviewing!! XD**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Kentaro made quick work of his hands, but Kakashi was quicker. He had figured it all out and was now ignoring the seals and dashing round the clearing to his other side, sharingan being released. It whirled into action and he could see the chakra strings reaching out from Kentaro's hands. They were unruly, heading towards him. He knew that if he watched the hand seals, they seemed to have a hypnotic value to draw you into them, and rendering you completely unaware of the chakra strings catching you. He could see them going into Ritsuka panicked eyes. Kakashi felt unimaginable rage fill him, but he had to keep his head. Kentaro was laughing manically, his head thrown back, tears running down his cheeks.

"Oh how I hate your guts!" the psycho had said, throwing his hands together again, but Kakashi was too well in the know now. Kakashi hands were making its own seals, biting his thumb and releasing blood. He slammed his hands into the ground, a small brown pug dog emerging. Ritsuka admired his growth through her inner turmoil. She hadn't realised he could summon. A deep sadness filled her at the realisation of how much she had really missed. Kakashi covered the dog's eyes.

"Pakkun. You must use your nose and not your eyes until you are far from here. Follow my scent back until you approach Jiraiya and show him to come here. Tell him that my suspicions were right, and the seals are hypnotic." He removed his hand from the dog's eyes, and Pakkun nodded to no one. He shot off into the trees, his eyes closed, Kentaro screeching after him. He chased the damned dog to the end of the clearing, but Kakashi was in his way, his arm outstretched and a kunai at Kentaro's throat. And finally a fair fight began.

Kentaro's moves were sloppy and irregular, hard to follow, but Kakashi had the added help of his Sharingan. It was too easy. Kakashi cut and slashed away at Kentaro's skin, trying to end his life quickly, but he seemed to be still fighting, just managing to escape his life ending blows. Kakashi's fury was luckily unstoppable, and he was more than happy to unleash his wrath on this piece of shit.

"Scream for me my love!" Kentaro shouted, laughing manically again. Kakashi was disturbed by him. How had he held this side of him so quietly out of sight, for so long. But he wasn't going to let him use Ritsuka against him. He had done enough of that.

"Leave him alone Kakashi! Stop it!" Ritsuka held her purple hands to her mouth, trying to stop herself. She was becoming used to Kentaro's hold, her senses picking up quickly when his concentration wavered. Kakashi appearance had shocked him, parts of his control falling. She was forcing herself to sit up now. She tried to shout to Kakashi, to tell him she didn't mean it, but as quickly as she had regained herself, she was lying on the melting snow again, her body a prison once again. Kakashi ignored her, though it was hard.

"Louder!" he screamed.

"Kakashi!! Leave him!" her hands flew to her mouth but fell again, her mind splitting with pain. She felt so stupid. Kakashi tried again to ignore her best he could, knowing full well what was going on. He was going to kick the shit out of Kentaro until he was an inch from his life, begging and gargling on his own blood. Oh he was looking forward to this. Kentaro began to panic slightly, his body slumping from the effort of avoiding Kakashi's attacks. Kakashi fist connected with a crack to Kentaro's jaw, blood flying from his mouth. He stumbled back, hands up and protecting himself.

"I didn't want to hurt her Hatake, but you've forced me to do it." Kakashi stopped mid step, ready to protect Ritsuka. Did the fool think he would get by him? He was more stupid than he had first thought, or maybe just desperate. He was between Kentaro and Ritsuka, waiting for his attack. But it never came in the way he had thought. "You're leg has just been broken Ritsuka, shattered even, blood everywhere and you are overwhelmed with unimaginable pain." He spoke his words, and Kakashi felt his heart drop. He hadn't realised he could do that. The heart wrenching scream that Ritsuka made had Kakashi faltering. He wanted desperately to run to her, but he couldn't let this fuck out of his sight. He ran for Kentaro then instead, throwing shuriken at his ankles and wrists, hoping to slow him down with blood loss. His heart was racing as Ritsuka's strangled cries and sobs rolled over him, making his skin goosepimply and his hair stand up on its ends. Kentaro was pure evil, and surprisingly resilient, though he would never admit it to him. "Your arm has been dislocated, and your stomach torn. Blood is leaving you quickly and you're panicking about your death. Bones a shattering in you, your skull clamping down on your brain. Your dying in agony!!" He continued to shout his descriptions, Ritsuka coughing and spluttering her agonising screams. Kakashi couldn't handle it, even though he knew it wasn't true. Ritsuka didn't have that reassurance. She thought it was real. He had been there, the near death experiences, and he knew what it could do to a person.

"Stop it before I kill you!" Kakashi had had enough. With a few quick manoeuvres and a couple of well placed jutsus, Kentaro was lying unconscious on the snowy ground, blood pooling. Kakashi admired his work for a few seconds more before deciding he would check on Ritsuka, and wait for Jiraiya to make the decision of what was to become of Kentaro. Ritsuka would probably hate him if he blindly killed him. Plus, torture seemed a much more fitting punishment. Death was too easy on the sadistic boy.

Ritsuka blinked back tears, her screams stopping abruptly, and soon everything made sense. She sat up from the now melted snow and felt her leg and arm, realising it had all been fake. She sighed with relief when she felt warm hands tugging at her and pulling her into a warm and safe hug.

"Ritsuka! God I thought you were going to… never mind, everything is alright now." He started brushing his hands through her hair, forcing every ounce of love he could into the action. His heart was still racing as he started redressing his friend. He silently thanked no one in particular that Ritsuka at least still had her underwear on. Her fingers numbly tried to help, though she scowled when they were as useful as a bunch of stumps. She smiled apologetically as Kakashi nervously touched bruised and cut areas before slipping her t-shirt back on, informing her that he would have to dress those wounds later. Her body shivered and convulsed as he removed his jumper and flack jacket, tucking her warmly inside of it. He could feel Jiraiya almost at the clearing, his mind racing on what to do next.

"Hatake…" she muttered shakily her hands groping for him. "You'll freeze." she was fiddling with his jumper that she was currently wrapped in. she cursed with frustration as the skin on her finger tips began to bleed. Panic set in as she thought of having frost bite. Didn't they cut stuff off when that happened? Kakashi sensed her panic, squeezing her hands gently in his warm ones. It stung.

"It's only for a few minutes. Just until I get a fire started." Kakashi carried Ritsuka away from the bloody scene, hoping she wouldn't see anything more. Not that her memory would help much, but she didn't need to stare at it. She whimpered and shivered violently, muttering her thanks and appreciation that he had saved her life. Kakashi felt he hadn't deserved it, feeling he should have done something sooner. Frustration was a thing he was feeling more regularly around Ritsuka.

He laid Ritsuka against a tree, rubbing her arms hard as he looked around for fire wood. Ritsuka curled up into a ball when he quickly parted from her, collecting some nearby braches and bits of log to make a crappy make shift pile, and using some fire jutsu to start it. He quickly pulled her close to him again, picking her up and placing her gently in his crossed legs so that she was off the ground, rubbing her body to warm her. The fire crackled and burned while he made quick work. He checked now and again to see if Kentaro had moved, but the boy had remained still. Jiraiya could deal with him. He would have to or Kakashi would kill the shit.

"Kakashi! What on earth…" Jiraiya had appeared moments later, Pakkun coming to sit by the fire proud that he had done well. Kakashi thanked him, sending him back to his own home. "Where's Kentaro?" Jiraiya's question had Kakashi puzzled.

"He should be right over -" Kakashi almost dropped Ritsuka as he jumped up. "He was right there a second ago! Fuck!" Kakashi continued to curse as he cuddled Ritsuka close again as he dropped back to sitting, her whimpering bringing him back to reality. His fingers found their way to the back of her neck, messaging her. His rage would have to wait. Jiraiya set out to look for him, his face set and ready. "Remember not to look at his hands!" Kakashi called his warning out, though he know Jiraiya had remembered. Kentaro couldn't have got far, right? Kakashi was brought from his thoughts as Ritsuka cuddled closer to her friend, pulling at him. He still hadn't taken his jumper back.

"Kakashi? I'm sorry." She stated it so simply, like she had done something wrong. Kakashi rested his chin on the top of her head and swayed slightly, rocking her gently.

"You needn't be. I have much more to apologise for than you." He smiled softly, enjoying their aloneness, though he would have preferred to have been much warmer. He was playing with her hair absently when she managed to sit up and turned to face him.

"You must… freezing!" she exclaimed, her slurring and broken speech was still there even though her mind and energy returning to her now. She began tugging at his jumper and pulled it off. Kakashi let her, not wanting to fight. He needed to get her back, and if he were to fall ill it would make it hard. Ritsuka cuddled back into him again, sighing softly at his touch. The two sat and talked, well Kakashi had tried his best to interpret Ritsuka's quiet and mixed up questions, about Kakashi's two years with Jiraiya, some of the new techniques he had learned and he told her some of the horrible and embarrassing situations that Jiraiya had got him in, to help cheer her up a little. Plus she was probably the only one he could ever tell such stories to without feeling awkward and exposed.

Jiraiya had soon returned without any luck, and even with the use of Pakkun, it had proven to be quite impossible to follow the boy. As if he had completely vanished. Pakkun was still learning of course, and Kakashi couldn't fault him in his efforts. The whole experience was bringing Kakashi's mood cascading down. He had apologised so many times that Ritsuka was beginning to feel herself get irritated. It wasn't Kakashi's fault! She wanted to assure him, but her mind and mouth just weren't cooperating at the moment, in fact, her mind and everything else wasn't cooperating much. Was this Kentaro's doing? Or was it the cold? Oh how she wished she could ask…

Kakashi and Jiraiya had collected the bodies of Hikaru and Shinzu, preparing them to be cremated. Ritsuka had sat next to the fire, her eyes wet with tears. Her body still shook, but the group needed to make their way back before it got too dark. They would make there way out of the still snowing snow country and head further down to warmer forests. They would set up camp there for the night. Jiraiya had already sent word back to Konoha explaining what he had interpreted had happened, which wasn't too far off, just the why's and how's missing. Ritsuka would fill it all in later, but for now her mind was else where.

And soon the sticks and bodies were ready, the small sending off seeming to be out of place for the two larger than life characters. Ritsuka felt her heart breaking at the thought of never seeing them again, there last moments replaying in her mind, taunting her, mocking her, hurting her. Tears were turning to ice as the got to her chin, stinging her numb face. This wasn't right, wasn't fair. She appreciated the men's work under the circumstance though, their thought very touching. She had a feeling Jiraiya and Kakashi had done this so elaborately to make her feel better, rather than just digging grave for them. Shinzu had often spoken of cremation being the best way to release the spirit. Most shinobi felt that way, due to there usually not being enough body left to bury. It also stopped grave robbing of people with blood line limits…

"Let me help you over, unless you would prefer to stay over here. I would understand." Kakashi was ready to pick her up, his eye searching hers. She smiled slightly and nodded her head. Kakashi carefully wound his arms around her waist and under her knees, lifting her bridal style. He walked carefully over the snow towards the wooden pile, his visible eye closed in a reassuring smile. He set her down gently on a log, rubbing her as Jiraiya started the fire.

And so two of Ritsuka's team were laid to rest, their essence blowing in the blizzard of the snow country.

**Herro!! well Kakashi kicked fecking ass!! And now we are seeing the softer side of him, seeing how has grown and become more tolerant of peoples emotions and feelings. He takes real good care of Ritsuka especially, having come to terms with his love for her. So now it's just a matter of when! When will they finally get their asses in gear! who knows really lol**

**Well thanks again everyone for reading! And a big big big thankyou to my reviewers! loving the questions and the banter! it's all very helpful and always welcome! so thanks again!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Kakashi and Jiraiya made camp. Kakashi got a fire going immediately, resting Ritsuka against a rock that they were using as shelter from the wind. He had wiped most of the wounds she had that were on easy accessible areas, but once they had the tent up, he would have to make sure that other wounds weren't infected and get them bandaged up.

"Kakashi, I'm going to go on watch tonight alright? So you take Ritsuka into the tent and we'll head off early in the morning." Jiraiya winked at Kakashi, making him scowl and push him away. "I got some inspiration for my next book!" he shouted back to him, laughing when Kakashi had thrown some wood, deliberately missing. Perverted crazy old man!

"You ready?" Kakashi asked Ritsuka who was giggling. She nodded and she found her useless body being carried into the tent. Kakashi shuffled around as he set blankets and sleeping bags out into a double bed sort of way. He then pulled out his first aid supplies. "Right. Now. We'll need to fix up some of the wounds under your jumpers now that your warmer." A blush crept onto his cheeks as he thought about the next few moments. Ritsuka shrugged out of Shinzu's bloody jacket and fumbled with her numb fingers with her tops. Kakashi slid over and began to help her, feeling a little out of place. She blushed hard as he looked away, scared to see too much. Ritsuka shivered violently again, her teeth chattering dangerously. "I'll be quick." Was all Kakashi said as he cleaned and bandaged cuts and gashes on her torso. Once she was fully checked, and no infection setting in, Kakashi helped her dress into a thin layer of clothes, saying that body heat would be the best thing for her. She gulped hard. Kakashi decided it best that she wore at least one layer of clothing, afraid that he might do something stupid.

"Kakashi?" Ritsuka hadn't spoken much, her voice horse and coughs usually racking her body afterwards. He made a noise saying that he was listening as he undressed himself down to his boxers. She hesitated. "Thank you." She had no way of conveying properly just how much she had appreciated his help and care. He had been so patient with her body's brokenness, and so forgiving after everything that had been caused because of her.

Because of her. The thought set in finally. This was all because Kentaro wanted her…

"Oh it's alright!" he smiled happily. "Just glad I could do something is all. I'm only sorry I haven't been here for you from the start. Who knows what he could have had you doing." He stopped feeling a little fearful. Ritsuka still hadn't told him how far Kentaro had gone, or even if she knew.

"I guess." She coughed hard again. Kakashi was by her side instantly, patting her back lightly. When she had finished, he lay her down gently, rubbing her fingers gently.

"I think you were very lucky on the frostbitten front. Nothing seems to be black yet, but you're going to be sore for a while. Hand seals are a no go for the nest couple of days I would think." He continued to talk about his predictions on what her limitations would be as he tucked them both in the blankets and sleeping bags. Ritsuka enjoyed the warmth he gave her, and she cuddled close, her cold skin making him jump a little.

"Sorry." She pulled back, but Kakashi's arms were round her and pulling her tight.

"Don't worry, now sleep. You look like you need it." Ritsuka smiled as she snuggled in again, Kakashi's rhythmic breathing lulling her off to sleep.

But her dreams were tormented and bloody, the days events taking it's tole on her subconscious. She turned and tossed, trying to escape the scenes, the images, the blood, the death… the loss…

"Ritsuka?" she was now sitting upright, unsure when she had actually woken up. The tent was black, images still seaming to play as if she were watching it as clearly as though it were a film. Kakashi's seemed to pull her back to the here and now as he soothed her with his low and sort of husky voice questioning her. "Ritsuka are you alright? Did you have a bad dream?" he pulled gently at her shoulder, his desperation for her to say something forcing him to badger her some more. "Ritsuka?" he knew she would talk in her own time, but the silence was painful.

"I… Does it ever… get better?" Ritsuka's small voice was so full of hurt and fear that Kakashi just wanted to smother her with love until she had forgotten her name. Hug her until she couldn't think one bad thought ever again. But he knew he couldn't. His own experiences had taught him.

"It never gets… better as such. It gets easier to face it, easier to think about it, you begin to accept it and see it for how it really was rather than the emotional mish-mash you remember at first… but it never gets better." Ritsuka gasped back her tears, her useless, swollen and stinging hands just causing her to jump at their coldness on her eyes. She would have thumped them into the blankets if they didn't hurt so much. Kakashi was beside her then, holding her tightly in his arms, his soft hushing sounds helping her relax. She could sense his uncomfortable hesitance. Of course it never got better. It would never fix. She could only deal with it better, that was all. She wished it were different, wished that she would just forget everything, but that would be weak. And she wasn't weak. She had lost her whole family for god's sake. This was nothing! She cursed at herself for the poor choice of words. It wasn't that it was nothing it was just, not the first time it had happened, though it had been the first time she had watched a friend die so brutally. Her sensei had protected her from death so well that she now wished that he hadn't. Maybe this would have a seemed a little easier if she had killed before, if she had witnessed more deaths in her life. Kakashi rubbed her hands softly, as if worried he might break them.

Ritsuka was too young for this, and too inexperienced. She was no Jonin… Just a stupid grade she had achieved god only knows how…

His head was rested lightly on her shoulder, waiting for her to say something maybe?

"I see." Was all she could say. "Thanks." Kakashi looked up at her, his eyes, one black and the other crimson, analysing her curiously.

"For what? Saying it never gets better? I can't imagine that helped you…" he seemed to be angry with himself, though Ritsuka didn't understand. She was so good at this stuff usually…

"For being honest with me." And Kakashi understood. He pulled her as close as he could to him, his flaming hot skin calling Ritsuka to him. She pressed herself against his hard chest, wondering where he had been all this time, and why she hadn't had the chance to do this more often. He lay back down slowly, yelping almost as her toes brushed his leg and her hand touched his stomach. Ritsuka giggled softly, sticking her other hand under him and touching his back, mercilessly freezing her friend. His strangled cry had her laughing harder, her inner child squealing with joy. Oh she had missed out on so much. And so the pair fought playfully with each other, Kakashi finding himself blissfully indulging in this sudden turn of events. She giggled and writhed slightly under his hold, her eyes glinting with mischief. She would forget for now. She would enjoy this moment and deal with things later. She needed this…

"Your so cruel you know that?" Kakashi laughed throatily as he lay on top of his friend, his eyes flying open in realisation. He was lying on top of her!!! he couldn't believe his absent mindedness that seemed take over when he got close to his friend. Blushing lightly, he rolled to the side, feeling his heart speed in its desperate attempt to pump blood around his now tingling and overly sensitive body. He felt himself almost die inside at his now raging erection, and Ritsuka's giggle. Did she notice? He couldn't help all the images that ran through his head now…

"Aw man! It's been too long." She snuggled against him again, thankfully unaware of what she had done to him. She snored softly that night, seamlessly in a dreamless sleep. Kakashi had a bit of calming down to do before he could join her in the land of the sleeping…

The next morning, Ritsuka curled against Kakashi as she tried to lock him in position. She didn't want to get up, not now… her body ached and creaked as tried to move, her hands and feet stinging nastily. They were still as cold as ice, but were thawing out, which she supposed was a good thing. Though, not to mention the cuts and bruises that her now un-numbing body was realising existed…

"Oh stop squirming. We need to get you back to the village and get you properly checked out. I'm not a doctor, and there is no way I'm letting Jiraiya see to you." He shook his head as possible scenarios popped into his mind. Stupid pervert. "And anyway, you need to eat." And with that he untangled himself gently, leaving a rather pouty Ritsuka to sulk in the covers. She was so cold!

Kakashi made quick work of starting another fire, Jiraiya jumping down from a nearby tree with some fish he had just caught. Kakashi found some sticks and was pushing them through the fish when Ritsuka emerged like some kind of monster, her many, many layers of covers and clothing surrounding her, and the blankets from the night before wrapped on top of them as she stumbled around. Kakashi held back his laugh as she tripped, her mountain of material bouncing around as she steadied herself, a string of curses falling from her lips as she hopped on one foot. Kakashi lead her to the fire, her face now completely hidden under her blankets.

"Ritsuka… I'd have brought it in to you!" he pulled at the barriers until her eyes were visible. She seemed to be laughing.

"Aw gawd this is fun!" she exclaimed as she abandoned her bruising foot, pulling her arms back into her secret lair. Kakashi just shook his head as he set to work making breakfast again.

"Sleep well Ritsuka? I hope Kakashi let you!" Jiraiya was stirring Kakashi's temper. Of course he let her sleep, of all the stupid questions to ask. Ritsuka nodded her head, though the action was lost as her blankets descended over her eyes again. She giggled. "Well I hope so because we have a lot of ground to cover, I have a mission scheduled in four days so…" Ritsuka found her gift of sight again.

"Four days?! It takes a week to get back! And I can barely walk!" Ritsuka was hoping he was joking around to wind her up, but he seemed strangely serious.

"I'm sorry but I have to get back by then, so if I disappear in a couple of days, I've just gone on ahead. But I'm sure we'll be fine!" he gave his comforting smile as he took the fish Kakashi had thrust out to him. Ritsuka did the same, though her fingers were still clumsy.

"Oh fuck off!" she moaned when she almost dropped it. Some careful tilting, and well judged aiming, and she was slurping happily on her food.

"And anyway," Kakashi had finished two now as he handed Ritsuka her second, "You'll be on my back until you get the feeling in your feet again so we'll make fine time." Ritsuka's eyes bulged at the thought. After everything they had just done he was now going to carry her back? She felt like shit…

"Oh! It's okay! I can feel my feet fine, look!" she started to poke at her foot with her finger through the bandages. "Ow! See?" Kakashi shook his head, and she could make out his smile under that stupid mask of his. "Kakashi…." She moaned, feeling frustrated. He wasn't listening to her as he started taking the camp down, Jiraiya helping him. Ritsuka finished her food without a ward, her mind screaming in annoyance. When had she become so dependant? She had done fine without anyone, and now, all of a sudden, she needs someone to carry her because she can't walk, at fifteen years old. Her eyes stung as she felt tears of pure frustration tug at her. This was stupid. Ritsuka put her sticks down and began to remove her many lairs. She was fine! She would show them!

Ritsuka folded up the blankets as best she could, cursing at her fingers. She could hardly manoeuvre them without yelping in pain or hearing them crack at the knuckle. She hated this so much…

She stood in her usual shinobi get up, her baggy trousers proving useless in this cold climate. Shinzu had warned her though. She used some hair ties that she had brought for herself around her thighs to bring the clothing closer to her, hoping to warm herself, even just but a little. She immediately was regretting her stubbornness as the blankets lay calling to her, but she was a big girl now right?

Ritsuka then fingered the jacket that Shinzu had given her, his blood spread across it in smudged hand print patterns. The day before cascaded in front of her eyes, her heart clamping on itself. Her body shook with effort, and a ball of tension formed in her chest. She wouldn't cry, she was going to deal with this, she wasn't going to cry.

Tears streaked down her cheeks, mocking her. Her laughter from earlier and the night before made her feel guilty, that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be happy since she had watched her friends die, been the reason that they were now dead.

And the same realisation hit her again.

Kentaro had killed her team, her friends, because of her.

But why?

She felt confused and a little dizzy as she shivered, unsure if it was with the effort that she was taking to not scream until her voice turned to dust, or the cold wind that was snapping at her hair, making her tears burn her with cold as they fell from her eyes.

Gathering herself together she pulled Shinzu's jacket on, her mind being set that she would keep it, cherish it forever as the last of the many kind deeds Shinzu had done for her. Kakashi was standing nervously behind her, obviously aware of the turmoil she was going through. After all, he had been here before. Didn't he bring back Obito's goggles?

Ritsuka smiled the best she could, her eyes red from the vigorous rubbing she had done to rid her face of the burning tears. She was ready to head back.

Kakashi wouldn't take no for an answer when she clumsily jumped onto a low tree branch, her feet slipping and her hands proving to still be as useless as the night before. Kakashi was quick in his catching of her, flipping her round so that she had no choice but to wrap her legs and arms around him, allowing him to set off, Jiraiya mumbling as he picked up all the gear.

The first couple of days had proven a bit rough for Ritsuka, her frozen hands and toes seeming to get worse with pain as they began to come back to life. Her dexterity was still worryingly bad, but she was getting there. At least nothing had turned black yet…

Kakashi had religiously rubbed her and warmed her at every stop and break, feeding her and checking her wounds and bandages, even brushing her hair when she had thrown her brush out of the tent in a temper. She had never felt so looked after…

Kakashi had even given the great Jiraiya a lecture about keeping it in his pants and his dirty mind to himself, before he set off to watch for the night. And the nights that they slept were short. Jiraiya was pushing them to get back, his mission seeming to be a lot more important than Ritsuka had previously appreciated.

"I have to get to a village in the south. Orochimaru has been seen by an informant of mine. He said that he had seen the hotel he was staying in and his investigation said that he was there for two weeks. The day we found you, Orochimaru had already been there 3 days…" he sighed as he pulled some blankets over them both, his eyes glinting with a sadness Ritsuka had never seen, nor did she like it. Though she was touched that he had opened himself up in such a way to her.

"Then just head now! Kakashi is pretty amazing at this shinobi stuff, you would know more than me." She laughed sadly, having missed out on everything it would seem. "And I'm of Jonin level now! Even though I seem to a bit a useless, I can look after myself!" Jiraiya smiled at her efforts. She had been trying to hard over the last couple of days, maybe Kakashi was smothering her a little, though it was cute to watch.

"I need to see old Saritobi first." Ritsuka laughed at the disrespectful way Jiraiya would always refer to his old sensei, the hokage. "I promised I would, so he could send out help or something… I don't know…" Ritsuka nodded slowly.

"Then just go ahead? Like I said, we'll be fine." Jiraiya sat in thought for a while. But decided that Ritsuka was more important. Plus Kentaro hadn't been found yet. It was too dangerous, despite Kakashi having kicked his ass the first time without any trouble. Bit still… He had been running after Orochimaru far so long, he had missed out on a lot. Especially with Ritsuka.

"It's alright, we're making good time!" He would make sure she got home okay at least.

Jiraiya's words were, however, not so far from the truth. They had made it back to Konoha in just less than five days, and though they were late, Jiraiya still had a chance.

And off he went, hugging Ritsuka tightly before she disappeared into the hospital, promising he would be back soon. She didn't count on it, but knew he would at least try. Which was all that mattered.

**Herro again! wow two chapters in a day! man this is the longest chapter ever! (in my stroy anyway) so yup yup all is well and back at Konoha. Will Kentaro ever be found, will Ritsuka get over things and become what she's always wanted to be? And will Kakashi grow some balls and say something about how he feels? dun dun dun!**

**yes... well, thanks again for reading! hope you liked it! XD**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Kentaro's story:

In the Far East, across the waters, there were many unknown lands. Many villages of people who had not yet known what shinobi were, or what it was like to be part of world where jutsus and chakra were abundant. To these people, to have the ability to use chakra, or as they had known it, magic, made you royalty.

But some saw these abilities as evil, a way of destroying the world. And so, 'magic' grew to be feared, and soon villages were taking it into their own hands to dispose of any 'gifted' individuals.

Most people learned to hide there gifts, for they often developed very late, usually when a person was in their teens, but some were gifted with a blood line limit. These blood line limits could surface at any point, some more deadly than others. Some could even go for long periods of time without getting caught, and these were of course seen as the more dangerous ones.

In one particular village, a boy by the name of Kentaro was born. Once he had learned to talk, his blood line began to surface. His mother had known of course, having had the blood line herself, but she had been lucky. All she had to do was keep her sons abilities a secret until he could learn to control it and hide it. So she set to work teaching him from a young age on how to hide his power.

It wasn't long until he slipped up, his father catching him forcing some children to hurt each other when they wouldn't let him join in their game. His father had been suspicious for a while, and had soon figured things out. He informed his village leader, knowing that his wife too was also one of the gifted, but he remained focussed, not allowing his emotions to cloud his mind.

Kensaki Kentaro and his mother were sentenced to death.

Kentaro's mother had stepped in to protect her special little boy, her hands flying together to make the hand seals that would decide there fate. She made the village kill each other, crying as she watched her fellow people fight to death. But it was her only hope to escape with her son, to protect him. The people would never stop, alerting other towns and villages. They would never seize in their search for her baby and herself, their need for blood forcing them to follow forever.

Kentaro watched the blood bath with eager eyes, watched his beloved mother make such a huge sacrifice for his life. He was six, old enough to understand what was going on.

And the two left, hand in hand, off to find another home.

Other towns and villages however had learned of the massacre of the great nameless village, cousins and brothers and friends of the victims devastated by the news, and suspicious of the survivors. Kentaro's mother had refused to talk about what had happened, claiming to be too upset, but soon the people put two and two together. And so their constant hiding and escaping become a way of life.

But no matter what lengths Kentaro's mother went to, she could not control everyone. Two many minds she had been into, too many different people. Too many bad deeds she had done, and soon her sins were catching up on her. She lost sleep at night as she tossed and turned, fighting off her demons. She grew distracted in the long days, her concentration wavering when she had needed it the most.

And soon enough, she had been struck down, her arrow wound proving fatal. Kentaro had fled, his heart broken by the unforgiving people of the east.

Kentaro travelled west and across the water, the orphan boy seeming to make a few people do a few favours. A boat boy had been more than happy to take him across while escorting a rich family to the land of the mist. The man on the other side however had proven to be a bit more stubborn, but soon got sick of the annoying boy huffing and puffing next to him.

Kentaro was on main land once more, this time travelling through forests and deserts until he had reached the village he had set out for, Konoha-gakure, the village hidden in the leaves. He had earned of it through some eaves dropping, heard that it was a blissful place to be, with a strong shinobi background and full of good hearted people. Kentaro had decided to become a shinobi, to learn to use his power.

It was a cold and stormy night when he had finally reached the gates, a sweet chunin girl on her way back from a dangerous mission had lead him some of the way. He had cried and rushed a dramatic story of death and violence, causing the girl to fall for him. He had used his ability then, to make her believe him, though he probably didn't need to.

She had taken him in, into her home and family, promising to look after him while he grew up to become a fine shinobi like he had dreamed. She had talked to the hokage and the adoption was settled, all of Kentaro's doing. His mother had taught him well.

As the years went on, Kentaro developed his skills. He learned how to fight with his hands, taijustsu, he learned how to use his chakra to manipulate and do things, ninjutsu. He learned how to make friends, how to talk to others without alerting anyone of his true nature. He had learned how people were to never ever be trusted, that only a select few he would ever be able to explain things to, be able to open himself up to.

It wasn't until he was almost twelve that he finally found someone worth his attention and time. Her name was Ritsuka. She had dropped rather randomly into his life, knocking it a little slanted. He had welcomed her happily, her strange turn on things being almost perfect. Her smile was reassuring, her mind brilliant. He had talked to her as they had grown up, her non judgemental nature almost a drug to him. She had been exactly what he wanted, and she would be his. He would do anything for her.

She had grown rather beautifully, her hair long and shiny, though she never took the time to look after it, as if its beauty was completely natural. Her face had stretched a little, her girlish charms becoming more seductive, though she didn't mean it. Her eyes deepened with wisdom, so many life changing experiences happening.

But there lay one problem.

Kakashi.

He had almost ran to the highest part of Konoha and screamed his joys when Kakashi had left, leaving Ritsuka to be all his, just like he had planned.

But it somehow never turned out that way. She grew quiet, quick to lose her temper. She drew away from everyone, most of her free time spent training to the point where she would pass out, or alone and crying in her small empty flat. He had begged her to let him in, let him make her feel better, but she just didn't seem interested.

And it had broken his heart.

He hated Kakashi more than anything, wished that she had never met him. He didn't deserve her love.

Kentaro had deserved it.

He would do anything for her, anything. But she just didn't understand, and he couldn't explain it. A few months after Kakashi had left and she was slowly returning to normal, beginning to joke and laugh again, though it never touched her eyes. Those hollow and dead eyes that mocked Kentaro, mocked him with Kakashi's undeserved love.

He tried to talk about Kakashi to Ritsuka, but she would just close off completely, leaving him where he stood, confused. He had tried everything…

She would still listen to Kentaro, still offer him advice that was probably better than ever, but she just didn't seem to be interested in Kentaro sexually, and that was what he was really after. He had hinted and approached her, slid his arms around her and tried to kiss her, but she managed the situation so that they would bump heads or she would sneeze, cough or whatever to stop the moment, making a quick escape.

He had had enough.

It wasn't until Ritsuka had received news from the hokage that Kakashi was coming back that she finally began to properly be herself again. But he knew then that if he didn't make things go the right way, he would lose her to that fuck Kakashi forever. And so he had done what he had promised he would never do to the girl he loved more than anything.

He controlled her.

Forced her to do things she didn't want to do. Made her hurt her stupid crush deep in his heart, make him suffer for all the suffering Ritsuka had done. Made him almost cry with his vindictive scenes of affection that he forced Ritsuka to play out. And he loved every second of it. He loved controlling her, loved making her do exactly what he wanted without worrying about her leaving him.

And so he had snapped. His need and hunger grew too much, and so his power consumed him.

When he had had the chance, he killed his sensei and friend, because they had liked Ritsuka the way Kakashi did. He had not wanted to end their lives, but once he had started, he just couldn't stop. The blood, the control, the fear, he fed off of it all…

But none of them knew, none of them understood. None of them knew how wonderful Ritsuka really was, even she didn't.

But Kentaro knew. Kentaro knew what kept her awake at nights, knew what her favourite shampoo was, strawberry flavoured kids shampoo that she secretly bought at the shop around the corner from her house, knew what her favourite food was, chocolate-chip ice cream, knew what she enjoyed most when she felt down, standing in the rain and letting the water wash her sorrows away. He knew everything, and they knew nothing!

That was why they had to die. Kakashi especially.

And here he lay. In a cave dripping wet with a cold wind snapping at him, in the far north, rapped in the fur of an unsuspecting wolf he had found. He stared longingly at the stars.

"I'll find you again Ritsuka. I will be strong enough to keep you forever. Just you wait…"

**Herro! just a quick over view of Kentaro's life, and i mean quick. I'm sorry if it seems a bit shit, but i just threw it together so that people could make more sense of the inner workings of Kentaro. The chapter is a bit all over the place to represent kentaro's thinking and logic, how he is a bit scatter brained and obsessive. metally ill is maybe a better description. **

**We see here how he only sees Ritsuka as being worth his while, and easily gets rid of people that he sees as competition. Though Ritsuka had shown that she cared for Kentaro, she had never made any move sexually which was what had upset him most. Whatever she does would never be enough for him.**

**So hope some questions have been answered!**

**Thanks for reading again!**


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Ritsuka felt her body ache as she made her way home. She had really over done it this time. The only thing she seemed to be able to do these days was train. Anything else made her mind wander, making her remember certain events...

She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed a certain silver haired shinobi walk up behind her.

"A shinobi should always be aware of their surroundings... I'm sure I've said this before." Ritsuka had tried desperately not to look so shocked, but they both knew she had been frightened. Kakashi had been trying very hard to keep Ritsuka company recently, hoping that he could make it up to her again. He had been gone two years, and even though she had been laughing on their return to Konoha, she had disappeared into herself when they had come home.

"I... yeah you have." Her sad tone almost made Kakashi visibly cringe. Why couldn't he just say nice comforting things? Why did he have to lecture all the time? He had desperately been trying to show people more care, especially Ritsuka, but he was becoming more unapproachable than ever. He sighed loudly, his ongoing conflict evident in his eyes. "Are you okay?" Ritsuka's voice was soft and tired. The hint of tears was heard if you listened hard enough. He shook his head quickly, almost giving himself whiplash.

"No, no I'm fine. Are you okay?" the question took Ritsuka by surprise but she gave a small smile, happy to hear Kakashi was trying for her again.

"I feel better now that I'm not alone and left to my own thoughts." her smile faded, and the two knew exactly what she was thinking about. Ritsuka had been seeing a counsellor on the Hokage's orders, but she didn't seem to be getting any better. She blamed herself daily for the deaths, her mind running wild with self accusations. Kakashi had even popped into visit her at her flat a few times, noticing all her mirrors were missing. She couldn't even look at herself anymore. Kakashi looked to the sky to see the sun setting, signalling the end of another day. The thought of doing something nice for his friend had often played in his mind, but he never quite knew what. Maybe she would like to go away for a while, just the two of them, just to get away from the memories for a while. But what if it was the same for Ritsuka, what if Kakashi reminded her of the very memories he was trying to get her to forget. He sighed again, feeling his hope dwindle a little. He had to do something. Her solemn expression was driving him crazy. It didn't suit her at all... he missed her contagious laugh and incredible smile. It helped him get through the hard times.

"What do you think about... um... leaving for a while?" Ritsuka looked at Kakashi puzzled. "Just for a week or two, nothing too long... Just enough to... get away?" Ritsuka looked down at her feet, pondering on her friend's suggestion. She did really wish to get away from Konoha, but if she left, would she be able to come back? It might only make things harder. She also wasn't sure if Kakashi was offering a suggestion for her alone or if he meant for the both of them… which would change things. If Kakashi came then maybe it would be easier. They could talk, maybe even spend some time together... like the old days. It might rekindle her love for her home, remind her that not every memory in her life had to be a bad one.

"I don't know. It depends. Would you be coming along?" Ritsuka silently hoped his answer would be yes. Kakashi gave a small smile, though the action was lost since his mask was covering it.

"If you want." The answer was better than Ritsuka had imagined, though she couldn't help feel like he could have been more enthusiastic about spending time together. But all the same…

"Of course I do!" her mood visibly changed for the better. "When do you want to go?" Kakashi felt that he himself was feeling a little lighter.

"Well we will need to talk to the hokage, but I'm sure he'll understand. Where would you like to go?" the two then engaged in the longest conversation they had had for a long while. Too long in fact. And by the next morning, it had been settled and the two were heading out for a fortnights break.

Kakashi lay back in his bed with a smile tugging at his lips. It had been a long while since he had actually paid for accommodation, and not slept in a tent. And though he didn't mind camping, a comfortable bed was definitely much preferred. He found his mind wandering off to think about the first night he and Ritsuka had spent together in so long. He had forgotten how much she made him laugh with her goofy antics and really bad jokes. And her swearing had grown rather humorous to. She was so creative. He would find himself regularly wanting to spend every minute of every day with her, but knew that it wasn't possible. For so long he had wanted to tell her how he truly felt, but so many things just kept getting in the way. Surely he was due some proper happiness... no?

A knock at his door jerked him from his thoughts rather violently. He hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings, making him frown in annoyance. He jumped of his bed and made his way to the door, his pace increasing when he thought it may be Ritsuka. And to his great delight it was, though his expression changed quickly when he saw her in his doorway.

"Is it... *sniff* okay... If I *sniff sniff* stay with you for a bit?" her eyes were flooded with tears as they leaked out and down her face, dripping off her chin and into her hair. Kakashi stepped back letting the distraught girl into his room. He had no idea what to say and found himself standing looking at her with his mouth wide open. "I'm sorry it's just... *sniff* I was doing great until... *sniff cough* well and then... *cough* oh Kakashi, why doesn't it stop hurting!" she managed to blurt the last part out through her sobs, a pained expression on her face. She fell to her knees, her arms holding her body as it shook and convulsed with each violent sob. If there was anything that Ritsuka did that Kakashi hated, it was cry. He had not a clue of what to do, ever! It was very rare she would cry, or that he would see, and recently he had seen it too much. He just wanted to tear up all the things that upset her and stamp it into the ground violently until it all became dust, and then burn it all just to make sure it was gone. Maybe some kind of inter dimensional jutsu as well… just to be double sure.

"Come here." he finally said, Ritsuka moving swiftly from her almost foetal like position on the floor into his outstretched arms. He felt a pang in his heart as she clutched hard onto his t-shirt, screams threatening to leave her. She shook from the effort to hold everything back, but the time she and Kakashi had spent together being like they used to be just pushed her over the edge. She had never wanted it to end, and had been quite torn up about separating to different rooms. That was when she had realised just how alone she had been feeling, and how that void was still niggling at her insides, steadily growing each day. She couldn't help but break down, sending herself into a flood of emotion that was just too much to bear on her own.

Kakashi became a little more confident in his comforting and began to stroke his fingers through Ritsuka's hair, sending shivers down her back. His touch was enough to make her purr in pleasure, though her crying made it sound like muffled sobs of pain. He then began to rub his other hand against her back, sending jolts of a strange feeling around her body. She found herself pulling him closer to her, listening hard to his heartbeat. The steady beat calming her, making her tears fall away, literally. She needed this, needed to feel loved, like she mattered, without people dying at her expense. She needed to feel!! Feel anything! She needed Kakashi to love her…His voice as he spoke jerked her back to reality.

"Why don't we sit down." and with that he lead her over to his bed, sitting down and pulling gently on Ritsuka's wrist to make her sit next to him. He then slinked his arm around her side allowing her head to rest against his chest again. It wasn't the comfiest position he had ever been in, but it was better than standing. He continued to pull his fingers softly through her hair, whispering comforting words to her as she calmed down even more.

"Sorry!" she managed to choke out, her hands rubbing at her eyes, desperately trying to reclaim control. This only set her off again, making Kakashi wonder if she would ever stop. His eyes softened as she looked at him expectantly, as if asking him to fix this. He only lowered his head, annoyed at his uselessness. Ritsuka then cuddled closer to her friend, pulling her legs up so she was curled up in a ball next to Kakashi. She slowly began to calm down again, her breath evening out.

"It's okay. I'm here. Do you want to talk about it?" he had tried to avoid the question, but he couldn't help but want to know... maybe he could help?

"It's okay... you kinda already know it all... I just... I missed you so much!" her voice cracked and sent her into another wave of tears, making Kakashi almost jump back in surprise.

Was this his fault?

Of course it was! He had just avoided her for so long when he should have stuck with her through their tough time... not his... theirs! She needed him just as much as he needed her but he was far too stubborn. Talking about how he felt all the time before leaving her without a word. He hugged Ritsuka tightly, placing his head softly on her shoulder. His mind was racing. He had hurt the only person he had left…

"I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry!!" he pleaded for forgiveness making it Ritsuka's turn to pull back in surprise. Ritsuka had forgiven him anyway, but he needed to hear her say it.

"It's fine. I understand." but it wasn't good enough. Kakashi was spiralling into despair. Her sobs were too much for him as it was, never mind them being his fault. He was now clutching so tightly that Ritsuka had to really try to pull back to look him in the eye. "Honestly. I'm fine. Just a little emotional..." she forced a laugh, hoping to bring Kakashi from depression. He smiled softly under his mask. She really was the best person he had ever met.

"Ah..." he answered, unsure of what to do next. But before he could think of anything, Ritsuka asked:

"Can I stay with you tonight?" the question hung in the air, silence taking them both. Kakashi had longed for her touch, but would he be able to keep himself at bay. With her being so fragile he could screw everything up so easily. But even so, he couldn't say no. She needed him and he had vowed to stay by her no matter what.

"Sure." he found himself saying, his mouth taking matters into its own control. Ritsuka beamed, her snotty nose shining in the moonlight. She giggled a little as she jumped off the bed, embarrassed, and headed into the bathroom. Kakashi watched as she left, admiring how pretty she was. Her perfect figure was enough alone to send him into the world of bliss, but her brilliant personality had him captivated. He couldn't imagine a day without her, and deeply regretted the past couple of months, a dull pang pulling at his heart. He lay back in his bed, waiting patiently for her return. His mind wandered into dirty territory…

Ritsuka bustled about the bathroom cleaning herself up. She cursed her carefree attitude when she cried, wiping some snot that had managed to get on her forehead when she had pushed her hair back in frustration earlier. She sighed as she looked at a very puffy and red Ritsuka in the mirror, lifting her middle finger up at herself in rage. She'd give anything to be prettier. Her features annoyed her greatly, now and again sending her into a fit of rage. But tonight she would have to contain it. She didn't want Kakashi coming in to find her trying to rip her own face off. She laughed at the thought. Plus he probably didn't want to have to pay for a the mirror she had ripped from the wall and smashed… She then stopped in her tracks, realising what was going to happen tonight. She was going to sleep with Kakashi, the man she had secretly loved for years, well when she said secretly, it was really just a secret from Kakashi it would seem. She had done this before, but when they were younger and when it was necessary for survival and the odd time he would be comforting her. She very much missed his warmth at night.

**Herro everyone! this was originally a ten page chapter, so i have had to cut it here to seperate it out a little. This was the best place, and i didn't want to post the next chaper with only half of it one day and the other half anoher and you'll see why! I hate when some fics do that on such a critical moment so... I'm not going to do it to you guys!**

**The chapter everyone has really been waiting for is next, so at some point tomoro it will be up! hazzah!**

**I hope you like it XD**

**And i promise Ritsuka will get better! i hope she doesen't seem to much of a pain in the ass to everyone, it's just she's going through a tough time just now... poor lass... i'm so mean!**

**Well take care guys! and until tomoro! XD**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Kakashi tensed when he heard the bathroom door open and watched Ritsuka's figure make her way over to the bed timidly in the moonlight. Kakashi sat up pulling the covers down so that both of them could snuggle into the bed. Ritsuka slinked in, her body rubbing against Kakashi's rather nicely. He held in his gasp. She then shuffled around a bit getting comfortable, making Kakashi laugh softly. She stopped abruptly.

"Heh sorry... just a bit restless." she reasoned, feeling like a burden all of a sudden. Kakashi just laughed again, sliding his arm over her side, pulling her flush against his own body. His mind went crazy as his body acted of its own accord, ignoring his self lecturing. Ritsuka seemed to relax, turning to cuddle into Kakashi. She felt a tear run down her cheek, making her grunt in annoyance. "Stupid eyes" she muttered wiping it away. A few seconds past and another tear escaped her to run across her nose, but before she could get it Kakashi had placed a finger gently in front of the tear, effectively catching it and flicking it away. She almost screamed when he touched her next. This time it was his soft lips pressed against the tip of her nose, as he was trailing another tear to just under her eye. She only faintly noticed how he wasn't wearing his mask as she felt herself melt from the inside out. "Kakashi?" she asked tentatively, hoping this wasn't a dream. He pulled back suddenly, as if Ritsuka had shouted. He sat up, rubbing his hand through his hair, and looked away from her, returning his mask to its rightful place. He needed to clear his thoughts.

"I uh... Sorry..." he muttered. Silence befell the room, making Kakashi's heart ache. He had crossed a line and he knew it. At any moment she was going to disappear off to her room, leaving him alone and broken. What a fool he had been…

Kakashi was, however, pleasantly surprised to feel Ritsuka sit up behind him and place her hands shakily on his shoulders. He sighed and leant back slightly, Ritsuka pressing her forehead against the back of his head, enjoying the tickly and tingly feeling his hair left on her skin.

"It's okay Kakashi... It's okay." she said softly. The way his name rolled off her tongue could make Kakashi turn to putty in her hands. They both sat still for a minute, each waiting for the other to do something. Kakashi's body took control again as he spun round swiftly, catching Ritsuka's chin with his index finger. He lowered his mask as he raised her chin slowly, their lips gradually getting closer and closer. Ritsuka took this moment to admire just how beautiful the silver haired shinobi looked without his mask, and how much he had grown over the last couple of years. His childish face had stretched out a little, which had done wonders for his looks. And before each of them had time to fully process what was happening, their lips had touched, shivers jolting through the pair.

The two kissed softly at first, their hands sitting at their sides on the bed. This was the first time either had enjoyed a proper kiss, Ritsuka not really remembering or having really taken part in her kissing of Kentaro, so it was a little shaky and hesitant. Then when they felt more sure of themselves, Kakashi applied a little more pressure earning an excited moan from Ritsuka. He smiled into the kiss causing Ritsuka to blush. She hadn't meant that to be as loud as it was.

Kakashi then stuck his tongue out tentatively, and ran it along her bottom lip, requesting entrance. Ritsuka felt her arms give way a little as she opened her mouth slightly, his tongue delving in to taste her. It was Kakashi's turn to moan this time, but it was quiet and low, almost like a growl. Ritsuka felt herself heating up, her body tingling with anticipation. Kakashi's hands had now found their way to her sides, applying a little pressure as he stroked his fingers up and down her back a little. The two wrapped themselves up in each other desperately, years of want and need ebbing out. Their kiss became more forceful, their hands now frantically feeling each other's bodies, as if to memorise them.

Ritsuka suddenly found herself on her back, Kakashi pressing his body against hers suggestively. Ritsuka let out a moan and he ground into her slowly. He felt himself close to bursting as he continued his ministrations. Never had he been so close to another human being, never mind to be doing this sort of thing. He let out another moan, sending chills up Ritsuka's back. How she loved the silver haired shinobi. Passion and lust licked through her veins, her blood scorching her sensitive skin, her body pushing back against Kakashi's. Her lower regions tugged weirdly as she felt a heat building up, her mind running wild with possible outcomes of Kakashi's quick work. And she wasn't scared, in fact, she felt that she needed this, wanted it much more than she had first realised.

Kakashi suddenly stopped, pulling himself away. Ritsuka grew very confused at the sudden cool air that had replaced her dear friend, but this soon escalated into fear. Had she done something wrong? Did she offend him? Had she moaned at the wrong time? Or did it sound like a moan of annoyance? Had Kakashi gotten the wrong idea?

"Kakashi?" she asked nervously, not sure is she really wanted to know what was wrong. Kakashi seemed deep in thought, well more like he was deep in battle. His eyebrows were knitted and his knuckles were white with strain in their fists.

"I… lost control." He simply stated before lying back in the bed, careful not touch Ritsuka's burning body.

"It's okay I -" Ritsuka began to say, but Kakashi butt in.

"It's not okay… I'm sorry… A shinobi should never lose control of himself. Your not old enough yet…" Ritsuka grew frustrated as she sat up, her body aching for his contact again. He had no idea how she felt…

"Kakashi! God dammit. This is ridiculous! I appreciate you trying to do the right thing all the time, but come on! For a moment there I thought we were finally on track. That we had finally clicked and then you have to go and throw honour and shit into it. Not everything is dictated by rules, and there's nothing wrong in letting yourself go. Both of us want this so why can't it happen?" Ritsuka, felt her throat constrict as her tears returned, burning the corners of her eyes. "Fuck!" Her voice was strained. She wiped furiously at her eyes. Kakashi seemed confused and flinched as she spoke.

"You sure this is what you want? What if I just got you all... well… you know… and now you just think you want it? Not that we were going to have um… sex… but you know I probably would have just went ahead without asking… not that I would have really but you know what I mean… it's just so... and… you're fifteen…" Ritsuka's finger, which was now pressed against his slightly bruised lips, stopped him from saying much more

"Stop analysing everything. And for someone who thinks highly of himself as being quite observant, you're a fool! You can't decide all this stuff without my view so chill out! Age is just a number, and if we were to go by my mental age, I've been a virgin for far too long!" Ritsuka laughed sadly at herself, at the situation, but stopped immediately when Kakashi's eyes looked away in pain. "I just don't get how you can't see how much I care about you, and not just as a friend. For so long…" Kakashi waited no longer for her explanation as he pulled her towards him with careful but strong force. His mind almost walked out his ear in defiance at the law he was about to break, but his happiness over her purity still being intact and her confession had him not caring anymore. Wasn't that what he had been trying to do? Start doing things because they were right and good, not because some law or rule said so? This felt right, had felt right for a long time. Ritsuka felt her heart skip a beat in the passion of the moment and let herself become Kakashi's own. He didn't need to say anything as he ravaged Ritsuka completely.

Their bodies intertwined with each other's. The heat that seemed to generate caused the two to feel the passion increase. Kakashi's hands were becoming more needy and erratic. Ritsuka's mind was racing as she tried to grasp what was happening, but her body was so hot! She wanted him, no… she needed him! NOW!

Kakashi was surprised when he felt cool air tickle his back and his vision go as Ritsuka rather roughly pulled his t-shirt off. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks as the skin of his bare chest burned with her speculating gaze. From what he could see, she seemed in awe, which was silly. He had seen other men, and he didn't feel he looked much different. But he supposed that being straight didn't help him see it from her point of view. A strange feeling took over him as her look of awe changed to hunger, and her lips were doing brilliant things to his now very sensitive skin. He felt his mouth fall open and his breath become laboured as she nibbled and licked her way up to his neck, jolts of pleasure soaring through him painfully. Once her teeth had grazed his ear lobe, he felt the world melt away, and barely registered the muffled 'eep' that escaped Ritsuka as he pinned her to the bed.

Ritsuka let a sigh out as she felt Kakashi's random and desperate kisses travel down her face, frustratingly missing her lips, and down her neck. Her back arched more the further he continued down, stopping only where her clothes annoyingly still sat, her mind almost exploding from the overwhelming pleasure. She found herself breathing out random bits of his name, not in any specific order, and blushed when she saw the smile that graced her soon to be lover's lips. She threw her head back as he began to climb again, but this time as he placed his lips on hers rather roughly, his hips crushed down on hers, making her body push back uncontrollably. Her hands were roaming all over his bare back, sending Kakashi into a bit of a grinding frenzy. Her nails scored him, but it was surprisingly a rather arousing combination of pain and pleasure.

Kakashi had wanted to so very much make this last as long as possible, but was beginning to doubt it. With some extreme control that he had no idea he still had, he held Ritsuka's hips still as he sat back, calming himself as he watched her squirm rather comically.

"Hatake! Damnit! You better not be having a morality complex or I'm going to beat you within and inch of your life and rape you!" Kakashi laughed at her explosion, her giggles following his. But he had to take a few moments to get himself back to normal, or he would waste their time.

He was doing great at slowing his breath until she moaned his name out, frustration evident in her voice, and before he knew what he was doing, Ritsuka's upper clothing was being tossed uncaringly somewhere onto the floor.

Ritsuka yelped at the sudden force, but laughed slightly as she realised with relief that Kakashi was in just as bad a state as she was. The blush that was now covering his rather shocked face was beyond cute, but she could never tell him that. She felt his hands unsurely graze her skin, his eyes taking the sight of her in, which weirded her out a little. She had never really experienced someone so openly examining her with such sexual intensity that it was beginning to bring doubts to her mind.

_What if Kakashi deserves better? I know plenty of other girls who are much prettier, I'm just being so selfish… What if I was the one that forced him? What if he's disgusted by what he sees? What if he never-_

Kakashi lips on hers pulled her violently back to reality, and his course yet smooth fingers pushed any doubt from her mind completely.

_What am I saying? Kakashi started this so who cares!_ Was all she thought as she wound her arms around Kakashi's strong muscled shoulders, her fingers pushing up his neck and into his hair, pulling slightly when he done something that aroused her greatly.

Kakashi started thrusting against her again, enjoying the profanities that left her mouth breathlessly. He would always frown on her swearing, but right now it was such a turn on. He felt himself soon coming to a finish again, and frustratedly pulled himself away, distracting himself with repositioning himself.

Ritsuka lay in a crumpled panting heap below him, and Kakashi found himself chuckling softly as he pulled her up into a sitting position. He spun her round expertly, taking the moment to collect himself. He placed her in between his legs, careful to keep her away from his now aching erection, and attempted to take off her bra in the dark with one hand, while cupping one of her breasts lightly with the other. He took a moment to appreciate how full she felt in his hand, and smiled at his luck. Ritsuka relaxed her head back, a small smile playing on her lips. After a few moments of fiddling, Kakashi had finally completed his mission, and discarded the unnecessarily difficult to remove garment. He then used his now free hand to toy with her other breast, making Ritsuka sigh lightly. She turned her head so that she could now bite at Kakashi's neck, distracting him slightly. His fingers began to pay special attention to her now solid nipples, effectively rendering her useless as she began to squirm.

"Shhiiit…" her breathy voice only added confidence to the inexperienced Kakashi, and he thought of all the things he had read about woman, and noted to himself that he would have to thank Jiraiya for forcing him to read one of his perverted books. Who would have known they would have been so useful. He then began to stroke one of his hands down her side, using his nails to trail red lines on her skin. They quickly turned white, and Kakashi smiled with satisfaction.

Ritsuka felt her body fall limply on Kakashi, and she was too far gone to feel embarrassed anymore. When she felt his fingers scrape her side, she almost lost control. Such a simple action having such a profound affect on her would have had her laughing. And she would have done had Kakashi not slipped his hand so directly down her body, straight under her trousers and into her pants, his fingers finding exactly what he was looking for.

Kakashi felt Ritsuka tense, and she placed her hands roughly on his thighs as she arched her back. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened in shock, her head pressed almost painfully down on his shoulder. However it was the moan that left her lips that spurred Kakashi on, the raw sound of pleasure that had him twitching in anticipation. Sighing contentedly, he moved his fingers around, and judging by her increased squirming and noises, he was doing the right stuff. He continued to play with her nipples as well, causing Ritsuka to buck and moan louder.

Soon, the whole experience was just too much for him and he had Ritsuka underneath him again. In that time he had managed to remove the rest of her clothing, and she lay on the bed blushing madly. He smirked knowingly, and leaned down, his lips tickling her ear as he spoke in husky voice

"You look awesome." His voice alone was enough to have Ritsuka screaming for more. His words didn't really hit her until after the whole affair.

Kakashi made work of getting himself ready, but stopped as a horrible thought occurred to him.

_I don't have any condoms!_

Ritsuka noticed his panicked expression, and lifted herself onto her elbows.

"S'up?" she asked, her voice a lot quieter than usual. Kakashi merely blushed and started to dress himself again. Panic set in, and Ritsuka's hands dived to cover herself up.

_Oh gawd! He hates me…_

"We can't do anything without protection. It would be impossible if we got you pregnant." Ritsuka felt herself visibly relax and her heart swell at the word we. She had no idea why it had such a profound effect on her, but she found tears escaping her. "Ah! No! Don't cry! I swear it's not you it's just we can't -" Ritsuka's laugh caught him off guard.

"It's okay! I was just… never mind… look there's public toilets around, we could go see if the dirty machines are working?" Kakashi frowned at the thought of being caught trying to do such a thing, and her use of the word dirty didn't help, but Ritsuka was up and getting dressed again, her desperation clear in her speed. She smiled knowingly as she slipped out the room, "I'll do it." and giggled as she closed the door behind her.

Kakashi waited patiently in his room, fiddling with the ties in his trousers. He noticed how her bra was still lying on the floor, excitement growing in him as he imagined the girl running down the stairs almost fully commando, bouncing and… He was seriously considering sorting himself out before Ritsuka came back; probably lasting longer the second time round, but blushed at the thought of her returning and catching him. He sighed frustratedly as he felt his still erect member twitch as images of Ritsuka flashed through his mind, none of which were decent. He was so god damn hot it was ridiculous. The heat from him could probably melt ice bergs within seconds.

What if it was raining? Would she be cold, but worry soon turned again to arousal as he thought of her wet from the rain, her clothes sticking to her form deliciously as she jogged around looking for… oh god…

As time ticked by he felt himself grow restless. What if something had gone wrong and he was uselessly up here waiting, what if Ritsuka needed him, or someone was giving her hassle. Before his mind could go much further, a rather triumphant looking Ritsuka hurried back into the room, laughter shining in her eyes.

"Got some!" she chimed, removing her clothing as she approached the now grinning Kakashi. "Though I had to try the guy's toilets!" her giggle made Kakashi smile, but he quickly replaced it with mock disgust. "Oh don't start! I got 'em didn't I?" she played along.

She kept her pants on as she climbed onto Kakashi's lap, her lips crashing wantonly onto his. The two made quick work of removing Kakashi's trousers and boxers, his frown returning when Ritsuka stopped to stare at him. He definitely did not expect what she said next. "You're… how is that… your gonna rip me to bloody shreds!" Kakashi had to stop and contemplate that maybe he was going deaf. Did he hear her right?

"I'm sorry?" he asked, confusion clearly evident. Ritsuka just pointed at his erection, an unbelieving look on her face.

"That ain't fitting in my _mouth_ never mind my -" Kakashi cut her off with his hand placed firmly over her mouth, a stern look on his face, not sure if he ever wanted to hear Ritsuka say thing's like vagina. He sighed as he looked at her awkwardly.

"It's supposed to hurt though, isn't it? You'll get used to it." Ritsuka looked at him, a bit sceptical as he quickly added innocently, "So I've heard anyway… Look. We don't have to do it if you're uncomfortable." Ritsuka shook her head.

"Yeah its said to hurt! Not tear me a new hole." His hand hadn't been quick enough, but strangely, he found himself liking it. He shook his head, a little annoyed at her being over dramatic, he wasn't that big… was he? He'd never really checked.

"If it gets too bad we can just stop, and don't get all martyr on me, pretending it's fine when it's not… but I'm sure we'll be fine. " As he reassured her, he brought his hands to cup her now unconvinced looking face. She smiled though, willing to give it a go. And without further panic, he had pushed her onto her back again, making quick work of bringing her close to finish. He took the condom she was currently waving in his face, and placed it on, feeling a little vulnerable under her gaze. She licked her lips and smiled hugely as Kakashi crawled onto her again, and prepared himself. "Are you ready?" he asked, his breath tickling her neck as he spoke. She nodded frantically offering a smile of assurance.

Ritsuka's mind was going crazy. She knew this was going to be agony, but she had to let Kakashi know she was okay or she would be a virgin, or worse, half virgin for the rest of her life. How would she explain being half? She closed her eyes, preparing not to scream.

Kakashi started nibbling and sucking at her ear.

_I am a Konoha shinobi, and I have been through so much worse pain, so everything will be just –_

"Ah! Fuckin' hell!" she bit her lip hard, the taste of blood distracting her, but only slightly. Kakashi stopped after he had pushed in only a little. "Go, go!!" She hissed loudly as her eyes screwed shut tighter. Kakashi felt a pang of guilt as he continued to push in, though it was proving to be rather difficult. She was tight! "Ah! Just… can't you just shove it in all the way? Ah! Get it over with? Fuck! Man!" she was currently hitting her head off the pillows, and Kakashi looked up to see tears forming in her eyes, deciding it was probably best. So without much more thought, he pushed as hard as he could until he was all the way in. The chocked out cry that came from Ritsuka had him retracting a bit, but she pushed her hips downwards, stopping him from coming out.

"Just give it… a second" she managed to say through staggered breath. "I'll get used to it." Kakashi waited, rubbing Ritsuka's face with the back of his hand, removing her tears. He started whispering reassurances into her ear, and then started to lick and kiss his way to her lips. He kissed her slowly, passionately, hoping to take away all her pain. He could feel her adjusting around him, her body relaxing thankfully. "OK go." She said between kisses, her smile returning to here lips.

"You sure? I don't want -" Ritsuka silenced him with a hungry kiss, moving herself best she could to get Kakashi going. He couldn't control himself anymore as he began to slide in and out of Ritsuka, the heat that engulfed him sending him to a place of euphoria.

Ritsuka wasn't having such a great time. Her lower regions felt like they were burning, and tearing. She was pretty sure she was bleeding to. But she had been told to just stick it out, that it was normal… but gawd! Did it have to be so sore? She screwed her eyes shut, waiting for the brilliant feeling she'd heard of, but it didn't seem to be making its appearance. She tried to angle herself differently, but it just seemed to send more pain through her. Kakashi seemed to slow down, worry setting in. She plastered her smile back on.

"Keep going! It's getting easier, really." He didn't seem convinced, but continued keeping it slow until she started to enjoy it. His breath was becoming laboured, and his control on his speed was failing. She better start screaming in pleasure soon or he was going to have to go for a cold shower. He couldn't stand the strangled sobs that were leaving her.

Kakashi then sat up slightly so he was leaning on his hands, changing his angle a little to something more comfortable. Ritsuka's face screwed up a little at first, but then relaxed as her mouth fell open slightly. A wave of relief came over him as he began to increase his pace slightly, testing the waters. He then bent down and began to lick and tease her nipples, earning a strangled cry for more. Her cries were gradually changing from sobs to moans, and he could feel her pushing back against his thrusts. His mind started to race when her hands snaked round his body, pulling him flush against her, nails digging deep into his skin.

Ritsuka felt the pain start to subside, Kakashi's strokes becoming much more manageable. She felt herself relax into the rhythmic movement, her hands groping at him to go faster. A small spark of pleasure was slowly increasing in intensity, travelling down her legs and up her spine. She felt her back arch at the contact of his teeth on her breasts, her hips moving to meet Kakashi's. Desperation was setting in as she felt her throat go dry as her breath grew hoarse.

"Kakashi… faster…" she managed to mutter earning a moan from Kakashi. How he loved that husky needy voice of hers. Kakashi began to increase his pace gradually, smiling madly when Ritsuka's hands flew back to the headboard of the bed to steady herself. Her fingers rapped round the bars of the metal frame, her knuckles going white with the strain. Kakashi lifted her hips up slightly, angling her differently again.

Ritsuka saw stars as Kakashi began to rub against something inside her. Bolts of pleasure racked her body as she desperately tried to stay calm, not wanting it to end so quickly. Kakashi's pants were increasing in pace and volume, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He too, was near the end.

Ritsuka felt her body seize up as her legs wrapped painfully around Kakashi's thighs, her head thrown back as a string of profanities left her. Kakashi felt her inner walls clamp down on him, pulling his own climax from him violently. He wasn't as vocal as Ritsuka, though his low moan could be heard when she took a breath to start another onslaught of filth.

The two lay very still for a long while, sleep tugging at them both. Kakashi was the first to speak,

"See, it wasn't that bad was it?" The rhetorical question hung in the air, making Ritsuka laugh breathlessly.

"Oh yeah, just a few minutes of torture…" she laughed again but quickly added at the guilty look on Kakashi's face "But I wouldn't have traded it for the world!" She kissed him hard, as if trying to physically remove any bad feeling Kakashi had from him. He returned the kiss passionately, trying not to get himself going again.

"We should probably, um… disengage." The strange term had Ritsuka giggling, and to her relief Kakashi's laugh danced with hers. The two separated and Ritsuka made some squelching noises with her mouth to bring some humour to the silence. Kakashi pushed her lightly, rolling his eyes mockingly. "You never change Kurosaki."

Kakashi made to go for a shower when he noticed Ritsuka turning over and pulling the covers up. He just stared unsure of what to say.

"Um… Aren't you gonna…" He pointed unsurely at her lower regions, hoping his unspoken words would be realised. Ritsuka huffed as she jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

"Fine! You've knackered me out, but hey I'll still go for a shower, it's cool!" she continued to mutter her annoyance as she turned the water on and stepped into the shower. "You coming in or what?" Ritsuka offhandedly asked. Kakashi had to try very hard to stop himself from lecturing his new lover on the hygiene issues that were being breeched at this point, but decided to swallow it and enjoy her company.

Needless to say that Ritsuka had no intensions of getting washed, well, not until she had had her fun… again.

**Whew! as you can imagine i loved doing this chapter!! I tried to keep Kakashi and Ritsuka's friendship strong, with Ritsuka taunts and Kakashi's amusement at her child-likeness, though i tried to keep his constant battle with rules etc. with him. I also tried to make the whole experience believable, more realistic than the perfect situation that you were probably all expecting. I laughed a couple of times at my cruel truths of how awkward and sore sex can be, and i hope i have portrayed that.**

**Plus with the whole condom panic, amused me a little XD It's not like they would be carrying any one them since its not exactly what they were expecting to do...**

**So yes, let me know how it went, and thanks again for reading. I hope you didn't blush reading it as much as i did writing it XD**

**Ps. We have two weeks of their holiday to work with here, so i can either spend time just riting some more smut plus a little extra now and then through out the rest of the tale, or we can carry on with the story, a couple of smutty chapters here and there in the near future? let me know what you guys are up for, it's all good for me!**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Kakashi woke, feeling a little groggy. He didn't become aware of the weight on his chest until he tried to sit up, and only remembered the night before's events when he looked at the sleeping form of Ritsuka lying on him. He gently lay back down, hoping not to ruin the moment by waking her.

Her arm was around his waste, holding him tightly as she snored lightly. Her legs were tangled about his, and he blushed as he realised they were both still completely naked. He hadn't even taken the time to put his mask back on, not that Ritsuka would have let him of course.

He sighed contentedly as he subconsciously pulled Ritsuka closer to him, and inwardly cursed as her eyes flickered open and she yawned herself awake.

"Sorry." He mumbled, pulling at the covers so that she would get the hint and stay put. Ritsuka seemed to be bothered by something however. "What's up?" Kakashi asked, fear evident in his voice.

"We did have sex last night didn't we?" Kakashi nodded, unsure where she was going with this. Should he have said no? "Thank gawd! I was worrying that it was just another dream - " she cut herself off with a blush as she let the word 'another' slip, meaning she had just confessed to some sexual dreams of Kakashi, to Kakashi! "Not that I do it often… or even at all! I don't know what you're talking about! Kakashi, your crazy!" She sat up quickly, only then realising her current unclothed state. "Oh dear…" Kakashi had been trying very hard up until now not to laugh. Her confession was flattering more than anything, if not a little creepy. She was just so damn cute!

"Don't get up. It's still morning." He yanked her back so that she was as she was before she woke up, but Ritsuka was adamant to be uncooperative today.

"But we're naked!" she whined and smirked, knowing that she was annoying Kakashi.

"Just lie down before I make you." He said, with a threatening tone to his voice. Ritsuka liked it.

"You promise?" Kakashi blushed but kept his face straight.

"Tch! Ritsuka…" he hissed, feeling himself beginning to heat up. She was so dirty it was a sin…

"What?" she mused, knowing exactly what she was doing. "What if I were to steal all the covers and get off the bed? What would you do?" She crooned as she began to tug at the covers. Kakashi slapped his hand down on them desperately, his blush increasing.

"Stop it. It's weird." He simply stated as he turned to look through the gaps in the curtain. Controlling his blush and urges was hard. Very hard…

"Weird? I guess that's not really what I was going for…" She sat in thought as she continued to tug at the covers, earning a scowl from Kakashi.

"Yes weird! I remember when you were a kid, so this dirty talk, it just isn't… like you." He turned away again, feeling frustration build. She was so annoying.

"What?! You think of me as a kid… that's not healthy, or right, especially when we have sex." She knew she was pushing it, but it was just too much fun. Plus, she wanted to be punished… Kakashi whirled his head round, shock and disgust clearly evident.

"I never said I… there is something wrong with your dirty sick mind…" he scowled at Ritsuka, as if daring her to continue. And she did, naturally. "It's that Jiraiya isn't it. Have you been listening to him? Reading his books?"

"Books? What are you… anyway! It's not me who thinks bout kids…" She chimed taking his moment of disgust to whip the covers from him and slide along the bed. His hands immediately went to cover himself as he flustered for a good come back.

"Just shut up. You're twisting my words, trying to annoy me. But you won't." His act of defiance brought an almost sadistic smile onto her face.

"Wait 'til Gai hears about your knew found love for the springtime of youth!" Kakashi snapped. He grabbed at her wrist and pulled her over to him. He wasn't angry. No, not at all. He was actually enjoying the friendly but strange banter they were sharing, but he wasn't about to let her get away with speaking to him like that. He knew she wouldn't tell anyone anything. Stupid Gai…

Ritsuka yelped as the insanely strong man pulled her so she was flush against him. She felt her face heat, and for a moment she thought she were about to die. But when his hand had slinked down and grabbed her somewhere unexpected, she threw her head back and moaned loudly. Oh she liked this very much. Pissing Kakashi off was a must do!

Kakashi made quick work of exciting Ritsuka, biting, nibbling and rubbing hard on the places he know would have her screaming for more. He pushed her violently back onto the bed, tracing his tongue down her body. She bucked against him having lost herself moments earlier. When he reached down to her lower regions her eyes flew open in shock. This was totally so much better than she had hoped.

Tentatively he licked her, earning a strained moan. He smiled as he continued his ministrations, chuckling lightly when he heard her moans increase. When he was sure she was about to reach her climax, he sat back suddenly, wiped his mouth and went to the bathroom locking the door.

It took a few moments before Ritsuka realised he had stopped, and the cool air now assaulting her lower areas brought the realisation down on her. Hard.

_That prick!!_

Kakashi smirked as he heard the door of the bathroom being violently kicked. That's what she gets.

Kakashi spent the rest of the day trying to get Ritsuka to talk to him. She still seemed rather flustered when he had went to her room to find her. She had experienced the coldest shower she had had for a while, and her mood was worsening as she felt increasingly more sorry for herself.

"I've created a monster." She had sighed as she dried herself and got into some new clothes; many revenge plans unfolding in her mind. She pushed the idea that she really had it coming to the very depths of her mind, feeling Kakashi was fully deserving of some cold revenge.

She dressed in the most revealing clothes she had, but then decided the short towel she had before was probably best, and would seem a little less suspicious. She was going to have him begging by the end of the night. She waited sourly for Kakashi to knock on her door to check on her but he took his sweet ass time. By the time he had finally arrived she was shivering madly and her hair was almost dry. She cursed as she tripped over something on the floor as she stomped her way to the door, opening it fully so he would see her almost nakedness.

Kakashi's breath caught in his throat as he realised he was going to deeply regret his poor choice of payback.

"What?" was her stern but playful reply, a sparkle in her eye that unnerved him a little.

_Just keep cool! _He had told himself over and over.

"Bre- um… Breakfast?" his stumbling of words didn't turn out as cool as he would have hoped. Damn she was distracting. He rubbed his hand through his hair, mentally cursing himself again. She was like poison, he concluded, putting him all out of sorts the way she did. He waited patiently for her answer.

"Maybe…" She looked around as if bored. Kakashi visibly slumped. Oh boy…

Ritsuka finally agreed to join him for breakfast, deciding to going commando to see if he would notice. She smiled wickedly, when she caught him shaking his head to right himself again when he thought she wasn't looking. Ritsuka was having far too much fun when they found a small place to eat, rubbing her foot up and down his legs, watching his visible eye strain with self control.

Kakashi was ready for kicking her ass when they left, him paying for the bill of course. He muttered as they started to walk around in the sun, Ritsuka bouncing freely. He sighed for what felt like the millionth time and tried to concentrate on something else.

The day stretched out longer than Kakashi would have liked. Ritsuka seemed to be more talkative, until she remembered they weren't on good terms, apparently, and then would forget all over again. By the time night fell, she had quickly said goodbye, diving into her room and locking the door before he could stop her. He had caught the wicked smirk on her face as she did, his mind going crazy on what to do next. He could fiddle about with the lock, breaking into her room or use the windows. The latter seemed like a much better idea indeed. And without further thought, he jumped into his room, his own plan unfolding nicely.

Ritsuka sat down on the bed, a strange unsatisfied feeling tugging at her. She had made him suffer, but when should she stop? When would she be sure he had suffered enough? She wanted to kiss him, grab his hair and make him moan as she did torturing good things to him, but he seemed to be holding himself fine! Didn't he care?

She had felt his chakra signature disappear into his room, as if he wasn't even going to follow her. She felt slightly guilty. Had she taken it too far? She had really been the one who had started it. Oh she was a fool…

Ritsuka paced the length of her room as she planned her grovelling apology, and felt sick. He would never let it drop if she crawled back to him, reminding her of the day she had begged him to fuck her… when had she become so hooked? Who would have known that once the body had experienced such rapture, you would crave it at almost every breath? Ritsuka sighed as she flopped onto her bed, her mind running wild with panic.

"You are one stubborn girl!" she almost screamed in delight as his low husky voice reached her from the now opening window of her room. She kept her face straight however, hoping to keep the pretence up. She felt stupid for doing it, but her pride was on the line here!

Sex or pride? Sex of pride? Oh it was too hard…

Kakashi dropped from the ledge and closed the window behind him with a soft thump. He stood looking at Ritsuka strangely, trying to analyse her. He felt rather out of place in her cold stare. And there it was, what he had been looking for. The little glint in her eye and the tell tale twitch at the side of her luscious lips, the signs that she was taking a joke too far…

"S'up?" she rolled onto her front, her top falling just enough for…oh dear god she was good at this…

Kakashi smiled as he sat on the corner of her bed, his fingers touching her hair lightly. So soft. He wished he had paid more attention to her last night, but the heat of the moment had him confused and focussing only on one thing. But tonight? Tonight would be different. He would take it slow, make her feel his love, make sure that he touched and explored every inch of her body, make her buck against him, scream his name. Kakashi's mouth went dry at the sheer thought.

Ritsuka almost purred as Kakashi brushed her hair, tingling sensations running through her like an electric current. Gad she couldn't take anymore…

Kakashi sensed her frustration. He to was feeling it, so he bent down and kissed the top of her head, lifting her arm and pulling her up from the bed so that they were now standing; their bodies were flush against each other, the delicious friction hot and needy. Ritsuka was tall for a girl, though probably not the tallest he knew. The top of her head came to about his chin, which meant that her head rested on his shoulder, just at his neck, the perfect fit as if they had been made as two jigsaw pieces in a rather easy puzzle.

Kakashi lips found hers quickly, his kisses slow and delicate, though a certain desperate passion could be tasted. He was taking this slow, and Ritsuka would let him. She would let him do what he liked, and would try her best to make this more enjoyable than last night. She followed his rhythm, her tongue dancing with his, a deliberate determination. Kakashi's hands rested on her hips, his mind slowing and cooling as he tried to calm himself before he lost control.

Ritsuka felt Kakashi change his weight, pushing her backwards until she touched the wall. He gently pushed her against it, his tongue doing wonders in her mouth. She felt him touch her pallet, her eye lids fluttering with arousal. He was too good for someone who was just as new to this and her. but, he was a genius after all. It was like he knew just exactly what to do to make her unfold, make her barriers drop and give herself over to him so trustingly. She thought she would never have that with someone…

Kakashi's hands began to work their magic, calloused finger tips tracing the shape of her abdomen, lingering for a moment at the waste band of her baggy, low trousers. He felt himself almost lose it as he remembered she was underwear-less. He began trailing his kisses, drifting down her neck, licking and nibbling as he went, enjoying the sharp intakes of breath he received each time. Oh he loved it!

Ritsuka tried to steady herself, her legs going weak at the knees as his fingers ghosted over her skin, a little higher up than she would have liked. Her pleasure was becoming painful, her need growing with each lick and touch. Her skin was burning, but she would wait it out.

Kakashi seemed unaware of the undone state Ritsuka was in at the moment as he continued his journey down to her perfect breasts, her top having a v-cut, allowing access to her cleavage. He had looked for a moment or to, just admiring her. The way her chest moved with every deep and staggered breath she took, her breasts bouncing slightly at the action. His hands had slipped under the hem of her top, working their way up until he had removed it completely over her head, his hands catching her breasts as he pushed up against her firmly. Her strangled moan had his mind racing and erection twitching. He didn't know how long he would be able to keep this up.

Ritsuka giggled softly in embarrassment as she bucked and moaned like a dog in heat against Kakashi, his hands and teeth doing things to her that was just unexplainable. Her lower regions were screaming in wet agony, a heat pooling in her. Her toes were curling with each stroke of her nipple; her eyes screwed shut as if she were in pain. The pleasure was too much!

Kakashi's kisses lowered from her now solid nipples to her abdomen, stopping for a moment to circle his tongue around her naval, and continued on down to the band of her trousers. Ritsuka's mind went mad with anticipation, her hands steadying herself, one on the wall behind her and one holding onto the bed post.

Kakashi breathed on her skin, causing her flesh to goose pimple, his thumb and forefinger popping open the button of her trousers and lowering them painfully slowly. Kakashi's fingers explored her curls, finding her sweet spot quickly. He pushed and prodded a little, Ritsuka throwing her head back, her mouth hanging open. Ritsuka eyes flew open in astonishment as she felt his arm lifting her leg over his shoulder, his mouth claiming her nether regions so suddenly. She almost fell in fact.

Kakashi chuckled softly, the vibration making her head loll to the side dangerously as a moan ripped through her. He pulled back for a moment, getting a better angle, and thrust his tongue into her, her strangled scream filling the room. He pushed and licked at her, pulling from her some delicious noises, making her shake her head softly as a frown formed on her face, her breath increasing in pace. He knew then that she was almost where he wanted her.

Ritsuka practically growled when he stopped, pulling away like he had done before. Air assaulted her, a raging blush forming in her cheeks.

"Hatake, if you even think you're going to -" He silenced her with a hungry kiss, her threats turning to pleading. Ritsuka felt herself wilt a little at the thought. She was pleading! Just like she promised herself she wouldn't. Well two could play at this game.

Kakashi felt her move, but was too caught up in the moment to figure out what was going on. He felt the bed hit his back suddenly, Ritsuka kissing him fiercely, her body trapping him onto the bed. He would have yelped had he not been a trained shinobi, and a man! Men don't eep…

Ritsuka made quick work to disorientate her new lover, sure that if he had one second, she would be back to the bucking mule. Her lips locked with his, her fingers untying his trousers and pushing them down, before plunging under his boxers and cupping his erection carefully. His eyes snapped open as she lowered herself down, her teeth nipping and biting and doing incredibly arousing things. Her hand had started to stroke him, making him see white. He couldn't help but feel he had probably deserved the pleasurable torture he was in, and didn't care to complain. He sucked in a quick breath as her tongue flicked out and touched his raging hard on, his member jumping at the action. Oh god she was hot.

Ritsuka wasn't very sure what to do. Jiraiya had taught her a lot about sex, but only through words. He had called this act many names, but they all contradicted each other… Blow, suck… what was she to do? She didn't imagine playing him like a trumpet would do much good, so maybe suck? She took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself. Kakashi was leaning up on his elbows now, worry set in his frown.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. I'll understand." He was so caring and thoughtful at times. Ritsuka's heart filled with happiness and she became determined. She was going to have him screaming no matter what she had to do.

Kakashi's head fell back as she ran her tongue up his full length. It hadn't been that bad, Ritsuka mused. She then licked her tongue around the head of his erection, the taste of salt tingling on her tongue. Salty? Jiraiya hadn't mentioned that, despite the great detail he had went into, but then again, he probably hadn't tasted another mans cock, being completely and over actively straight. She felt her confidence grow as Kakashi began to pant heavily, his chest heaving with the effort.

Kakashi moaned low in the back of his throat when he felt Ritsuka's hot mouth envelope him, his control wavering greatly. She began to suck on him lightly, pulling him closer to completion. Subconsciously he began to pulse against her mouth, making sweet friction with her tight lips. And Ritsuka suddenly knew what to do.

Kakashi's moans increased in volume as she increased her movements pace. She even took more of him into her mouth, gagging a bit when he touched the back of her throat. But she was fine. She could do this. She began to bob her head up and down, running her tongue along his shaft and dragging her teeth lightly on the tip, Kakashi's sounds of pleasure becoming more erratic.

"I'm going to -" He groaned loudly as she bit down on the tip again, her tongue running down the side of erection and back up the other, her mouth clamping down and moving in time with his thrusts. "Ritsuka! Stop before I -" He just couldn't say it, and Ritsuka didn't seem to be taking him seriously. "Ritsu – aaaaaahhh!" his head flew back as he felt his body pulse and convulse in absolute pleasure. Ritsuka's names left his mouth a few times, the breathy way he spoke making her blush deeply. She swallowed everything he had to offer, a little shocked at the amount. Jiraiya had warned her it would be strange at first, but why had he left out how salty?

Kakashi lay on the bed in a crumpled mess, sweat shining on his burning skin. Ritsuka climbed onto the bed next to him, her triumphant smile saying it all. He kissed her then, as hard and lovingly as possible, a little weirded out as he tasted himself on her. But at this point he didn't really care.

His hands snaked down her body again, continuing his ministrations from earlier. He probably had enough time to recuperate while he made good work with Ritsuka. She hissed as she lay down on the bed, her body shivering with anticipation. Kakashi's hands stroked and rubbed her, bringing her close to her own climax.

"Kakashi?" her voice was quiet, but desperate. "Hurry the fuck up before I die…" he strained moan had Kakashi hard and ready once again. He just chuckled softly before sheathing himself, and pushing inside of her. She bucked against him, a satisfied smile playing on her lips. "God I needed that!" she giggled as she wiggled about, making Kakashi grab her hips tightly to stop himself losing control. What the hell was wrong with this girl, didn't she know what she could do to him?

Kakashi shook his head, pushing himself in and out, faster and faster. He enjoyed how her sentences were now all out of order, her brows knitted in pleasurable frustration. His speed began to increase, his body tingling. He could do this forever…

Ritsuka shook her head, rolling it against the bed forcefully as she tried her best to make herself last. She had been waiting all day for this, and there was no way she was going to let it be over within just a couple of… oh god! Ritsuka's back arched, her mind going white.

Kakashi smiled sadistically as he rubbed his thumb against her sweet spot on her clitoris, knowing exactly where to get her. He almost laughed heartily at the breathy swear words now echoing in the small room. He would have covered her mouth to save her the embarrassment of others hearing them, but he decided that it would be much funnier seeing their faces tomorrow. Plus he would look like some kind of sexual god…

Ritsuka came hard. So hard she thought she was in pain. Her toes curled back against her foot, and she began to wonder if they were broken with the strain. Her legs and arms quivered with strain as her body convulsed harshly. God how she loved Kakashi…

Kakashi was quick to follow, surprised at how intense his had been, considering he thought he already been spent. He fell on Ritsuka, his body shuddering against hers deliciously as she suffered from some aftershocks of pleasure.

"God, if this is what it's like all the time, I hope we never 'disengage'" She giggled at the terminology she mocked Kakashi with. He smiled softly, his head still spinning. If he had been more compos mentis, she would have received a deserved swat on the head.

"Right enough from you. I think it's time for a nice midnight walk out in the cool air. God knows i need it..." And with that the two dressed and headed out into the night.

**Herro! No i'm not dead... I am so so so so so so so so so sorry about this week. You see i'm at university, and work loads just hit the fan and i have been so busy. plus life also got in the way, but! alas! I have managed to put together this wee smut chapter though, but i don't know how well spelt it is. I quickly scan read it, but due to timing and lateness, i've just thrown it up hear. so unprofessional i know hehe!**

**I hope you like it, but now i think it is time to get back to Konoha to kick on with the story. We have so long to go man, i mean they are still teenagers. Oh the plots!**

**so i hope you have enjoyed this little smut filled vacation, though i've only really covered two days, but i'm sure you get the just of whats going to be happening!**

**thanks again for reading, and again, i am so sorry for its lateness! don't hate me! please!!**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Kakashi and Ritsuka returned to Konoha, their relationship blossoming well. They had truly relaxed over the fortnight, and had even managed to tackle their problems, getting them talked over and sorted. It was going so well in fact that they decided that Ritsuka should move into Kakashi's flat so that the two could spend more time together when she had finally turned sixteen. She had practically stayed over every night anyway.

They both had missions of course, but Kakashi just loved to return home and slink into bed with a warm and rather groggy Ritsuka. She was so cute when sleepy.

Ritsuka almost squealed when she felt freezing cold hands touch her side, a quiet snicker from behind informing her that Kakashi had meant it. He was cruel at times. So cruel…

"I will kill you." She joked, turning to look at her lover. He seemed to be unscathed, but he looked ridiculously tired. "Hard one eh?" She sympathised. She knew only too well the hardships of a shinobi lifestyle. He nodded slowly, a deep sadness falling from his eyes. "What happened?" Kakashi smiled sadly.

"I can't go into detail about the mission. Anbu are very secretive. But I can tell you what's mainly bothering me, though you can't tell anyone. I know, I know, you wouldn't." He sighed as he shuffled down the bed a little, removing his clothing, including his mask, until he was down to his boxers. Ritsuka waited patiently while he composed himself. "I watched a child die yesterday." He cuddled his face into Ritsuka, his simple statement catching her off guard.

"Do you blame yourself?" She knew that feeling all to well. She looked to see Kakashi thinking hard.

"No. Not exactly. I mean, there was nothing anyone could have done. He had been hurt, again I can't go into detail, but he was brought to the village. He was so…" Kakashi sighed, his thumb and finger rubbing across his eyes and joined them together on his nose, where they waited as he thought. "He was there when I got to the small town. He was pretty funny, and old for his age. Like us, he was pretty clever, but out casted by the other kids. So he followed me around a lot. I let him, though I knew I shouldn't have. He was too easy to like." Kakashi shuffled around in the bed again, pulling some cover from Ritsuka and pulling some over his feet. Ritsuka bit her tongue before she complained about the now cold covers on her legs. "He tried to help me. And he got himself killed." Kakashi lay still now, his own words sinking in. Ritsuka thought for the best words for this point, but she wasn't sure there was anything she could say that he didn't already know. He was used to death. They both were.

"You shouldn't distance yourself from people. It's natural to like someone and to hurt when they're gone. Remember what happened when you left me? Neither of us felt better… but sometimes, we have to take the risk. I'm glad you liked the boy. And I'm glad he had an effect on you, though I'm not glad you hurting. But at the same time, I think it's healthy. I mean for every good thing there's an equal and opposite bad. But you know all this, I guess I'm just reinforcing it. You probably just wanted a hug though, and a simple, 'everything is alright". Am I right? I just… I want you to know that I'm so proud of you, not for being strong and saving people all the time, but the fact that even after all the deaths you have experienced, you still hurt. You still get upset, still regret the loss of life even if they deserved it. And you still come home and spend time with me." Kakashi smiled knowingly, his heart aching with her words. Ritsuka tried too hard, bit it was touching. The things she said always seemed to have such an affect on him, helped him through these situations. He hoped she would be around forever, though in the back of his mind he knew that eventually everything ends. She sighed softly as she pulled Kakashi over to her, her arms wrapping around him protectively, her lips brushing through his hair with light kisses. "I'll shut up." She giggled softly into his hair.

Kakashi pulled at her t-shirt, feeling incredibly vulnerable. The little boys smiling face was going to haunt his dreams tonight, he knew it. But as long as he had Ritsuka, everything would seem bearable, even if she was just around for a little while, he could handle life now.

Ritsuka grew accustomed to Kakashi's silent hugs when he returned from missions. Most of the time he had been forbidden to tell her anything, and she had accepted it. Sometimes he could tell her little bits, and she could piece together what was really wrong, but mostly she was fumbling in the dark. The worst times were when he returned all bloody and bruised, his smile plastered on his face triumphantly, and it hurt that the triumph was that he make it home alive. It was getting worse as the days and months went by, her love for Kakashi growing painful. She would give anything to protect him, knowing full well that he would end up saving her. Plus, Kakashi chose to do these missions by choosing to be in Anbu, and he was the best they had.

Ritsuka stared down at the parchment of her latest scrolled mission. It had indicated she would be away for a week on an s-class mission. She sighed tiredly as she waited for Kakashi to return. He was due home two nights ago, though he still hadn't shown up. This had happened before, though it never went well. Kakashi was usually limping in, or being carried by someone who luckily happened to be passing by.

"Ritsuka! My love!" her thoughts were interrupted by a crazy green flash.

"Gai! Wow it's been a while! How are you?" Gai beamed at Ritsuka, throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh! I am fabulous! Just back from a mission so you might want to excuse the smell." Ritsuka almost visibly cringed. "I was just heading over to see Kakashi! He's back from his mission isn't he?" Ritsuka looked at the ground worriedly.

"Not yet. Though I'm sure he'll be here soon. Sorry you missed him." Gai burst into song and dance, and brilliantly complicated poses as he tried to reassure his friend that Kakashi was fine.

"He is strong! And daring! And handsome! And… don't tell him I said handsome. He might kill me." Ritsuka giggled as Gai continued to list off other things, like his strangely firm bum that he had happened to punch in a training fight. "Though you would already know about it I'm sure!" He winked suggestively.

"Gai! Goodness you'll make me blush." Ritsuka kept the joke up, feeling relieved to be laughing again. Gai laughed heartily before bidding her farewell in a most flamboyant way.

So Ritsuka set off to complete her mission, her mind running wild with anticipation. She was to contact a certain Hiraku, to inform him that she was the help he had asked for. Then she was to infiltrate some complex using her womanly charm, to disarm the head guy, and free the small town just north of Konoha. She felt a little sick at the womanly charms idea, but she could handle herself no problem.

Ritsuka met with Hiraku easily, finding him hiding amongst the bushes just outside the town entrance.

"You must be the Konoha shinobi." He had merely stated as he stepped out from his watching post. "I am Hiraku, and I most grateful to your hokage for sending you here. Now follow me and I shall explain to you what has been happening. I'm sure you will want to rest and eat after your 2 and a half day journey." He smiled sweetly as he led Ritsuka to his small home on the outskirts of the town, his back garden facing out into a beautiful river just peeping out from a forest.

He fed and watered Ritsuka, fussing over her comfort and well being flamboyantly. The town was obviously at the end of its tether with this group of criminals, that their appreciation was huge.

"Now Ritsuka, is there anything else I could possible get you?" Hiraku seemed eager to help out some more.

"No, no! like I've said I'm fine. You have been most kind. Now I think you should maybe fill me in on what's going on, if you wouldn't mind." Ritsuka smiled sweetly as she watched Hiraku fluster.

"Of course! How silly of me. Well, the trouble all began a few months back. A man with no name came to our village, a group of bandits under his control. He raided our homes, stole from our stores, and took our woman and children to sell, or whatever it is he does up there." He shifted in his place on the floor, his eyes darkening with anger and humiliation. "We have no shinobi in our small town, so we made did with our primitive weapons and tools. But they had brought with them strange weapons, that fired arrows and kunai at us in high speeds. We were ridiculously outdone, and our children and woman remain captured. We have tried for weeks to starve them out, even fight them out. But it is all useless. They are too good." Ritsuka felt saddened at the tears now falling from the desperate man. "So we finally called you for help. And Konoha have been most gracious and sent us a beauty like yourself." Ritsuka blushed at the random outburst compliment.

"You are being too nice to me, and I haven't saved your town yet." Hiraku laughed lightly.

"I will explain the plan and you will understand the use of your good looks."

And so Ritsuka was dressed in a kimono while her informant gave her the low down and blue prints of the building she was to enter. She strapped many weapons in the folds of her outfit, making sure to place a couple of kunai and shuriken into her underwear. Every precaution was to be taken.

"Now, the leader has a thing for younger woman, so I… oh my." Her informant wiped his glasses and stifled a nose bleed. "The hokage had mentioned you would look exquisite, but goodness." He smiled stupidly at her. Shaking his head he continued his download of information. And so the mission began.

Ritsuka levelled her breath as she passed down the corridors of an abandoned mansion that was now 'owned' but a slave trader. He specialised in children as sex slaves. Ritsuka tried to calm her rage as she passed by many sleaze bags, noting their faces so she could destroy them later. At one point she almost blew her cover as she spotted a small boy being dragged off into another room. She hated herself as she passed the door, trying desperately to ignore his strangled cries for mercy. God she was going to rid this world of these scum!

"So you are the pretty thing Hiraku has sent me. Oh yes, you'll do nicely! What is your name?" Ritsuka bowed lightly, pretending to be fearful and nervous.

"Lillinette." She spoke with her throat slightly constricted to make herself sound younger, and more girlish. The leader almost squealed.

"What age are you my pretty?" Ritsuka fought the urge to kill herself with disgust.

"Fifteen." She bowed lowly again, her temper rising. This was taking too long.

"Perfect! Just perfect! Oh I'm not sure I really want to sell you. How about you stay with me? My precious little sweet." His sickly crooning voice was making her heave. "Oh yes, you can be my lovely angel!" he clicked his fingers and two men walked over to her. They gestured for her to follow them up to the leader, and she hesitated. All in the name of acting of course! "Fear not. I won't hurt you, yet…" his cruel smile struck fear in her. Fear that the world could posses such people, that evil of this sort could even exist. She would sacrifice her own life if it would bring peace to the world. She would start by wiping this arsehole leader from it, trying her best not to enjoy it.

Ritsuka stumbled clumsily up to the ugly balding man her eyes averted shyly. He giggled and crooned to her more, walking round her as he inspected her closely.

"Her eyes! They are just stunningly rare! We must reward our friend for sending you. I think I will sell you after all. You will make us rich!" Ritsuka bowed again, feeling stupid. Her hand slipped into her sleeve, hooking out a kunai from within. Once the man had stopped to lean in and look closer at her eyes, she struck. His gargled cry for back up was almost inaudible as she lifted her knee into his chest, ripping her kimono wide open. She heard the footsteps of his companions around her, her senses sharp.

"You little fucker!" The closest shouted, his fist already soaring towards her face. She dodged easily, his body colliding with the other that had tried to grab her from behind. Ritsuka ripped another tear into the bottom part of the kimono, pulling the material away until her legs were bare. Now she was more flexible. Then she dashed to the side of the room, kunai and shuriken flying this way and that, never missing there targets. Her temper was rising still as more of them came, shouting profanities and telling her just how they would fuck her if they got the chance. And 'if' was the key word there. Even their feared weapons were no match for her, only scratching her legs twice and her cheek once.

She killed more that night than she cared to think, her heart feeling heavy as she pulled her favourite kunai from the last of the dying paedophiles. She sighed as she looked at her hands, forgetting the last time she hadn't killed on a mission. It was a curse being good at this sort of thing. You either kill or die trying. Ritsuka looked up to the ceiling feeling dread fill her. She had to check this whole mansion for children and slaves, freeing them and killing all those who had done these horrible deeds and were still alive.

She set out to the room she remembered the boy was in, her legs stinging with the cold. She kicked the door open loudly, hoping to disorientate the rapist. The scene before her was too much, her mind going blank as she grabbed at the ugly man, dragging him from the boy and out of the room, slitting his throat as she did so. No need for the boy to be anymore traumatised than he already was.

"Hey there." Ritsuka spoke with the softest voice she could muster. "It's alright now. Come on, put these back on." She lifted the boys clothes from the floor, her heart breaking as she watched the boy shakily cover himself, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment. She almost cried when she saw the blood running down his legs, the hands marks and bruises of previous assaults burning her soul. "It's alright now, he's gone. I won't look." She tossed the boys clothes over to him, turning her back to him as he dressed himself shakily. Ritsuka waited for a couple of minutes for the boy to make a sign that he was done, and was surprised to feel his frozen hand touch her leg carefully. "Come on. Do you know if there are others here?" the boy nodded. "Can you take me to them?" the boy pulled on her hand as he limped awkwardly out of the room, leading her back the way she had come. Instead of heading into the great hall where the slaughter had taken place, she was lead down stairs into the cellar. Of course, where else. The boy's hold on her hand tightened as two men sat up from their post, there eyes glinting with evil. "Don't worry." Ritsuka had bent down, her eyes level with the boys. "I'll handle this. Now shut your eyes." She placed her hand softly on the boy's forehead, lowering it and shutting his eyes for him.

Ritsuka gripped her kunai and dove for the two men, their panicked looks only making her feel slightly better as she took their lives. She hated killing, but she hated what they were doing more. She would deal with her inner demons later. A sudden outcry of children could be heard when they saw Ritsuka, their desperation and begging breaking her heart. God she would give anything to make this never happen again. She made quick work of the locks on the cage doors, taking the keys from the belt of one of the dead men. The children poured out, but stopped at the foot of the stairs, their eyes fearful. Ritsuka took the lead as she opened the first little boy's eyes again, taking his hand and running up the stairs. They came across three more men before finally making it outside, where the informant and some armed men from the nearby town awaited. Father's and married men were united with their children and wives, as cries of joy and despair were heard. Ritsuka encouraged the little boy still clutching her hand in a death grip to follow the others, but he shook his head. The informant approached her, his smile wide with thanks.

"Does this boy have family looking for him to?" Ritsuka asked, and the informant squinted at him.

"I… no. you're from the orphanage aren't you? Oh you will have been sorely missed. How about I take you back with me and – Oh dear." Ritsuka felt her heart break for only god knows about the hundredth time as she felt warm tears trail down her thigh. The little boy clutched onto her, his desperate hold almost cutting the blood from her leg. She sighed quietly as she looked around her, desperate to know what to do. He pulled at the remains of her kimono, his eyes red raw.

"Wouldn't you like to go back home?" Ritsuka asked, Hiraku looking at her apologetically. "With your friends?" The boy only seemed to worsen his sobs escalating into screams. Ritsuka dropped to her knees, catching the drowning boy. She cuddled him to her chest, reassurances falling from her lips. Kakashi was going to kill her, or worse, never talk to her again. "Why don't you come back to Konoha with me? I can't promise that I will be allowed to keep you since I'm not really old enough, but I'll try my hardest to convince the Hokage to let you stay in Konoha. We have a fantastic orphan system, and you definitely wouldn't be alone." Ritsuka felt her heart fall. The third was going to laugh so hard, laughing even harder at Kakashi's face. He was so going to kill her. Kill her dead!

The little boy's sobs slowed, a huge smile plastered on his face. He cuddled against Ritsuka; his wet tears making her hair stick to his face comically.

She eventually managed to get the boy to wait with Hiraku until she checked the whole mansion, finding a list of purchases of some children that had already been sold on. The town had thanked her for her help, and decided to take the matter into their own hands now. She had done most of the dirty work that had hindered them before, and now they were up for revenge.

Ritsuka left shortly after, a two day travel ahead of her. Though it would probably end up being three with her new accompaniment following along. Oh Kakashi was going to kill her good…

Kakashi had returned home the day Ritsuka had left. He felt deeply put out when he had read the worried note on the bed, his heart sinking when he learned she would be away a week. God he had been looking forward to getting home…

He was lying awake in bed when he heard a key in his lock, his heart racing with anticipation. He jumped from the bed, only dressed in boxers, his mask in place. He was going to jump her and molest her the second she came through that –

"Hatake! You're up! Good. I hope we didn't wake you." Ritsuka tried her best to avoid eye contact. The little boy held her hand tightly, his death grip in place when he saw Kakashi. Kakashi fumbled around the room, grabbing a pillow from the seat he was standing next to and placing it over his crotch region. "Crap sorry!" She covered her hands over the boy's eyes. Kakashi jumped into the bedroom, leaving Ritsuka to hold her tongue. What had she done! She should have talked to him first. But how?! She couldn't leave the boy anywhere yet. He was to upset, and still hadn't spoke a word. Just cried… Oh Kakashi was going to kick her out. And kill her.

Kakashi returned with a puzzled yet ready for an explanation look. Ritsuka shrugged as she lead the boy over to the kitchen area, letting him choose from the fridge. She quickly dashed over to Kakashi and hugged him tightly, kissing him hard as she tried to make him understand.

"I couldn't leave him. He had nobody…" Kakashi nodded his head, but said nothing. Ritsuka panicked. They hadn't had their first proper row yet, and she really had hoped they never would have. She was so silly at times. She grudgingly thought back to the thirds choked laughter as she informed him of the situation. He knew Kakashi would be raging. "He was… I… do you hate me? Are you going to kick me out?" Kakashi eye's flew open in disbelief.

"Hell no. I just… wasn't expecting children. I hadn't even thought about it. God it's happening all so fast. This flat isn't really big enough for -" Ritsuka silenced him with a kiss.

"Your talking like I'm pregnant." She giggled, but quickly stopped when she remembered she was in dangerous waters.

"Are you planning on keeping him?" Kakashi was looking over at the boy who was munching on some bread as he stared around the flat. "I'd be a terrible dad." Kakashi felt down trodden. God this was so fast. He hadn't even had time to panic about whether it was a boy or a girl. Would they have his eyes or Ritsuka's? His hair?

"Well, until he starts talking and trusting people. I don't think we have the time, I mean we're shinobi, we're away all the time fighting crime and all that. I was thinking we could just get him onto his feet, enrolled in the academy. Once he's feeling better we'll get him a flat and -"

"Ritsuka he looks about eight! We can't leave him! You're not thinking. Contradictions all over the place." Ritsuka dropped her head in her hands, desperation evident. She couldn't just pap him off to some flat, all alone after what he had been through. He would be scared to death. Kakashi's hands and arms were around her quickly. "Ah no! shit! Don't cry! I'm not mad at you, I just… We'll sort something." Ritsuka nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was so strained and hurt that Kakashi began to panic.

"It's fine! Look we'll discuss it in the morning, you look shattered. Let's get some sleep eh?!" Kakashi's sudden enthusiasm was making things worse for Ritsuka, but she knew she needed sleep. It was surprisingly hard to look after a boy who didn't talk.

And so Ritsuka picked up the boy, changing him into one of Kakashi's old t-shirts and placed him in the bed next to her, keeping Kakashi on the other side.

"I'll explain later." Was all she said as she held Kakashi's hand tightly under the covers.

**Herro!! Another chapter up, though not as quickly as i had hoped. And i am very sorry! But yes so more complications falling into Ritsuka and Kakashi's little world. A real shame, i feel so bad for them. I'm so mean. **

**And yes sorry about the darkness of my stories that seems to keep coming through, though i feel it would be quite normal in the naruto shinobi world. I hope im not offending or upsetting anyone...**

**So thanks again for reading! and its great to hear from more people reviwing and i thank you all for ure brilliant comments! Keeps me going! so thanks!**


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Ritsuka woke the next morning, feeling a little put out as someone kept prodding at her face. She cursed Kakashi silently as she pushed his hand away, a little alarmed at how small it was. And the night's before events came back to her.

Ritsuka sat up quickly, knocking Kakashi onto his back a little startled. She looked around the room groggily as she noticed the sun pushing its rays through the curtains, her head thumping dully.

"Sorry I thought… Never mind. You hungry?" The boy nodded, his small smile in place. Ritsuka felt her morning feel just that bit better. She got out of the bed, despite Kakashi's quiet protest, and headed into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast. Kakashi soon followed when he smelled the food, thinking he should jump on the bandwagon if she was already cooking. The boy remained silent as he sat precariously on the edge of his seat, his yes pointed to the floor and his fingers fidgeting. Ritsuka had tried on many occasions to get the poor boy to talk, even just tell her his name, but he was adamant.

"So what you got planned for the day?" Kakashi was making small talk feeling the tension getting unbearable. Ritsuka smiled knowingly.

"Well, I have to go back to the hokage to sort out the little fella, then just play it by ear for the rest of it. You?" Kakashi nodded slowly, thinking of his plan. He wasn't due his mission until tomorrow, and had been hoping to spend time with his Ritsuka, but it seemed that he would probably miss out this time.

"Don't know yet. Maybe do some training, catch up with you when you're finished if you like?" Ritsuka smiled apologetically as she dished out the food, her eyes falling on the boy who had turned her life upside down. How had this happened? And so soon? Her perfect little life with Kakashi, bar the near death experiences all the time on missions, had been dashed on the ground. But she couldn't but feel for the boy, guilt filling her as she selfishly moaned silently about her life. The boy had been raped for god knows how long, never mind the constant physical abuse he seemed to have suffered from. He needed her and by god was she going to do her best to fix him up best she could.

Kakashi and Ritsuka discussed what was to happen as she left the boy in a bath to soak, giving him a temporary name of Chuga until he had found his voice again. The boy had laughed at the name when Ritsuka had decided, and seemed to enjoy being called it.

"We can't keep him here." Kakashi was being realistic, "It's too small for three, especially when one is a child. We can't, you know… I mean if he had his own room it would be easier, but my flats only one room." Kakashi sighed as he leaned his head in one hand, his elbow planted firmly in the arm of his two person couch. "I don't want you to think that I'd prefer him to be gone. It's not that. I just… I miss you…" Kakashi blushed violently as he coughed, trying to hide what he had said by a feeble distraction. Ritsuka smiled broadly.

"God I miss you to. Our missions are so uncoordinated it's just shit. And I understand what you mean." She sighed thoughtfully. "What if he was put into the care of the orphanage flats, like my old flat? He would be really close, plus he would get all the care from the attendants. He might even make some friends with kids like him, though we would have to make sure he was ready to do it. It might take a few months to… sort him." Ritsuka held back her rage at the man she had killed who had been inappropriately touching poor Chuga as she swore. Kakashi raised an eyebrow curiously. "I had to clear a mansion out from bandits. They sold children and woman on the sex slave market. Chuga, he was being raped when I arrived. And it wasn't the first time I'm sure of it." She held back her sobs as she relayed her mission to Kakashi, not caring if it was meant to be a secret. No one had said it was so… She knew Kakashi would keep quiet.

Kakashi sat quietly in his seat, seething at the Hokage for making Ritsuka do such a mission, but the damage had been done. He sighed defeated as he leaned back, tilting his head so he could look out of the window. It was a beautiful day, one he could have spent with Ritsuka, taking her to a new place he had found that she would love. He guessed he would just have to wait…

Kakashi agreed to letting 'Chuga' stay, until Ritsuka was sure that the boy was ready to move on. Ritsuka jumped happily into his lap and kissed him passionately, her desperation pouring out. She quickly pulled off of him as the bathroom door opened, and a little drip walked out. Ritsuka giggled as she took a towel from a nearby cupboard and began scrubbing the boys hair, earning a giggle and squeal of joy from the little man. Kakashi felt touched at the scene before him, smiling at the thought of Ritsuka with children. She would be an awesome mother.

Ritsuka headed to the Hokage's office with little 'Chuga' holding her arm in his signature death grip. She had tried to assure him that nothing would happen to him with her around, but the boy seemed unconvinced. The death grip stayed firmly in place all through their meeting with the hokage, Ritsuka giggling softly as she pulled him up so that his arms could wrap around her neck securely.

"Well I see no problem in the little tyke joining us here in Konoha. We can have a flat sorted for him in a couple of months, or whenever you feel the boy is ready. Just let me know a week in advance, and I'll see what I can do." He smiled at the boy, who seemed to be relaxing, but only slightly. "We should maybe introduce him to some of the children, maybe even Naruto." Ritsuka smiled at the thought. Chuga would be a little older than Naruto she guessed, he must be about five now…

Ritsuka had visited Naruto often, promising to play with him and keep him company. She even helped him through some of his new lessons at the academy, having been going for a few months now. She smiled at the thought of how the mini-Minato had grown, though she felt she could have maybe spent more time with him. Stupid missons were getting longer she was sure. She had an excuse now!

And so it was settled, and Ritsuka talked through what would happen at the orphan flats, not very sure how Chuga was taking it in his silent thought. The two met up with Kakashi that night, and Ritsuka relayed the full plan to him and he seemed keen to help out. And the three began to blossom into the perfect family, with little quirks here and there of course.

It had been about two weeks since Chuga had come back with Ritsuka to his new home. Ritsuka was talking away about Kakashi, telling him of his many, many achievements, his IQ, how he'd graduated so soon in the academy etc. etc. Chuga had been most impressed, feeling a sense of safety suddenly hit him. He grown to like and trust Kakashi quickly over the time he had spent with him, and Kakashi had taken great lengths to make him feel comfortable. He was rather jealous of the relationship He and Ritsuka seemed to have, hoping that one day he could relate to a person quite the same.

"Ritsuka?" Ritsuka sat bolt upright in the bed, the two having snuggled up so Ritsuka could tell him more stories.

"Chuga! You… spoke!" she giggled triumphantly as her arms slinked around the small boy, her heart swelling with joy. "Thank god! I was beginning to hate the sound of my own voice!" Her enthusiasm had Chuga a little taken a back, but he smiled happily.

"Sorry." He mumbled, a blush rising to his cheeks.

"Oh no, no! Worry not! I'm just glad to hear you is all." She smiled sweetly, worried she had maybe been a bit to over the top in her reaction.

"Sojiro. My name. But I much prefer Chuga!" He pleaded to keep his new name, feeling that it was the beginning of a new life for him, a marker in the turning point. Ritsuka nodded slowly, her smile returning full blast.

"That's fine with me!" the two talked a lot that night, Chuga avoiding his past as he talked of the present and future with excited vigour. Ritsuka reminded him often that she was willing to listen to him if he was willing to talk, but he would shake his head, placing his hand on one of his many wounds as his eyes would glaze over. He wasn't ready, and Ritsuka would wait.

Three months had passed, and Chuga had made great progress. Ritsuka spent everyday working with him, her missions having been postponed until Chuga was fending for himself. He had eventually told her the most gruesome of stories, her heart swelling and her eyes filling each time. Sometimes she would hug Chuga until he laughed shyly, trying to console her. She would laugh ruefully each time. What a mess…

"I'm okay, honest. I'm safe now, so I don't need to worry about it happening anytime soon right?" His hopeful eyes and good mood would always bring her back again, another hugging session in place.

"I will protect you with my life!" she would exclaim, her tears falling freely. The boy had encountered so many cruel treatments ion his life, not just with the bandits. His mother had died giving birth to him, it would seem that this was a common outcome these days. His father had taken to looking after him, but once he had turned four, began to drink. Chuga would be beaten regularly, and sometimes would have sexual acts performed on him. Ritsuka had tried her best to stay together as he relayed the events to her in such depth, his strangled sobs making some of it hard to understand. Some Chuga couldn't explain certain events, the pain of remembrance just being too much. On those occasions Ritsuka would take him to bed, pulling the covers over them both and hugging the boy tightly until he calmed down, her fingers stroking through his hair, her lips kissing his forehead in a mothering way. Once the boy had turned six, his father had dumped him off at the town's orphanage, and left for good. Chuga had been relieved, but strangely missed his father. Ritsuka had explained to him that it was only because he was his father that he had missed him, that everyone experienced the same thing in his position.

"Then the bandits came. They were… evil for lack of better words. They killed the men of the village and stole the woman and children. We were dragged to the mansion, our lives being threatened all the way. We would cry and beg to be let free, but they would hurt us, with whips and sticks. Beat us into silence. I was scared. Really scared. We were put into cages that were far too small, each of us being 'desensitised' they called it. I had already experienced the pain of forced sex, but it didn't mean I was any better at handling it. I cried the first time, bleeding quite bad. The man had been really rough, his knife cutting my skin as he pushed inside me over and over and over!" Chuga's voice broke with the strain of his confession, his eyes stinging with more tears. Ritsuka was hugging him again, her fingers working magic on calming him. "I pushed and punched and kicked him off, but he was too strong. My second and third was the same, the forth being more gentle, though still awful. And then I lost count. It's all just one big blur near the end, too many faces of evil haunting my dreams…" The boy trailed off, eventually slumping from the exhaustion of his full confession. Ritsuka had been waiting a long time to hear the events, Chuga only touching lightly on the events before. She shook a little with rage, her desperate attempts to calm down making her feel tired herself.

"It's alright now. I can't fix the past, but I will damn well make sure you never go through this again for as long as I live!" Her temper was rising with each word, killing all those men really wasn't enough. She should have set up some kind of constant rape scenario to truly get revenge on them. Death was too good for some people.

"I know you will." Chuga smiled happily, and Ritsuka grew astonished at the boy's strength. Even as he cried over his destroyed life, he still found the strength to smile. Still managed to pull himself through with only just a little help from Ritsuka and Kakashi. He truly was a brilliant human being.

Soon Chuga started at the academy, making many friends. He was a couple of years behind his age group, but the class he was in found him mysterious because of his late start. He was popular for quite a while. He had of course shot forward a couple of years, until he was just behind his age group, with Ritsuka and Kakashi helping him do extra study.

He even managed to surpass his age group, his confidence growing and his friends ever multiplying in numbers. He had of course never forgotten Naruto, the boy that Ritsuka had introduced him to first, but found that seeing him was rather difficult. Naruto's constant bad behaviour had him in detention for hours a day, Chuga having to head over to Ritsuka and Kakashi's for dinner sometimes making it a pain for him to wait. Soon the two distanced apart, Naruto forgetting their friendship in his quest to prove to the whole village that he was worth more. Chuga hadn't minded too much, since Ritsuka would take him over to Naruto's or she would invite Naruto over to her and Kakashi's flat for dinner now and then. But Naruto could never come over when Kakashi was home.

Chuga had asked why Kakashi grew depressed when Naruto was around, but Ritsuka had never explained. He would often leave the flat to 'go for a walk', but no one sweat that much when they came back from a walk. Ritsuka would always cuddle Kakashi close when he came back, assuring him that the pain would pass in time, whatever the pain was. Naruto didn't know either, which was frustrating. After all they had done for him, he couldn't repay the favour. But he guessed that Ritsuka had it under control, having pulled him from the dark so expertly. She was really special and when he was older, he would repay all his debt to her.

Soon Chuga had graduated from the academy, three years before Naruto, though he was only two years older. Naruto had shouted his annoyance, protesting that he would be much better, but Chuga knew he meant congratulations in his own special way.

**Herro everyone! So this Chuga character was just a little idea i had to let people see the strength of the relationship Kakashi and Ritsuka had. To show how the two could handle anything that came their way. also it was a little bit of a filler since the next chapter is when Ritsuka is 22 and Kakashi is 25. This is to keep in line with the anime/Manga as it is as best as possible. so sorry ofr the whole chunks missing, but i still have so much inspiration and ideas to get through! XD so please forgive me for my breifness! I'm rubbish at beafing stories up without it getting boring. **

**Thanks again for reading and i hope you are still enjoying. **

**Peace!**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29 

Now time had passed, Ritsuka reaching the age of 22. Her relationship with Kakashi had grown so intense and robust that she found herself thanking the gods regularly for their constant passion. She had been warned of the two year rule, Gai constantly protesting that the two would eventually fight and fall out, but they hadn't. She felt that it was maybe because the both of them had such dangerous missions all the time that the fear of losing each other made them closer. Like their love would somehow keep each other alive. They both knew it was silly, but they were doing fine so far. Plus, they could never fall out. They were both so understanding and grown up about things that it was hard to get angry at each other.

Their second major relationship tester, the first being Chuga, happened one night after Ritsuka had returned from a mission. She had been suffering a horrible sickness that was making her lose her energy, her body seeming to reject something rather violently, and she was feeling so emotional that her mission had been compromised, her life now teetering on the edge. Kakashi had returned the day before, eager to catch Ritsuka before he was sent away again, only to be horrified at the bloody mess her mission partner. Kurinai, had come back with.

"Kakashi it's okay. She's stable, but we can't go in and see her for a while." She had tried to console the silver haired shinobi as he paced the room frantically. He had been planning a night in with movies and lots of sex, but now he was stuck waiting to hear if he was going to spend the rest of eternity alone or not. Kuranai, the poor soul, had tried her best to make him feel better, but he was worried that if she kept talking he might have to rip her vocal chords out. She was thankfully saved by a nervous nurse bearing news.

Kakashi sat at Ritsuka's bedside, his mind running a million miles and hour. The doctor had to have been wrong. They had been so careful. They never did anything without protection.

So how could she be pregnant?!

Kakashi pulled his fingers softly through her hair, attempting to carefully untangle it. Her face was worryingly pale, and she shook slightly from her body's lack of energy. His eyes trailed along the many tubes going into her body, one administering salts, the other glucose, and a horrible big tube that was helping her breathe. He smiled sadly at the thought of being a father. Was he ready? He would have to quit Anbu and take up something that meant he could stay close to home, like taking on gennin teams. He could do that…

"Kakashi? What the -" Ritsuka looked around frantically, her voice muffled against the tubing in her throat. She pulled it out before he could stop her, her body convulsing precariously as she gagged on it. "Where am I?" she muttered, her hand holding her head still. Kakashi filled her in.

"You slipped up in one of your jutsu, creating an opening to the enemy. Kurinai managed to get you out and back. Have you been feeling ill?" She had mentioned feeling sick, but not that she was violently vomiting. He may have noticed the pregnancy earlier had she have done.

"Ill? I told you I was feeling sick the other day, is that what you mean?" She looked at Kakashi confused.

"Yes but, you never said you had been vomiting." Ritsuka nodded slowly.

"Well only just the day before I went on this stupid mission. It wasn't much, and I felt much better as the day went on. I figured I had got rid of what was making me ill. Then the next morning I was sick again, and the next…" Ritsuka trailed off, her mind making a connection. "Oh shit!" Kakashi squeezed her hand softly, reassurance running through him. And that confirmed her fears. "Oh god… but how? When did you find out?" Kakashi kissed her cheek.

"The doctor told me. Congratulated me even." Kakashi rolled his eyes sarcastically. His mind was screaming at him to run away from all of this. He really wasn't ready. But Ritsuka's fear filled eyes pulled at him. Made him stop and think. She needed him as much as he needed her, and it wasn't fair. He might have been able to run, but she couldn't. There was no way she would get an abortion, and she couldn't very well leave her womb behind for someone else. She couldn't run from it.

"Are you mad?" Ritsuka looked at him sheepishly. "I mean I know it takes two, but maybe I should have been more careful. I guess we were just that 0.1% that this shit happens to… maybe I should have taken those herbs that make you infertile…" Kakashi covered Ritsuka's mouth with his hand.

"Don't be stupid. You'll be a brilliant mother. Ever since I saw you with Chuga, I decided that one day I would give you a child so that I could see you happy like that again. I just didn't expect it so soon. And enough of this am I mad rubbish. Of course I'm not. Just… panicking." Ritsuka smile apologetically. She had wanted this so bad, but had wanted it to have been on Kakashi's terms, so he could be as happy as she knew she would have been. Mind you she would have probably hit menopause by the time he had decided he was ready. She laughed softly at the thought.

"Please don't panic. You don't need to change anything. I'll cut back on missions and such, and I'm sure the Hokage will understand. He'll be delighted that we are procreating, your brilliant mind being passed down!" She giggled at the statement. Kakashi smiled, though his eyes remained troubled. "You'll see. It will all turn out fine!" Ritsuka's hands held his face firmly, and he leaned in a kissed her nose through his mask. Maybe everything would be fine. The few months with Chuga weren't that bad were they? And they both had enough money between them to buy a whole block of flats, so a house probably wouldn't be out of budget. Plans began to fill his mind as he held Ritsuka in his arms. She hissed and moaned as she turned ormoved, but she found a comfortable position and leant against him, her fingers playing absently with the pockets and his flack jacket.

Kakashi was allowed to take Ritsuka home the next day, his over protective nature pissing her off a little.

"Fuck Kakashi man! You don't need to carry me. This is ridiculous, I'm pregnant not dying." She laughed jokingly as she embarrassedly stepped away from him with her hands in front of her. Kakashi shrugged unsurely.

"You were hurt on your mission as well, the doctor said to take it easy." Ritsuka laughed again, walking past Kakashi, stumbling a little.

"Yeah take it easy. Not curl up and die, letting everyone else do everything for me. To take it easy for a shinobi just means no jumping onto roofs, or kicking the shit out of missing nin." She continued to explain the true meaning of the doctors words, Kakashi rolling his eyes exasperatedly.

"I just don't really know what to do…" He groaned heavily when he spotted Jiraiya approaching them with the biggest grin plastered on his face.

"I knew you two were at it! I was strangely protective at first, but wow! Kakashi your gonna be a dad!" He slapped his hand on his shoulder proudly, a triumphant glint in his eyes. Then he placed his other hand carefully on Ritsuka's stomach, the strange and touching scene not seeming right. "Oh it's just so perfect!" He smiled broadly again, slinking his arms over the pairs' shoulders. "How shall we celebrate, I think lots of drink and woman, though I suppose that won't work for you will it, being all pregnant and stuff. You can have some fruit juice!" He joked on and on about how to celebrate their special occasion.

"Jiraiya. I think we just want to keep it quiet for now. You know. Ritsuka doesn't need the extra stress. If people work it out then fine, but lets not advertise." Jiraiya mockingly pouted.

"Oh Kakashi! You're so boring." He beamed at him, taking Ritsuka's hand and leading her away. "But I understand." And so they quietly celebrated the pair and their new life at Jiraiya's small house, Kakashi finally beginning to fully comprehend what was going to happen. And god was he shitting it.

As time went on, Kakashi grew more and more accustomed to the idea. He had already put through for looking at house, and he was all over Ritsuka like a bad rash. Constantly asking how she was, rubbing her back when she felt a bit sore, her legs when she had been on a mission. She wasn't even all the big yet, but Kakashi was determined.

Ritsuka giggled softly as Kakashi tickled her growing abdomen with chakra charged finger tips. She could feel his energy tingling inside of her, tickling the forming child she was carrying.

"I hope you don't give him brain damage with all this energy." She joked, revelling in the calm atmosphere Kakashi had eventually adopted. He had been most upset recently, his temper snapping now and then when people rubbed him the wrong way. He had even failed his first gennin team, saying that their team work was ridiculous, and he would never work with a team that had no coordination and trust.

"Oh shoosh. I'm just letting him know who I am. You get to carry him around all day, having your little bonding sessions whenever he decides to. The chakra is harmless." Ritsuka laughed at his statement, touched by the sudden enthusiasm he had found overnight.

"So you've decided it's a he then?" Ritsuka felt a little annoyed that he knew and she didn't. After all she was the one carrying… him… Kakashi tapped his Sharingan eye, and Ritsuka snorted with annoyance. "You're a dirty cheat!"

"No I'm not. I have abilities so why shouldn't I use them? He's very healthy too." He smiled as he looked up into Ritsuka's tear filled eyes.

"Yeah?" she managed to choke out, her overemotional state proving to be quite common. Kakashi nodded. Oh he was really beginning to love this new bond.

"Oh yeah. He'll probably be a kicker." Ritsuka admired the effort he had gone into learning about pregnancy. "But I'll sort him!" He laughed as he punched the air comically. "When's your last mission?" Kakashi had made it known that he was not happy about her still doing missions, but the Hokage had thankfully stepped in.

"Tomorrow." Ritsuka didn't really feel like going though. If she knew Kakashi was going to turn about so suddenly, she would have made her previous one the final mission. "It's just a message mission. To the sand. So it's not that far." Kakashi nodded slowly.

"Good. And no more hard work in case you strain yourself. You need to be in top condition for everything to go well you know." Ritsuka laughed mockingly.

"I'm pregnant not ill, remember?" Kakashi looked at her sceptically.

"Yes, yes, I know, I know. But trust me. I've read up on it. Plus I talked to a couple of nurses and they say the same. They think you should finish missions before the end of your first trimester. Which is next month by the way." Ritsuka nodded enthusiastically.

"I know! It's all so exciting." She clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

"Just… Promise you'll be careful tomorrow?" Ritsuka laughed.

"Of course I will. I always do. And especially now with me living for two these days."

Ritsuka set off early the nest morning to complete her last mission for the foreseeable future. She sighed sadly as she looked back to see the gates of Konoha disappear, a worried Kakashi waving her off.

The weather was good, the sun shining the whole day, and the nights were warm, meaning she wouldn't have to worry about catching a cold. It was her third night of camping and things started to get weird.

"Who's there?" she had called out, pulling kunai from her weapons pouch as she strained to see into the dark forest. She was so sure she had heard something just now. She waited for a few minutes, sensing her surroundings, though everything seemed to be still. Shrugging she went back over to her make shift fire, warming her hands as she thought about the months to come. Kakashi had told her so many horror stories that she was beginning to panic about everything. What if she had a breech birth and her poor little boy got stuck, or what if she bled out like Minato's wife, and Chuga mum had died giving birth to, and Kakashi's… what if it was genetic? The possibilities were endless…

Ritsuka spun around again, positive this time that someone was nearby. Her kunai were in hand and ready, her heart pounding protectively. What if she died here and now? Breaking Kakashi's heart forever…

"I know you're there. Get out her before I come and kill you." She waited in the silence, only natures symphony accompanying her. And then her eyes flew open in disbelief as her hand covered her stomach defensively.

"It's been a while." Ritsuka put her hands to her ears, and stared at the ground. He wasn't going to get her this time. She ran to the nearest tree and jumped into it, kunai flying towards the voice following her in the forest. "Oh Ritsuka! Is that any way to treat an old friend?" She cursed as his voice got louder. But he didn't have control, and she wasn't going to give it over without a fight. She cursed loudly when her stomach began to heave, her morning sickness kicking in. To much movement did that sometimes.

"Get the fuck away from me! I will kill you dead! I'll eat your face if I have to!" she screamed, her hands pushing her ears into her head harshly. Her stomach heaved again, and before she could stop herself she was vomiting on the ground by a tree base. In her daze she looked around herself. Her vision began to clear revealing Kentaro, his eyes glinting and his smile cruel. Ritsuka eyes clamped shut as she used her other senses to guide her through the forest. A couple of jutsu aimed behind her knocked Kentaro back a little, but not much.

"Oh you hurt me with your cruel words. But it's okay, I forgive you! Oh! And I thought you might like to know. I don't need my hands to help me any more." Kentaro closed his eyes in concentration, moving his voice out to Ritsuka's stumbling form. In his mind's eye, he watched her flickering chakra signature, watching as it peaked and troughed as she used her skills. That's when he noticed a little compressed bundle sitting in the base of her abdomen, a protective hand resting on it. He didn't care about hurting the abomination as he thrust his chakra strings onto her essence, spinning her until she was facing him.

"Fuck!" was all she could shout as she fell under an empty spell, her eyes opening slightly as her body slumped and fell to the ground heavily. Kentaro looked down on his love, who had grown so beautiful over the years. His fingers touched her face gingerly, sending involuntary shivers down her spine.

"Oh god, how I've missed you."

The weeks passed, and Kakashi stared at his front door, eyes red raw and heart aching. Pictures of his beloved girl were folded down, or facing away from him. The curtains were drawn and the room was heavy with depression. Rays or sunlight splashed into the floor under the windows, but he couldn't care less. His hand pushed through his hair as he stifled another onslaught of emotion, his temper rising dangerously.

Kakashi had waited for two days solid at the gates of Konoha before being ade to go on a mission in the opposite direction Ritsuka was in. he had returned to his post two days later, his mind racing with panic. The Hokage had sent Gai and his new Gennin team out on a recovery mission, but they had returned with nothing. They had found her camp, everything still there and untouched. Gai had placed the belongings on the ground in front of him, offering his condolences.

But it hadn't been enough. Kakashi had left Konoha without telling anyone, though the Hokage knew he would be back.

He had searched high and low, using his nin dogs to track her sent. But after a good distance into the forest surrounding her last camp, her scent just stopped. Two unfamiliar scents had appeared. Eventually it stopped as well, as if they had just completely vanished off the face of the planet.

Kakashi had ravelled to all the villages and towns nearby, keeping a picture with him as he asked if anyone had seen her, but it was all in vain.

Kakashi fingered the little picture in his hands, his eyes glazing over.

"Why? Why now… why Ritsuka?!" He couldn't help the tears that fell. Couldn't help the strangled cries of anguish that echoed in his room.

And so the love he had so happily accepted burned at his soul, and would torment him for the rest of his life.

And thus the life of a shinobi is complete.

**Herro! Ok guys! This is the end of A Love Over Time! huzzah!**

**Now i know some of you might be ragin at the ending! but panic not! i have already started on a sequel! i just thought this was a nice end to make people go "Oh you bitch! Get this fixed! Ritsuka can't die! Kakashi will be so sad!" etc. some of you might even hate me! but it's okay!**

**I felt that this was a nice twist, in a way that describes just how shit and unforgiving the shinobi world can be. But just like most of you guys, i absolutely hate sad endings! if i had read this story and someone else had written it, i would want to shake them! But i also felt that the story needed to end here to fully drive the point of dispair home. plus, ritsuka is a made up character, so she isn't in the manga/anime. and Kakashi doesn't have a son as far aw we know, so it will need to be a few years in the future from this point, and i didn't want to busy myself with reriting re-exsisting stories. **

**but enough of this rambling.**

**I hope oyu have enjoyed our time together, i have done emensely. All you lovely reviewers making this amost pleasurable experience!**

**Until the next story!**

**Peace!**


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